Rise and Fall
by BFOREVERYOUNG
Summary: Life is about change. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's beautiful. Most of the time it's both.Nothing stays the same at all. Sequel to "Clipped Wings"
1. Where we Stand

**(Set five years after Clipped Wings) **

No matter how many times I left Charming, it always seemed to find a way to bring me back home. It had been five years since Donna called me that she needed me. Without hesitation I was on my way back home, Hap on the other hand stayed in Tacoma since shit was kicking and they needed him.

At first it was a hassle going back in forth from Charming to Tacoma till we began getting used to it. Now all I'm waiting for was for Hap to transfer to Charming, since I see no reason to return to Tacoma because Charming will always try to get me back.

I grabbed my phone and once again fought the urge to throw it against the wall when I realized that Hap hadn't called me at all and my calls had gone unanswered. I calmed a bit after talking to Linda that Tacoma was going thru some heavy shit and that was probably the reason I had not heard from him.

I just hope whatever he was up to he was safe, and I may be able to live without him for a few days but not forever. Before I removed the covers Killer jumped out of the bed and went to greet Donna as we heard the front door open, there were times I thought that he gets more excited to see the kids than me and Hap.

Sometimes I wanted a quiet morning, but then when I got it I felt a little lonely so I appreciated that Donna would come unannounced my house which was open to anyone in my family.

"Morning" I said as I walked into the kitchen as Donna was putting on the coffee. Ever since Opie went in Donna looked more tired and had began getting impatient with the waiting. I was surprised she didn't leave Opie when he pressured for a divorce but damn proud of her when she stood her ground and stood by him.

"I almost got attacked by Midnight out there." she said as I looked over at the backyard as Ellie and Kenny were playing with Killer. He was getting older but that never stopped him from being a trouble maker, and he was still not trusted alone in the house.

"I told you she became a wild cat, she only seems to want to come in if Hap's home." I said as I sat down as Donna sat next to me. I had saved that damn cat, and she seemed to always like Hap better even though he never wanted her in the first place. At first she wouldn't sleep on the bed unless Hap was home, and now she stayed outside till he called her.

"Ellie is going thru her everything sucks mood." said Donna. That was one of the many reasons I wouldn't have kids. I could barely handle Hap's bi polar moods adding a kid would just fuck up everything, but deep down I think I really wanted to try it out but did not want to risk my relationship with Hap.

When we first got together it was certain we didn't want kids. I didn't want to pass on the family curse to another person when I had a hard time dealing with it, and Hap well he was not father material. So I would just fill that little void with Kenny and Ellie and hopefully if everything goes alright with Wendy in a few months with Abel.

"It's just the summer, how are things with Opie home?" It was probably harder with them than it was with Hap and me when he got out. Thankfully Hap has been able to stay outside of prison this past years which I was really grateful I don't think I could take him doing time again.

"It's like is he is not even there, all quiet and shit it's nerve racking. The kids keep their distance as if he is a stranger, can you believe that?" I know Opie was trying very hard in earning straight without the club, but deep down he knew and we all knew that he was the club he grew up in it there was no way out of it. Donna would just need to understand that. It was only a matter of time that the club would need him back, and Donna knew he was going to choose the club. All I hoped was that Donna would stand by him now when they were having this problem.

"Give him time, things will get better." I really did hope things would work out for them. They went thru a lot of shit for them not to make it now.

"Yeah well I hope so, I will see you later then." she said as she stood up and went to call the kids. I went to the room to get ready so that I could go and take over the shop from mom. What a life. Well I had everything I wanted so I couldn't complain that much.

~A~

As I arrived at the shop I noticed mom wasn't even in yet, sometimes it felt as I was the only one running the shop. I went straight to the office knowing I was going to find a very pissed off Piney.

"Where the hell have you been?" called out Piney as I reached the door, seriously rethinking using heels around here. "I have been here all damn morning dealing with your shit." Sometimes it was best to let him get it all out. It was barely nine , so the shop had been open for like thirty minutes. He just grumbled on his way out I could feel the love this morning. All he fucking needed was some fucking tequila and he will go back to a sane person.

"Morning to you too." I said as I realized he just came in here and disorganized everything. When I had the office everything had an order, mom tried to keep it as best as she could but when the guys took over it was like a damn tornado passed thru here. I began working on the work orders before the guys barged in here demanding them.

"Well that's an ass I remember" he said as I was leaning over the desk organizing the last orders. There was always one thing that bothered me about this and It was no damn organizing.

"Wow you recognize my ass, but not a phone." I said as I continued what I was doing as he just stood there by the door. He knows how I hate him on the road alone, especially the fact when he doesn't call me to let me know that he was alright.

"Well it's a good fucking ass." he said as he moved from the door smacking my ass as he sat down behind me on the chair.

"Really Hap" I turned around and glared at him as he just chuckled, always the same thing so I just went back to work. The only way I would know if he was coming to Charming was when I talked to Sparkles or Linda. Linda probably did not know this time since she did not tell me anything last time we spoke.

"Alright, Alright" he said as my phone began to ring. Fucking asshole I said as I answered the phone and turned around to face him.

"Hey baby I'm fine and in Charming" he said into the phone.

"Oh that's great since there is an asshole here in the office and is getting on my last nerve." I said as I hung up and sat on the desk.

"Oh so now I'm an asshole." he said as he stood up and came and stood between my legs.

"Happy when have you not been an asshole?" I asked as I wrapped my hands around him as I looked up at him. "How long can you stay?"

"Have to get back on the road with Lorca." he said as he ran his hands up my legs. I was about to say something when he leaned down and kissed me moving his hips against mine as I leaned back. He moved his hands under my shirt as he bit my lower lip making me moan as I arched up against him forgetting that I was on the desk.

"Hey can't you guys give it a rest once." said mom as she entered the office. Happy groaned as I pushed him back so that I could sit up and get down from the desk at least we were still wearing clothes and it wasn't a customer this time.

"I'm taking a break." I said as we walked to the door.

"Next time let Piney take the damn office." she said as we walked to the clubhouse. Right like if the old man would understand.

"Everything alright with the house?" he asked as I closed the door. We could talk about the house later all I wanted right now was him.

~Gemma~

As I sat down I thought we were all doing fine, but deep down I know there was going to be some changes coming. Something was going to wrong and I had a feeling. I looked out the window to see why we were so backed up as I tried to distract myself for a bit.

"You have got to be kidding me." I said as I walked to the clubhouse, I only had the guys that I hired rather than the guys that had to be in this morning. I knew they probably were already drinking rather than what I had asked them.

I walked into the clubhouse only finding Clay and Tig sitting at the bar. As Tig saw me he grumbled as he walked outside he had to be clocked in since the morning.

"Where are the other guys?" I asked Clay as I sat down next to him. I had to get the shop moving before he would start complaining about how the shop was moving to slow for his liking.

"Around I will send them to the shop in a bit, running to slow for them to be wasting time."

"What's going on?" I asked as I followed him outside as he leaned into the picnic table. I knew there had to be something bothering him.

"Opie just got out Donna has him earning straight, Hap has been helping out but is showing no interest in transferring."

"Well Opie will be back soon he just needs to get his life in order, with Jess in Charming Hap will stick around. Everything will end up working on the end." I said Jess had to figure out what they were going to end up deciding, it had to be discussed if she wanted to stay in Charming or go back to Tacoma. This idea they have of him all the way in Tacoma and her in Charming is not working, even if they think otherwise. That is no the way you lived this life.

"I'll talk to Jess maybe she can convince Hap to finally transfer to Charming." I suggested as I watched Hap and Jess walkout of the clubhouse over to Hap's bike.

"With our damn luck, Jess would end moving back to Tacoma." said Clay as he walked to the shop.

I would have to find a way to talk with Donna without Jess getting the middle of it knowing her she was going to stand by her no matter her choice. Dealing with Jess has become harder now that she does her own things even Hap fucking accepts that. If they think they can do things on their own they had another thing coming.

~Jess~

"So when are you coming back?" I asked as I leaned into his bike.

"Should be able to come by in a few days, got a run over here in a couple of weeks." he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Things with Donna and Opie are going good." I said as I didn't even know what was next for us, or what we wanted to do.

"So what do you want to do next?" he asked as he let me go and looked at me.

"Hows Tacoma?" I had been up there but only for short visits, Sparkles and Linda were the only ones I cared about back there and I actually loved it here in Charming.

"Charming is closer to mom, so I'll finish up with Tacoma and then I will transfer to Charming." he said. It sounded good but I will believe it when I see the patches on his cut.

"That sounds good, were going to have to get used to living together again."

"We will be alright."

"Sometimes I love and hate you Happy."

(Thanks for Reading. Updates for this story will be on Mondays and Fridays.)


	2. Answers will Come

I had just finished cleaning the house with Neeta's help, when mom walked in. I knew something had happened with the club's warehouse that had all the guys tied up this morning, so mom just had me to bother.

"I thought Hap was going to come in today?" she asked as she put her purse and keys on the table. Lately she had taken an interest to what I do with Happy.

"He should be by later." I responded as as I looked at her as she grabbed a cup of coffee. She was up to something and I still did not know what was going on.

"Jax is going to the storage later, maybe you might want to go help him out getting somethings for Abel." she said. I did not like the fact that there was going to be used things when we could use this opportunity to go shopping.

"Yeah I rather do that, than join you to go visit that crank whore even if it is for a check up." I loved my future nephew already but I could not stand his mother, what the hell was Jax thinking. Whoever thought she was mother material was making a big mistake.

"Alright I will call you after, remember we have that dinner planned and I expect you and Happy to show up this time." she said as I grabbed my keys. I had forgotten about the damn dinner, we missed the last one and I almost got killed, we were planning on visiting Ada either today or tomorrow.

We both walked out of the house, after I locked it which I don't even know why I bother locking up since everyone ended up having a key to my house.

~A~

When I arrived at the storage I found Jax going thru a box as I sat down next to him, did he really depend on me coming since I noticed he came on his bike. Where did he plan on carrying all the stuff he planned on using.

"I always wondered where these were." I said as he handed me some pictures of dad, and some with mom. Mom had packed everything right away and put it all in the storage would be my guess.

"Mom seemed to have put them in here with all of his other stuff." said Jax as he kept taking things out of the box. If he didn't find anything I would love to go shopping. "What's that?" I asked as I looked over his shoulder.

"A book he wrote about the club, what he had envisioned it to be. It's dedicated for me and Tommy." he said as he smirked as he looked over at me and I knew what he was trying to do.

"Aren't we a little to old to be playing favorites here?" I asked as I passed the pictures as he began putting everything in the box.

"Well all I know is that you are the old one darling." he said as I smacked him in the arm.

"I'm two years younger than you idiot." I said as I walked over to the car as I opened the trunk as he put the box in the trunk.

"Why would you bring your bike, if you were picking up things." I said wasn't he here to pick up things rather than just some box that held memories.

"Ma said you were going to be coming to help me out, so I knew you were going to show up." he said as I went to close up the storage.

"Right because my life revolves around you and mom." I said. This was probably her way of making me go to the clubhouse and work the office since I had planned on taking a day off.

"I love you" he called out as he sped off. Yeah whatever, he as Hap thought they could fix everything with those three little words.

When I arrived at the clubhouse, I went straight to the shop bumping into Half sack who was trying hard not to vomit as he was dealing with removing a deer from a windshield. What the hell? I took off my sunglasses as I looked at it stopping mid way to the office Half sack turned around as he noticed me looking at it.

"I don't even want to know just get it out of here." I said as I stopped him from saying anything as he just nodded and I continued on my way. It sucks to be a prospect. I walked in to find Juice dealing with the office, having Juice deal with the office is not the smartest thing to do everything will be lost for like a month.

"I did not move anything." he said as he saw me and raised his hands getting up and walked out. As I was going to start filing the orders from yesterday Half sack knocked, I still did not understand his knocking.

"Jess do you have a box I can borrow?" Half sack asked as he stood by the door.

"Some new shit came in, unpack them and you got yourself a new box." I said as my phone began to ring as he just went on his way. I smiled as I noticed who it was, I was lucky to get this phone call when he had already called last night.

"Wow I get another phone call this might be my lucky day" I said as sat back.

"Yeah so when I get there less bitching and more ass."

"Oh that's lovely way to make me feel used, and don't say that you don't need me."

"I want you" there he goes trying to fix shit with words.

"You coming alone?" I knew the answer this time, couldn't he just ride up with Nomads it made me feel less worried.

"What more do you need babe?"

"Hap." I said letting him know that it bothered me even though he already knew.

"Jessica what did we talk about?"

"Alright whatever I'm still going to worry until I see you. Shit got to go." I said as mom drove up to the office honking her horn, this was not good at all.

"Hey I expect your ass at the club." he said as he hung up as I walked over to mom.

"What's going on?" I asked as all the time when she arrived this way.

"Get in the car we have to get to St. Thomas." she demanded not explaining the reason.

"What the hell. Now what did you do?" I asked as I got in the car as she drove to the hospital.

"I didn't do shit, Junkie bitch was passed out in the kitchen, called the ambulance and headed over here. Jax doesn't need this shit that bitch was problem since day one." she yelled.

"The baby?" I asked fearing the worst, Stupid fucking crank whore.

"Nothing yet the bitch was bleeding lets go find out." she said as we walked with the guys inside.

I stood with Bobby and Chibs as Jax began to talk to the doctor it broke my heart when she announced a twenty percent chance to live and to screw it all up he had the family flaw.

I leaned into the counter, maybe this was the thing that was going to bring the change mom kept talking about. I walked over to mom after Jax decided to go and deal with this his own way. I followed mom and Clay as they were going to let us see Abel.

"Alright I will be back in a few." said the doctor as she stepped out. Alright no children for me ever I said as looked at Abel. He looked so small to be hooked to tubes fucking bitch.

"What the hell is she doing here?" mom asked as I sat down and kept my eyes on Abel as mom and Clay began talking about the bitch. Fucking stupid crack whore.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" I asked as Clay stepped out. Mom looked over at me as if I was missing something.

"Dr. Tara Knowles" said mom as she made a face as she sat down next to me. Now that is one thing Jax doesn't need. What the hell was she doing back, and on Abel's case.

"How the hell did you not notice she was all Jax I asked to help on the case. Now I have to bitches to worry about." she added.

"I was busy worrying about my nephew rather than whores, and stopping myself from calling Happy to come and deal with the Wendy problem."

"He is going to be fine baby, Teller's are strong especially the men. We will take care of Wendy." The way mom said it made me stay a little calm. Why couldn't at least one thing go right for us.

~A~

I was sitting outside as I heard a bike pull up, I lit a cigarette this is what I needed I was thinking about calling Donna but she has her own stuff to worry about.

"Thought you quit" Hap asked as he stood in front of me.

"It's my stress reliever." I said as he sat down I leaned back into him as he took my cigarette away.

"Yeah so was chocolates" he said as he handed me back the cigarette. "Hows the kid?

"Twenty percent chance."

"Shit, fucking bitch. Clay needs me at the club, some shit about the warehouse." he said I stood up as he gave me a kiss and walked to his bike as I went back inside the hospital.

"Heading over to Jax's clean up the place, mind helping?" mom asked as I stepped into the room.

"Yeah lets just get my car back from the club." I said as we both walked out of the hospital. I was thinking about calling Neeta to help us out but I remembered she was going to be busy with her own family.

"Hap's here." said mom as we arrived at the clubhouse.

"Yeah he was at the hospital, Clay needs him for club business." I said as I walked to the office and grabbed my purse and my keys as Hap was walking toward me.

"Hey you staying?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"No I'm coming back after Church is over, helping mom clean at Jax's" I said as I looked at him.

"You clean." he said raising an eyebrow.

"I always have the house clean" I said since I was rarely home and Neeta helped out but it was clean.

"Yeah and how much do I paying Neeta each month." he said as I just rolled my eyes.

"Oh says the man that complains over one dirty dish."

"Shut up" he said as he pressed his lips to mine literally shutting me up with his lips. I closed my eyes as his tongue parted my lips, as he pressed me into the wall when I remembered we were not the only ones in this world. I pushed him back as I had things to do and he had to be at the chapel.

"What the hell is Opie doing here?" I asked this is the last thing I needed. It was only a matter of time that Donna would end up calling me.

"Hey that's not your shit to worry about." he said as my phone began to ring.

"Right." I said as I showed him it was Donna.

"Go deal with that, meet you here so that we can go home." he said as he walked away as I answered the phone.

"Donna I'm on my way" I said as I heard her crying and mumbling I did not understand a word she was saying so it was just better for me to just go over there.

"Change of plans" I told mom who understood and drove off as I went to my car.

~A~

When I arrived at Donna's I found her on the couch, I went to check on the kids who were already in bed as I closed the door to their room I headed over to the living room. I sat down next to her and wait for her to get it all out.

"So how did it all go down?" I asked as we had been sitting here for thirty minutes already and we were just looking around. Donna got up and walked to the kitchen then walked back in.

"He didn't say anything all he did was grab his cut and walked out. Our family is falling apart, and the ones responsible is the club and what does he do he runs back to him. He is a coward he can't tell them no." she yelled as she sat back down.

"Donna he promised to try, no one but him knows how hard it is." I said as I knew defending Opie was not going to help anyone here, Donna was pissed and crying and for the first time I didn't know what to do.

"A week is not trying Jessica." she yelled at me, when she used my full name or anyone they either didn't like me or were mad at me. I just closed my eyes and leaned back.

"I don't know what to do here Donna."

"There are things we have to deal on our own here Jess." she said as I hugged her. She was right this wasn't something I could fix. I got up and grabbed my things as she walked me out. I made sure I tried to clear my face of any evidence that I had cried, I did not want to ruin this night to talk about other people just about us.

~A~

When I arrived at the club, I noticed Hap was the one in the ring being separated by Bobby I don't even want to know the reason why he was in the ring with Tig.

"Here I thought you were going to save your energy for me." I said as Hap put on his cut as he gave me a quick kiss as he put an arm around my shoulder as we walked over to my car.

"Oh we will see who last all night" he said as I rolled my eyes. I knew there was a reason why he didn't want to stay at the clubhouse, I was not going to complain about it just go with the flow.

"Right says the one that now falls asleep faster than me." I said as I turned around to face him as he

pressed me into the car as he licked my lips.

"Your not that young anymore bitch."

"Yeah but I'm still in my twenty's well late twenties but whatever." I said as I pushed him back. In two more years I would be thirty it felt weird now that I thought of it.

"Let's go home before I drag your ass into the clubhouse and show you who can handle more." he said as he walked over to his bike.

I followed behind him all the way home, I preferred the house over the club any day. I grabbed my keys as I got out of the car as Hap turned off his bike and followed me to the doors wrapping his arms around my waist as he kissed my neck as I opened the door.

"Too much clothes" mumbled Hap on my neck as he unbuckled his belt as I unbuttoned my jeans as he kept kissing my neck as he lowered my jeans as I felt how hard he was as he stood behind me.

Hap turned me around and picked me up as we reached the couch, I laid back down as I watched him pulled off my jeans. I leaned up as I kissed him, as I removed my shirt. He moved onto his knees as he removed his cut and took of his shirt.

I turned around as he moved behind me as he grabbed my hips and entered me moving one of his hand across my stomach as he held me to him as his other hand was on my waist as he moved quickly thrusting deep as I rocked my hips against him.

"Fuck Jess" he grunted as he slid out of me. I turned to face him as I kissed him softly on the lips and down his neck as I held on to him as we came down. "Let's get you in bed" said Hap as I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to the room.

I laid on his chest as we catched our breath, it was always like this the first time was a desperate need the second time around we seemed to take our time. Our relationship was turning into sex, maybe my mother was right I'm becoming a road whore for him. I shut my eyes tightly to stop over thinking things.

"Hap"

"Hmm" he said as he ran his hand thru my hair. For some reason I felt as if we were not moving, but I did not know what I wanted or what it was going to take for me to just accept how things were going. For the first time I felt the distance in our relationship.

"Nothing everything is alright." as I said that as he turned us around as he ended on top of me again.

"What time are you leaving?" I asked as he looked at me. I just figured out why he didn't fight me on the fact that I wanted to bring my car when he always made me leave it at the club when he was going to stay more than one day.

"We still got time." he said as he ran a hand down my body.

"You should rest." I said as I turned my back on him, he just leaned into me as he wrapped an arm around me as he placed a kiss on my back. I just closed my eyes and went to sleep.

~A~

I awoke alone, Hap had awoke me like three hours ago that he had to head up to Tacoma. I did feel like are lives were not moving, but what did I want. Donna's life did move on when she was there for me but mine was still the same. As it was when I moved back over here, it would have still been the same if I had stayed in Tacoma with Hap.

No matter the reason I would probably do it again if it meant supporting Donna. I got up and took a shower I was going to go with mom and Luann to the hospital but I had forgotten to put on the alarm so I had to take a quick shower.

~A~

When I arrived at the hospital I found mom talking to Tara, that was not a good thing for any of us. I did not really care why she was here, I knew that Jax was like a lost puppy when it came to her and he was going to do whatever he wanted when it came to that.

"How are things going?" I asked Luann as I sat next to her as she grabbed my coffee.

"Well the first surgery went well, and they want to go in and repair the heart now." she said as mom walked back not looking to happy.

"Stupid bitch." said mom as she sat down.

"Morning" I said as she just sat back and closed her eyes. After a while mom got up and started walking in front of us.

"Isn't Hap home, I thought you were going to stay in" said Luann as she hit my shoulder. "I would if I had a man in my bed."

"No he had to leave at four in the morning" I said as mom was pacing in front of us when Piney joined us.

"At least you get him baby" added Luann as now I felt bad when I thought of her situation.

"Let's go" said mom as I stood up and followed her as Luann stayed there. I had a bad feeling about this, mom had too much time on her hands and she had come up with a plan.

"Yesterday did you guys find anything for Abel?" mom asked as I got in her car.

"No Jax just took a box from storage, found one of Dad's book that he wrote about the club." I said as I noticed where we were going.

"Did he show it to you?"

"I was not interested, club shit ain't my thing" I said as I noticed she turned to stare at me.

"Who raised you Jess?"

"Well hopefully you, if not I have been lied all my life." I said as we got out of the car.

"Alright how the hell do we do this?" she asked as she walked into the apartments.

"Right mom because I do this everyday." I said as I looked at her as if she was serious. She looked as if she had not thought about it that much. "Oh are you serious hold my purse." I said if Hap found out about this he would kick my ass and I would accept it gracefully this time since this was very stupid.

"Be careful." said mom as she stayed on the lookout. I took off my ring and handed to her no reason why I should be robbed buying crank.

"Shit" I said as I looked at my phone as it rang. "It's Hap" I said as I showed her my phone.

"Wow he senses when you are up to no good, here hold my purse and don't move." she said as she walked upstairs. We had a better surviving chance if we had gone to Darby.

"What are you doing Jess?" he asked as I answered maybe he did sense that I was at a crack house.

"Offering assistance." I said as I waited for mom when I remembered she kept my ring. Shit I hope nothing happens to the ring, I don't think I can live without it.

"Jessica what the hell are you up to and don't say nothing."

"You don't want to know trust me." I said as a guy passed by me and nodded his head. "It involves Wendy and I will call you later" I said as I hung up the phone as mom walked downstairs.

"Alright now we need a bible" said mom as she walked passed me. What we were going to ask for forgiveness for buying crank we had done worse shit than buying crank.

"So what the hell are we going to do?" I asked as she stopped the car and stepped out.  
>"We are just going to give her some assistance." she said as she got back in the car as we left a random church.<p>

"Were going to shoot her up with crank?" I asked she did have a lot of time in her hands as we made our way back into Charming.

"It's her choice, we are just the supplier." said mom we had gone all thru that trouble for nothing. We walked into the hospital and headed straight to her room I wanted to visit Abel before I headed home so I hope mom was quick.

"Alright are you ready?" she asked. I wanted to go in there but I knew I would not give a fuck about it being her choice and I would end up shooting it up her vain myself.

"If I go in there I would probably end up shooting her up." I said as mom agreed and walked in as I stayed on the lookout. Hap had called me several times but I was not in the mood to deal with him. I did not want this anymore, if he couldn't come to Charming I was moving to Tacoma and that was final.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing/Alerts/Favorites. If i have a chance i will update on Wednesdays too. Next update should be up on Friday)


	3. Time Changes

She always does this, when I need her she is off with Happy. She is probably the only one able to sit down and deal with these numbers till she is done.

I will not bitch about this if she makes it to dinner, I was planning on it tomorrow but it's more better today. Now my other problem is Jax, and with that tart here in Charming she could bring all sorts of problems to my baby.

Then with me suggesting for him to go into storage he found a damn book I can't seem to find, probably cause more problems to him rather than help him.

"Did Jax ask about the things he found in storage?" I asked Clay as he stood next to me as I looked over Jax. Clay seems to not be bothered by all of this, as always it's my job to worry about it all and try to hide everything that could fuck everything up.

"No, and stop worrying he ain't his old man." That was where Clay was wrong, John still influenced Jax even in death.

"I'll see if I can get Jess to check it out." Jax still confided a lot in her, he probably will show it to her if she asks.

"That won't be necessary leave her out of it, it's not important" said Clay. "Where the hell is she any way?" Clay asked as he reached the door. I had to be prepared if Jax went a different direction, and Jess would be my accessory.

"Went to visit Ada with Hap." I said as he just nodded and went outside. I knew if I asked Jess about the book she could get it out of Jax's hands but she would really need a good reason since she seems not to care about club business.

~Jess~

Hap had picked me up early, we had not talked about the Wendy situation. Since I had ignored his calls, so he ended up ignoring mine when I called him back. Once we hit the road, it seem to calm me. He seemed more angry than usual so something must be bothering besides the fact that I didn't answer the phone.

"Does she know we are coming?" I asked as we walked into the building. He had still not said anything and it was getting on my nerves.

"Yeah she does answer her phone." he said as we reached her room. I just rolled my eyes and fought the urge to hit him as we walked into the room.

"Morning" I said as she was sitting in the bed reading one of her magazines.

"Morning beautiful" she said as I kissed her cheek and sat down on the chair next to the bed. "Happy" by the tone in her voice it meant that she was mad at him.

"So how are you feeling?" I asked breaking the silence as both Hap and Ada glared at each other.

"Better if I was in my own house" she said as she looked over to me. Almost six months here and she was not getting used to it. Hap just walked out of the room without saying anything.

"You know he is doing this because he cares for you right?"

"I think he is mad at you" she said.

"Oh hey he is mad at both of us" I said as she just shrugged. Yeah she never worries about that since I am the one that has to deal with him.

I was about to say something when a guy walked in, Ada smiled as if he was the only one in the room. The guy looked alright, I wouldn't mind having him check me out. He looked like the guys I would go for before I had gotten with Happy.

"He already left Jess." said Ada as I looked at her as she laughed.

"Who was that?" I asked interested.

"My nurse Antonio." she answered.

"Not bad" I said as she agreed.

"I know" she said as Hap walked in and we stopped talking about Nurse Antonio. I don't think Hap would approve of the conversation.

"Who was that?" Hap asked as he sat down.

"My nurse." answered Ada as I looked at her then back at Happy. I don't think he would like that Ada had a male nurse.

"What?"

"Men can be nurses Hap." I said as he just glared at me. I just grabbed a magazine and began flipping the pages avoiding his glare.

"You change that." he said to Ada, Hap said it as if he was not talking to his mother and their was no room for discussion. I knew Ada we were going to come back and Antonio was still going to be her nurse. "Let's go" said Hap as he went to the door.

"Alright I will see you soon." I said as I said my goodbyes to Ada as Hap waited for me at the door.

"Tell him not to come if he is going to be pissed off at everybody." she said as I walked over to him. I know he heard and he should feel bad for taking it out on her.

~A~

"So what the hell was that?" I asked as we walked to his bike.

"Where the fuck is your ring?" he asked as he glared at me. My heart sank as I realized I wasn't wearing it and I had not noticed. I looked down at my hand which I have no idea why it wasn't like if it was going to appear.

"Mom has it." I said. Was he really mad that I wasn't wearing my ring, he had no right for someone who didn't even wear one.

"Why are you not wearing it?" oh shit yeah didn't think that one thru. Do I want him mad that I'm not wearing it because I didn't want crank dealers to rob it from me.

"Your not going to like it" I said as I looked at him as he showed no emotion which was worse than being glared at.

"I don't give a shit."

"Alright well we went to a dealers stash house and I had to.." oh well now he is glaring at me. Shit how do I get out of this one. "Mom went in I was just the lookout since you ended up calling me I couldn't go so she went." It wasn't as if I was not going to tell him, since I told him everything since he always found out about it which was worse than me telling him.

"Just stop talking and why the fuck were you there?" he growled as he grabbed me and pulled me to him.

"Um payback for Wendy that didn't really work in our favor." I said since mom had let me know that Wendy had overdosed but escaped death last night. "We just gave her some assistance."

"I don't want to ever fucking hear you were at a crack house ever again Jessica. We will deal with that shit later. It better be the last time I see you without that ring Jess. Get on." Yeah it was better if I told him, rather than him finding out. Right.

This time the road was not calming as I had been on the way to Bakersfield. I noticed he stopped at Donna's, I still had enough time before the dinner at moms.

"I got to take care of some things, I'll pick you up in a bit for the dinner." he said as he gave me a quick kiss.

"Alright call me" I said as I walked to the house as Hap drove away. I walked into Donna's house and went straight to the kitchen. I knew she was not going to go to the dinner so I was not even going to bring it up.

"Well if it isn't Martha Stewart's daughter." said Donna as I walked into the kitchen. I looked over at Ellie who just seemed lost as me.

"Alright usually you refer her as my mother." I said as I sat down next to Ellie.

"Yeah till she started saying all this shit about the club being the glue, and how we need the club. In her words I'm angry, that bitch doesn't know me I'm pissed. While he was missing out on everything and all of you were having a fucking good time." she yelled as she was doing dinner. I motioned for Ellie to leave the table as her mother needed to vent.

"She has been like that since yesterday." said Ellie as she left the table.

"Donna the club is always there to help..

"They don't help, it ruins lives" she said as Opie entered the house. Donna turned back to what she was doing.

"Hey Jess you joining us for dinner?" asked Opie as he gave me a hug.

"No I have a dinner to attend, waiting on Hap to pick me up."

"Hap still in Tacoma right?" he asked as he leaned on the wall.

"Yeah for now he is thinking about transferring to Charming." I said as I heard Donna sigh.

"Are we here to talk about club stuff?" Donna asked as Opie just walked away over to the kids room.

"Donna we were not talking about club shit, we were talking about Hap that's all. Calm down a bit" I said as she looked at me.

"We can't fix shit like you and Hap we have important things in our lives" she said as my phone began to ring.

"Yeah I'm going to go" I said as I grabbed my things and waited for Hap outside. I know I was going to say something and I was going to regret it. As I closed the door Hap was already outside, I wiped away the tears quickly and headed his way.

"You alright" he asked as I hope he didn't notice I was crying.

I didn't say anything as he found out as I got on behind him. He just touched my hand, then headed to mom's.

Last thing I needed was for mom to know that I was crying and make it a let's figure out what is wrong with you. Just because I didn't have kids with Hap meant that we had nothing to fight for, so Donna was wrong.

When we arrived I got off the bike and took the helmet off as Hap stayed staring at me. For someone who always ends up telling me to shut up since I tend to talk a lot according to him, he always wants to know what's wrong with me.

"I think I made a big mistake" I said as I leaned into his bike. I shouldn't have left Tacoma if Hap wasn't coming with me. It would only end up fucking things up for me as mom had said.

"No you didn't you would of probably come over here even if you were not talking to each other" Hap said as I wiped away the tears.

"I hate that you are right" I fixed my hair as we went inside, the guys were waiting in the living room. Hap went to join them as I went over to the kitchen.

"Hey Martha Stewart" I said as I watched a couple of mom's helpers and Luann in the kitchen with her.

"Typical she called you." said mom as she continued what she was doing not looking my way. Why couldn't she just leave Donna alone.

"No she didn't what are we eating?" I asked as I sat on the counter as I watched them work.

"Everything alright with you two" she asked as she looked at me. How does she figure everything?

"Everything is fine" I said as my phone began to ring, I knew who it was and since Hap was here with me I turned it off.

"When you use the word fine, it's far from it Jess." she said.

"How about helping" said Luann as she gave me a plate knowing that I did not want to talk about it. Then I remembered why the hell I was here in the first place.

"Oh hey Mom where is my ring?" I asked as I got off from the counter.

"My jewelry box upstairs, did not want to get killed over it." she said as I left the kitchen. I ran upstairs to get it as I bumped into Clay.

"Hey baby girl" he said as we walked into the room.

"Mom has kidnapped my ring" I said as I looked in her jewelry box.

"I have to talk to Hap he is making it worse for me when it comes to getting your mother a present. Every thing he gets you all he does is gives your mother ideas for new jewelry." he said as I put on my ring as we walked down stairs.

"Don't give him that much credit, he gives mom the money and she chooses it."

"Now it make sense to why she likes your things." he said as I walked over to the kitchen while he went to the living room.

"What now you feel complete?" asked mom as I began helping.

"I could say he almost divorced me for not wearing it."

"You know sometimes I miss Precious" said Luann out of the blue as she came back to the kitchen. We both looked at her and agreed, she made things interesting. Bobby's new flavor of the year only seemed to join us on dinners and she kept her distance. Not that I blamed her.

"Alright enough of that shit let's eat" said mom as we followed her to the table.

I went to sit down next to Hap as mom sat next to me. As I looked over at Jax as he smiled at me and we looked at mom and Clay for now everything was alright. Hap grabbed my hand as I turned to look at him as he played with my ring. "I promise never to take it of, even if there are crank dealers are near." I said as he just shook his head as I gave him a kiss.

"Your still not going to get away with it." he said as he kissed me back. Yes I will I thought as we enjoyed the dinner with everyone.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing.)


	4. Chocolates

I looked over at the clock, I had not talked to Donna but I knew she was going to drop off the kids in a bit. I knew Donna was having a hard time but that was just not right what she had said about me and Hap. I felt Hap move his hand up my leg as he moved me closer to him.

"Hap I have to get up. I have things to do." I said as I tried to push him off. Donna was going to drop off the kids since she had to work in the morning and I was going to take them to Fun Town.

"No your mine." he said as he bit my neck as he tried to raise my shirt as I held it down.

"Why don't you join us." I suggested as he let me go and moved off me. I knew this was the only way he would let me go and I had to get dressed before the kids arrived. "Common it will be great. You will love it." I laughed as he slapped my ass as I got off the bed.

"I'd rather get shot than go to that shit." he said as I looked for some clothes.

"It's not that bad." I said as I put on a shirt, as Killer ran out the room."The kids are here" I said as Hap groaned and put a pillow on his head as I finished getting dressed and walked out closing the door.

"Aunt Jess are you ready, let's go." yelled Kenny as Ellie hit him.

"Calm down. Morning Aunt Jess mom brought chocolate cake. Can we go now?" she said as I heard Donna in the kitchen.

"Go outside with Killer for a bit, then we will leave." I said as they ran outside with Killer. "You know you and Hap always try to fix things with chocolate." I said as I stood in the kitchen and looked at Donna.

"You know maybe because it helps a little bit. I'm so sorry Jess I feel horrible about it, I didn't even sleep all night." she said.

"You know I didn't sleep that much either" I said as I smiled over at her.

"Yeah I noticed Hap's bike in the drive way." she said as we sat down at the table.

"Can we go now?" Kenny asked as Ellie hit him again.

"Ellie enough with the hitting and Kenny stop it or you guys are not going and you will stay here all day." said Donna. I hope she was kidding I don't think I could handle them cooped up in the house all day and with Hap here no one would end up alive at the end of the day.

"So are you going to be able to meet us there?" I asked the kids went back outside.

"Yeah I should be able to enjoy some time with the kids." she said as she stood up. "I will meet you there then." the kids ran over to say goodbye as I grabbed my things.

"Hap I'm heading out you need anything? Are you sure you don't want to come?" I asked as he threw a pillow at me as he got up.

"Oh common they are not that bad, well Kenny can give Moby a run for his money but.. alright stop throwing pillows at me." I said as I threw them back on the bed.

"There's a reason why I don't have kids Jess."

"Birth control and common sense." I said as I gave him a kiss and closed the door. I grabbed my keys and headed to the car before Kenny drives himself.

"Finally." said Kenny as once again Ellie punched Kenny on the shoulder.

"No Kenny we are staying here all day, and Ellie stop hitting your brother go get in the car." I said as I closed the front door. Thank you birth control.

~Gemma~

The guys had already left and I was looking for Jess I knew she was going to be here with Opie's kids.

"Jess what are you eating " I asked as she looked at me as she looked at the cotton candy.

"Nothing it belongs to Ellie" she said as she handed it to Ellie, who looked confused as I joined them.

"Yeah so Donna stuck you with the kids." I said. Yesterday they were all fighting and now like always Jess is stuck with the kids. When it comes to Hap and Donna she forgives easily.

"She is joining us later mom" said Jess as she watched the kids go on a ride.

"I thought Hap was home."

"He is but this is not his thing." What is his thing, usually he is always on the road and at the clubhouse but he never seemed to make time for her.

"Jess have you thought about kids?" I asked as I really hoped she didn't want any.

"We are not ready for that mom."

"So when do you think you will be ready?" I asked hoping she would say never.

"I want to be just like you when I grow up" announced Ellie out of nowhere as she hugged Jess.

"Awe. Wait no your mother and father won't approve nor your grandmother." said Jess as she looked at me and put an arm around Ellie.

"I wonder why they won't approve." I said as she just rolled her eyes at me. I noticed Donna was walking our way.

"I'm going to get something to drink meet you up later." I said as I walked away.

~Jess~

Mom didn't even give me a chance to say anything as she just walked away. I noticed Donna was coming our way as so did the kids as they ran over to her. All I wanted to do was go home and take a shower spending the whole day here was a little tiring.

"Hey sorry, tried to get out early."

"It's alright we had fun." I said as I heard several people yelling. What was going on? "Is that my mother?" I asked as I heard her yelling again.

"Is everything alright" I asked mom as Donna grabbed Ellie and Kenny as they just stood next to us.

"No Tristian is missing." she said as I looked at her in disbelief.

"Oswald?" I asked we had seen her earlier but with Karen and Elliot they don't seem as the ones to just let their child out of their sights.

"Yeah they can't find her any where. Common help me look."

"Jess I'm taking them home." said Donna a little worried.

"Alright see you tomorrow" I said to Donna as she walked over to their car. I went over with mom once I knew Donna had gotten to her car safely.

"I think they found her." said mom as I reached her.

"Alright then I'm heading home" I said as I was going to walk to my car as she grabbed my arm stopping me mid way.

"Wait let me check it out with Unser." she said as I went to wait for her by the car as she talked to him. I noticed they had taken Tristan to the hospital as mom walked back over to me.

"What happened?" I asked as mom just stared at me.

"She was raped Jess." she announced as I looked at her. Did I just hear that?

"What?" I asked as I leaned on the car. Unser had walked back to where Elliot and Hale were talking. She was just fourteen, no one should go thru that. I needed to get out of here. "I'm heading home." I said as kissed mom goodbye and headed to my car, I could not stay here any longer I just wanted to be home.

~Happy~

I walked into the house as I looked at Jess as she was sitting on the couch with Killer. When I had called her earlier she sounded off at least she wasn't crying so it was something I could handle. I love her but when she cries that shit is for Gemma or Donna.

"Is this about that kid?" I asked as she just stared at me.

"She is just fourteen Hap." she said as Killer got closer to her. I noticed that she had her gun next to her. Shit.

"Hey forget about all that Jess" I said last thing she needed was for her to think back on the past. I grabbed the gun and put it back in her purse.

"I know it's just, your right. I'm fine" she said as she was going to stand up but instead put her legs up on the couch.

"Common let's go to bed." I said as I picked her up as I walked over to the room as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I don't think I can sleep." she said as I put her on the bed.

"I'm right here with you" I said as I laid down with her and puller her to me as I noticed she held on to me tightly. This was going to be a long night.

~Jess~

I was already on my second cup of coffee as I worked on the work orders, I did not want to spend the day at the house and drive myself crazy. Hap had some Tacoma things he had to take care of with Lorca and Bully.

"Hey you alright, I have been calling you for the past half hour." said mom as she walked into the office as I looked for my phone.

"Yeah I'm.." I grabbed the trash can and threw up before I could tell her I was okay.

"Shit Jessica" said mom as she grabbed me a water bottle.

"I'm alright too much coffee." I said as I sat back down on the chair. I noticed mom was looking at me as if she was trying to figure something out.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she kept her eyes on me.

"Yeah I need to get out of here, I'm going to go see Abel for a while." I said as I grabbed my things and left before she stopped me.

~A~

When I got to the hospital I noticed that Hale was here, so they still had Tristan at the hospital. This was a fucked up world. The people at the hospital had already gotten used to us as we were always visiting Abel, the only one that bothered me was Tara.

"Hey Jessica do you think I could talk to you for a sec?" Was she serious?

"Is it necessary" I asked as I was about to walk into Abel's room." I hated this bitch and well I was not in the mood to talk to her.

"You know I was wondering if you could talk to Wendy. She just got out and well for her not to feel as if she is alone."

"Well she is alone. Why would we want to give her hopes that she has a family supporting her." I said as she made a face. Why did she even cared about her, probably trying to show that she had a bigger heart and was a good person. "I'll see what I can do." I said as I walked over to Wendy's room as Tara stayed behind looking at Abel. I walked into her room as she stopped reading as she noticed I walked into the room.

"Why the hell are you here Jessica?" she asked as she turned off the TV.

"I'm here thanks to your new friend Tara. Getting along are we?" I asked as she just rolled her eyes.

"I didn't say anything to that bitch." said Wendy as she sat up. "So what do you want?"

"Just checking up on you, I heard you almost died yesterday."

"Like if you weren't apart of it. "Your just like your mother, a cold-hearted bitch" she said as I sat on her bed.

"Oh right says the one that almost killed her son." I said as she began to cry. "Stop crying it ain't going to fix anything. The damage is done."

"Yeah I'm surprised you haven't had Happy pay me a visit." she said as she pushed the nurse button.

"No he doesn't waste his time on junkie whores. Watch your back Wendy you hurt my family, next time the cold-hearted bitch won't be here to stop me from killing you." As I walked out I noticed Tara was close by keeping an eye on me. Did she really think I was going to kill her? I went over to visit Abel before she stopped me to talk again.

I sat down on the chair and closed my eyes for a bit, as I heard the door open I opened my eyes to see mom walk in.

"Where were you I was looking for you?" she said as I looked for my phone and noticed that she had been calling me.

"I had an interesting conversation with Wendy."

"Shit Jess you didn't kill her did you?"

"No not yet." I answered as I sat down as mom began to read to Abel. Mom needed to find something to do with her time, she spent all her time here with Abel.

"Have you seen Jax?" she asked as Jax entered the room. Mom was telling him that Wendy was awake, I still didn't know why he defended Wendy.

"Hey I need you." said mom as she stood by the door. That did not sound good, I just got up and went outside with her.

"What is going on?" I asked as Jax went back inside with Abel.

"I need to go talk with Tristian to see if she knows something." I looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Why you, is the club looking for the guy?" I asked as she just nodded as we walked over to her room.

"I'll talk to her." I said I didn't really trust my mother in this situation.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she grabbed my arm.

"Yeah just stay here?" I said as I walked into the room. "Hey Tristan." I said as I hoped she didn't panic nor called her mother as she picked up the phone. "Oh don't" I said gently as she put the phone down unsure of what to do.

"Your Ellie's aunt right?" she asked as she looked at me. She was just a child I hoped the guys find this piece of shit and make him pay.

"Yeah, I just came to talk to you, your mother sent me."

"Why you." she said. She probably knows her mother hates me and I'm probably not a person she would want her daughter to talk to.

"I have gone thru what you are going thru." I said. Shit this was a bad idea, this was not going to help me with Hap.

"She told you, she said it was better for no one to know." she said as she looked at her hands.

"Do you know who it was?" I felt bad for asking, I had to find another way rather than force the information out of her.

"Mom said not to say anything." she said as she kept her eyes on her hands

"I will be right back." I said as I hurried over to the door, I did not want to ask her about it last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. "She wont say who, but maybe you can work the mother who wants to keep this as a secret." I said as mom just nodded her head and walked away. I knew she would be perfect in getting that information.

"Meet you back at Abel's" she called out as she walked away as I closed the door and walked over to Tristian as she looked at me.

"So you have been thru this" she said as she began to tear up. This was a big mistake bringing back all this back.

"Yeah it was someone I knew and thanks to the people that I chose to tell they helped me thru it." I said as I knew I owed my life to Donna and Hap.

"So you get over it, you moved on right?" she asked.

"It becomes apart of you, but it does not define who you are. You don't let it ruin your life even thought you feel unsafe and you don't know what to do next. There will be something that will help you out if you let it."

"Your married right, someone loves you no matter what happened to you?"

"Yeah I have someone, and because of him I'm here and I was able to move on."

"I hope I find someone that won't see me as the one that got attacked." she said as my phone began to ring.

"You will just give it time. I'm going to go, hope you get better."

"Thank you" she said as I left the room before anyone noticed I was in there. I wiped away any evidence that I had cried as I walked over to Abel's room.

"When did we get books?" I asked as Jax was reading to Abel.

"I got them from Louise" he said as he smiled at me as I shook my head.

"Oh of course it had to be a bitch" I said as he laughed as mom knocked on the window.

"Hey read to him he will probably like your voice better than mine." he said as he handed me the book and went outside with mom. I looked at them and then at the book and then to Abel and began to read it wasn't like if I had something else to do.

"So did you get anything?" I asked as I stopped reading and put the book down as mom closed the door.

"Yeah it was one of the clowns at fun town." she said as it made sense that it was one of the carnies.

"How did you get it out of her? Wait don't tell me you killed her?" I said as she smacked my shoulder.

"I wouldn't put it passed you to get what you want."

"I just told her that it was worse when no one knew and that it would end up affecting her more than it

already has. Let alone shit on every relationship she has."

"I'm going home" I said as I grabbed my things as so did mom as we walked out.

"So did Hap head back to Tacoma?" she asked as we left the hospital.

"No Hap is coming back. See you tomorrow." I said as walked over to my car. I looked over my phone and noticed that Donna had not called me all day. I dialed her number and it went unanswered.

~A~

As I arrived at the house I felt a little better than yesterday and this morning, the talk with Tristan had helped. I locked the door and went to my room as Killer followed and joined me on the bed as I grabbed my photo albums.

"Ow" I said as I looked up as I felt something hit my head. "What the hell are you doing? Why are you throwing chocolates at me?" I asked as Hap was standing by the door.

"Making sure it's safe." he answered as he kept throwing them my way.

"So by throwing chocolates at me you figure out my mood, and if something is wrong with me the chocolate will do the trick." I said as I began to throw them back at him. They think they can fix everything with chocolate.

"Yeah" he said as I just smiled at him, only Hap would be able to get away with this.

"Oh that is very romantic of you." I said he joined me on the bed as I wrapped my arms around his shoulder as I kissed him.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	5. Not as good as you

I had noticed several Nomads had arrived, I found out that they were heading out to Nevada for some patch over thanks to mom who at first was worried Jax was going over there but seemed at ease when Clay announced they were all heading out.

I had to find something to do before I went crazy for being here all day. Donna still didn't answer her phone and I went by the house earlier and she was not home.

"Hey how was the ride with Tara?" I asked mom as she entered the office.

"She's alive but for some reason she is carrying."

"How do you know?"

"It was in her purse, I just spotted it."

"Right."

"Jess get your ass over here we are heading out." called out Happy as I closed my eyes I hated runs especially this one.

"I hate Nevada" I announced as I stood up.

"No baby you hate sweetbutts." said mom as she had a point. I walked over to Hap before he leaves without telling me as he was in such a hurry to head out.

"Took you long enough." he said as he put his arm around my waist.

"Hey the whores will be there don't worry" I said as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You know this ain't about pussy." he said as if I was going to believe him.

"Right" I said as I kissed him. I still had a problem with the sweet butts but it was just something I had to deal with and not let it mess with what we had.

"Hey you keep your ass safe." he called out as I walked away.

"Alright I love you." I said as I let him go as I was going to go talk with Clay before he left.

"Hey Princess" called out Bully as I walked passed him.

"Hey Bully" I said as he pulled me into a hug. "Hows Sparkles?"

"Good wants to see you before Kathie arrives."

"Yeah I'm heading over there to go see her in a couple of days." I said as Clay called me over. "So Kathie huh?" I asked as he just shook his head.

"Hey at least she is not calling her mini Sparkles" he called out as I reached Clay.

"Hey you better stay out of trouble, you and your mother." he said as I put an arm around him. Why do I have to have this conversation all the time. Mess up one time when they were on a run and they think they have to tell you every time they leave town.

"We will try, it's not like if we go out there looking for trouble."

"I know both of you and how you get when you are alone." he said as he looked at me.

"Still can't make any promises." I said as I smiled at him as I kissed his cheek.

"I mean it Jess" he said as he pointed a finger at me.

"Alright stay safe." I said as I walked over to mom who already knew what he was telling me.

"They are not going to call us." announced mom as I stood next to her.

"Nope." I said as I went to go get my things. It was the same thing every time we ended up worrying until they called us, but sometimes no news was better than bad news. I noticed Tig was pouting as the guys left.

"Are you alright Tig?" I asked as he was pouting in the garage as I put an arm around him as he just glared at everybody.

"I'm going to miss out on all the young tight pussy at Jury's stable." I just figured out that this was not helping out matters with the sweetbutts.

"Just the things I wanted to hear." I said as I moved away from him I should have known better than to worry about Tig when all he is worried about was pussy, Clay will probably make it up to him later. I walked over to my car as I saw Donna arrive.

"Hey I've been calling you all day." I said as she got out as I leaned on my car as she walked over to me.

"Hey sorry I have been busy." she looked tired she was probably over working herself but never wanted to accept any help from anyone.

"Too busy to answer your phone." I said as I saw mom looking our way.

"I've picked up extra shifts at work that's all." I knew it, Jax had told me that Opie was also working over time.

"You need anything?" I asked knowing she was not going to accept my help.

"No we can do this on our own." she said as her phone began to ring and she ignored it.

"Donna I can help" I suggested as she knew.

"Yeah I know, but it's just the way it has to be."

"I could take care of the kids" I said as I didn't mind spending time with Ellie.

"No my mom has them, I'll call you later." she said as I knew she was hiding something and I knew this involved something with her mother. I walked back to the office since I was planning on heading over to Donna but she had other plans.

"Everything alright with you and Donna?" mom asked as I passed by her.

"No ever since Opie has been out our relationship has began to go down." I said as I sat down.

"She never accepted the club, and face it Jess your part of the club."

"Our relationship has never involved the club mom."

"Hey about the book that Jax found, do you know anything about it?"

"No only that it's about the club and it's dedicated to Jax and Tommy." I said as mom nodded. "Did dad ever show it to you?" I asked as mom looked interested on what I was saying.

"No not that I remember, is Jax going to let you see it after he is done?"

"Why would I want to read it." I said it wasn't even dedicated to me so why would I be interested it in it.

"Well because your father wrote it."

"I'm not interested, I think I'm going home and find something to do." I knew what I wanted to do since Hap was not going to be home and no one was going to bother me at all.

~A~

When I got home I turned on the tv and grabbed my computer as Killer joined me on the couch as Midnight came inside since it began to rain. After a couple of hours I realized online shopping was really boring since you don't really feel like if you were shopping. I was still not tired and had nothing to do so I grabbed my phone and dialed mom's phone.

"Where are you?" I asked since I did not want to be alone and was either going to go to see Abel or be with mom since Donna wasn't an option.

"At the house you coming over?"

"Yeah" I said as I grabbed a sweater and my keys as I walked out. It was just drizzling now as I got in the car and headed over to mom's.

~A~

When I arrived at mom's it began to rain so I parked closer to the kitchen door and ran inside. "Hey thought you would be at Abel's." I said as I walked over to the table taking off my sweater.

"Oh were you at the hospital?" she asked as I noticed she had her guns out, but for what I still had no idea why yet.

"No I did some online shopping." I said as I noticed she had been busy cleaning her guns.

"I thought Hap banned you from online shopping."

"That's what he gets for not calling me, what he doesn't know won't hurt him." I said as mom just looked at me. "What someone else needs your assistance?" I asked to change the subject of my addiction to shopping to her guns.

"Just helping out the good doctor."

"Why would she need a new gun?" I asked as I began to wonder why was she carrying in the first place then I remembered I didn't care.

"I have Luann checking some things on her." she said as I should have already known.

"Of course you do" I said as I was getting bored I should really head home and call it a day. "I'm going to head out mom" I said as I grabbed my things and looked for my keys.

"No more shopping Jess" said mom as I kissed her and headed to the door.

"Hey maybe we can go one of these days to Lodi. I think I need some new shoes" I went to the kitchen before she threw something at me.

"Jess what are you going to do?" asked mom before I closed the door.

"I'm going home and cuddle with Killer waiting for the love of my life to call me" I said as I smiled over at you.

"He won't call." called out mom as I closed the door. Yeah I already knew that.

~A~

When I arrived at the house I was thinking about taking a bath as it was barely past twelve. I was about to grab my clothes as I heard Tig yelling in the living room. I really need my keys back.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked Tig as he was glaring Juice as he smiled over at me.

"Patch me up Jess none of the bitches know what they are doing." said Tig as he began unbuckling his jeans as he stood there in my living room.

"I don't even know what happened." I said as I began to laugh with Juice as Tig lowered his jeans and turned around.

"Hey if you continue to fucking laugh I'll start talking about all the pussy Hap gets on runs." he said as I just glared at him and crossed my arms he could get infected for all I cared.

"Alright fuck sorry just do it without laughing. It fucking hurts." he said as looked at me. I just ended up helping him even though I was going to find a way to get back at him.

~The Next Day~

"I think I'm getting my nails done" I told mom as I text Luann to see if she wanted to go with me.

"So Tig and Juice showed up at your house last night."

"Yeah he got bit on the ass by a Doberman all thanks to Juice." I said as mom turned to look at me as I just laughed.

"Gemma the car is ready." announced Lowell as he stood outside the door.

"What are you up to mom?"

"Nothing." she said as I already knew what she was up to.

"If she doesn't ask for help don't offer it." I called out as she stepped out.

"Yeah you should keep that in mind when it comes to Donna." responded mom as Luann agreed to go with me and get our nails done. I grabbed my things as I told her to meet me at the salon, it was just what I needed.

"I will be back in a few." I said to Piney as he entered the office. I was not going to leave anyone in charge, they could manage on their own since it was a slow day, and well we always had Piney here.

"Hey who is going to take care of the shop?" asked Piney as I left the office.

"Dog" I said as I got into the car, mom should be here before everything went to hell. I tried Donna's cell and it went straight to voice mail.

~A~

I headed over to her house and no one was home. What was going on and what was she not telling me?

"Hey I've been waiting for you" said Luann as I arrived at the salon.

"Sorry had to check up on Donna." I said as I locked my car and walked over to where she was standing.

"How is she, your mother told me you two were fighting?"

"We are not fighting, we never fight we just don't agree on somethings. Do you and my mother talk about everything."

"Yeah" she said as I noticed mom was coming our way.

"Well here she comes." I said as she turned to see her.

"Stupid bitch." said mom as she reached us.

"I'm guessing time with Tara was not good" I don't know what mom is up to with Tara, Jax will always end up doing what he wants. One example he married Wendy when mom an I told him it was not a good idea.

"She thinks shes better than me, I know why she is here."

"Jax" both me and Luann said at the same time.

"Who's at the shop?

"Piney." I said as me and Luann walked into the salon if she thought she was going to ruin my day she was mistaken I needed a day off to relax. Maybe I was just bored and needed something to do.

"Common before I have to get back to the warehouse" said Luann as we all walked in. Sometimes I preferred Luann over mom, but there were times when I just needed my mother but today I prefer them both and I just missed Donna.

"I'm going to Tacoma in a few days." I told mom since I had already made plans with Hap the other day and if I tell her the exact day I'm leaving she is going to be pissed.

"What?"

"Just to go visit Sparkles don't panic mother" I said as I closed my eyes for a bit as my phone began to ring. "It's Piney" I said as I stared at my phone.

"I'm already on my way" I lied as he began yelling at me. "You know what just close the shop wasting more money to keep it open." I said as I hung up.

"Jess you do know the meaning of half owner right?" mom asked as she looked over at me.

"That I can make the decisions when the other owner is not here." I said she was the one that thought it was a great idea to give me the shop, now she had to deal with my decisions.

~A~

After spending half the day with mom and Luann being at the house was more relaxing than the massage I got today.

I went to visit Abel then headed home as mom said she was going to stay there for a while. I kept playing with the phone, thinking about who I should call and it was getting frustrating. I dialed Hap's phone as I walked into the living room as I heard a phone ringing as the front door opened.

"How was Nevada?" I asked as I sat down as he closed the door and removed his cut.

"Not as good as you." he said as he joined me on the couch as I just shook my head and turned on the television. As he leaned forward to kiss me I moved away from him as he put an arm around me as he held me against him.

"Hap your not getting anything." I said as I tried to push him off me as he grabbed my hands and held them above my head.

"I'll call next time."

"Right"

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	6. Blessed and Revelations

I was stuck taking care of the booth with Luann, as we pretended to be civil with mom who was part of the Taste Of Charming committee. I seem to be always stuck with Luann at these things but thankfully I had something else to do today and was not going to stay here all day.

I missed Donna and it felt as if we were going our separate ways, we had a better relationship when I was in Tacoma. We would have to talk one of these days rather than just ignore each others calls all day. We both know that we are at our worst when we don't talk to each other.

"I can't believe your heading out when I need you." said mom as I looked over at Luann. She had everyone helping her out as always, the only lucky one was Clay who had refused to come and Piney who stayed at the garage.

"Mom I'm here I woke up early to help you. What more do you want for me?" I had already helped her out all day yesterday and she woke me up early probably to make up for the time that I was leaving.

"I just don't know why you have to go to Tacoma" she said here we go again.

"I want to be there for Sparkles." I said, it's not like if I had just decided I was going this morning I had told her the other day.

"Oh right forgot about your little friends Sparkles and Linda." she said as she did not hide her discomfort of me being friends with Linda and Sparkles.

"The guys are here" I said as mom went over to attack Bobby for being late as I looked over at Jax talking to... "What the fuck is he doing here?" I asked as mom came back and stood next to me as Jax held Kyle against the wall.

"It's for April and the kids." she said as if it was nothing that this asshole was in Charming.

"Who decided it was alright for him to be here?"

"The club just drop it Jess." she said as Jax joined us as I glared over at Kyle. He was the one responsible for all the shit Donna was going thru and there he was like if he didn't do anything.

"Hey forget about him, he's dead" said Jax as he put an arm around me.

"No he is still breathing the same air as me." I said as Jax agreed with me.

"He's not dead to Opie." said mom as we looked over at Opie who looked out of it.

"I'll deal with Opie." said Jax as he let me go and walked away.

"What they should have done is killed him and we wouldn't have to see his sorry ass again."

"Hey calm down, that shit wouldn't fix anything Opie would of still done time."

"Calm down my ass" I said as mom gave me the paper plates.

"Donna's here" said Luann as she grabbed the plates from me.

"Why are you both acting like children?" asked mom as I looked over at Donna as she was with Ellie.

"We are just not talking to each other apparently" I said as I was about to get some towels when mom stopped me.

"Well you're both looking at each other as if it is lost love, kind of freaking me out here. Go deal with that shit before I kill both of you." she said as she let me go and I walked over to where Donna was.

"Hey" I said as I sat next to her. "So we going to talk about what the hell is going on?"

"I want Opie out Jess." she said as she kept her eyes on Kenny as I sat down next to her.

"Donna it will be easier if you just accept the fact that he belongs in the club. It's who he is, it's not going to work out with him out."

"I'm not you Jess you love the club you get it, I will never love it or accept it. The only thing I want in my life is my kids safe and Opie nothing else matters anymore." she said as she stood up as I stared at the cup in my hands.

~Donna~

I walked over to where Kenny was as I looked over at Jess, getting Opie away from the club meant all the ties with people involved with the club had to be cut.

Jess has always been about the club ever since I knew her, I guess I didn't see it until I found out what the club really does it destroys lives just rips them apart.

Starting with Gemma who manipulates the whole family, they all lie to each other and they all pretend they protect each other and promote their bullshit value of family when they can't even seem to trust each other. It was going to be hard but I was done with all of them and so was Opie, it had to be done for our family.

~Jess~

Maybe my mother was right, but since when had Donna seen me apart of the club. The the club has never been a problem in our friendship, I always put Donna ahead of the club.

We were sisters and nothing ever got between us, we just worked everything out. Since when was my mother right?

"Hey" said Hap as he stood in front of me. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing" He knew something was up but I was not in the mood to talk about it.

"Common lets go." said Hap as I got off the table.

"Mom I have to go." I said as I as I gave her a quick kiss as she began complaining over how Clay had taken all her man power and I was leaving her. I Just went and told Luann a quick goodbye before mom had a meltdown in front of me.

"Are you not going to let Donna know you are leaving?" he asked as I walked back to him.

"Why if I don't even matter to her." I said as I put and arm around him as we walked over to his bike.

"I'm not even going to deal with that right now." he said as we headed to the clubhouse where I had left my things.

~A~

None of the guys seem to have been at the clubhouse when we arrived, I noticed Kyle was sitting at the bar drinking a beer. This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Hey Hap, Jess" he said as I looked over at Piney as Hap pushed me over to the rooms without saying anything.

"Kyle's dead Jess" he said as we walked into the room.

"No apparently he is sitting at the bar." I said as I grabbed the bag as Hap moved behind me.

"It's club shit Jess."

"I know but the club was not the only one that suffered for what that asshole did." I said as I got everything ready.

"Hey he will get what he deserves." he said. So there was a reason why he was here, now I wanted to know what they were going to do to him. "Let's head out". Hap said as he grabbed the bag as I left the room.

"Where are you heading out to?" asked Piney as I went over to tell him I was leaving.

"To Tacoma for a day or two." I answered as he put an arm around me as Kyle kept an eye on us.

"Clay know?"

"Yeah" I said as Hap had finished talking to Opie about something. "I always need to let everyone know where I''m going to go." I said as I gave him a kiss and headed over to Hap.

"Take care of her Hap" he said as we walked out. The guys still hadn't arrived as we walked over to Hap's bike.

"He still has his club tats." Hap said as I got on behind him. I didn't say anything as I wrapped my hands around him as he took off.

Mom was right no matter what happened to Kyle, Opie still did the time nothing would change that. I hated Kyle for what he did, but April and the kids had to go thru somethings too.

Everyone ends up suffering over club shit. I closed my eyes as I tightened my hold on Hap as we passed the Charming sign.

~A~

I think I still felt the wind hitting me as we had arrived at the clubhouse, I held on to Hap as I got off the bike. I loved visiting Linda and Sparkles but riding all the way here was something I was not very fond of.

"I'm going to look for the girls." I said as Hap stayed by the ring watching Bully with one of the prospects. I walked into the clubhouse as I tried to make my way over to the bar I spotted Linda.

"Hey if it isn't Samcro's princess." said Linda as I walked over to her. After all these years of knowing how I hate it when she calls me princess she still does it and I think she will never stop.

"Shit you are still not replaced?"

"I'm untouchable." she said as I hugged her as we started laughing. "I missed you" she said as if it had been that long that I hadn't come to Tacoma.

"Where's Sparkles?" I asked Linda as she let me go.

"Ashley went to pick her up, they should be here in a bit." I liked Ashley she was nothing like Linda, you could really tell that she did not grow up with all the guys and was not fond of the lifestyle.

"Alright let's go outside I need fresh air" I said as the sweetbutts just stared at us. We walked over to the table as Bully was finishing up his fight.

"So you and Hap doing good?" asked Linda as I looked over at Hap as he was standing with Kozik. We were doing alright, but for some reason I was getting tired of the road whores.

"Yeah everything is good." I said as Linda looked at me, I hate how sometimes she can figure me out when something was wrong.

It was just not the same in talking to the other old ladies when they have already accustomed to the club's excuse that the guys were allowed to fuck on a run and acted as if they were fine unless it showed up in their clubhouse.

"So you guys figured it out if your moving back or is he transferring to Charming?" she asked as I looked over at the ring.

"No." I said as I still did not know what I wanted to do. One day I wanted to just come to Tacoma and be done with Charming but then I couldn't bring my self to leave.

"Well you know you can always come back to Tacoma." she said as Hap walked over to us as he took his cut off.

"Are you sure you can take him?" I asked as I smiled up at him as Kozik was getting in the ring.

"That's not what my woman should say." he said as he gave me a kiss.

"Kick his ass." I said as he walked away.

"They all hate you princess." said Linda as Hap walked away as the sweetbutts glared at us.

"Don't they hate all of us."

"True." she said as she lit up a cigarette.

"Hey finally" I said as Sparkles walked over to us. I got off the table as I went over to hug her. "I missed you"

"Don't make me cry, I missed you too. If I wasn't like this I would have dragged Linda over to Charming." she said as we sat back down.

~A~

After catching up with the girls we all headed our separate ways since we still had tomorrow to catch up Hap had followed me to the room as I already wanted to call it a night.

Hap was taking off his boots as I sat on the bed and took off my shoes. I hated this room but for right now I was really tired and I was not going to care as I closed my eyes as I heard knocking.

"Jess, Sparkles needs us" said Linda as I put my shoes back on as I grabbed a jacket and headed outside.

"I can't do this again" I said as Linda grabbed me as we followed Sparkles to the car.

"Oh your acting as if you never seen a women in labor." said Linda as we got in the car. This was going to be a long night.

~Linda~

We had been here all night at the hospital, I looked over at Jess as she was asleep on a couch as the guys arrived.

We had all taken turns with Sparkles, Jess stayed awake with her. When she came out of the room she was talking to me as I read the magazine as she sat down and I noticed she had not said anything in awhile when I noticed Jess had passed out.

Hap went over to sit with her as she moved closer to him as he put an arm around her. At first I thought Jess was not for Hap, but after some time I knew she was made for Hap.

After we waited a while Jess's phone began to ring. "Mom" Jess answered her phone without even looking at the caller id."What arrived?" she asked as she opened her eyes and sat up.

"Well I don't know I just ordered some things, I just knew he wasn't going to get used things" she said as Hap was looking at her. We all knew Jess had a shopping problem, she was dangerous with money.

"It wasn't that much" she said to Hap glared at her as she smiled at him.

"Alright yes I will call you later." she said as hanged up. "Have I told you how much I love you" Jess said to Hap as he got up and shook his head no as he grabbed her hand and walked out of the waiting room.

~A~

I looked up as I heard Kozik laughing as he entered the waiting room, Jess and Hap had not been back yet. When I noticed Kozik was way to excited this morning, and I knew it wasn't for Sparkles as I saw Hap and Jess walking behind him.

"I wonder why the nurses keep looking our way" said Kozik as Jess sat down as she looked as if she was blushing. "Maybe they know something we don't know" he added as Jess just grabbed a magazine and began to read as I noticed several nurses were still staring at her. "I don't know but maybe hospitals have cameras in their elevators. What do you think Jess?" asked Kozik as he winked at Jess.

"Oh " said Jess as she shrugged her shoulders and began to laugh as Ashley came out of Sparkles room announcing we could now see Sparkles and Kathie.

"Finally." said Bully as we all walked in.

Everyone was in Sparkles's room as we all congratulated her and welcomed Kathie to the family. I turned over to see Jess as she was sitting down as she carried Kathie, the way she was looking at the baby I saw the look and maybe it was her time now even though she would probably deny it.

I noticed that Hap didn't take his eyes of Jess, he loved her and gave her anything but a child may not be something for Hap. Well who knows he got an old lady and married her.

"Yeah um here" said Jess as the look went away as Kathie cried as she handed the baby over to Sparkles.

~Jess~

Almost half a night and all day in the hospital was not the way I had imagined spending time in Tacoma to be.

Hap opened the room as I took off the sweater and followed him inside. I took off my shoes and was getting ready to go the bed as Hap turned on the lights.

"Shit Ow." I said as I I stubbed my toe on the corner of the bed. "Fucking shit" I said as I sat on the bed as I held my foot as Hap just looked at me and smirked. "Asshole" I said as I threw a pillow at him.

"Jess the fucking light was on, only you get hurt." he said as I ignored him. "Common I know what can take the pain away" he said he unbuckled his pants as I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah me too sleep." I said as I moved back where the pillows were as he got on the bed and moved on top of me.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked as I gave him a kiss as he rubbed my toe.

"Hap I want to go somewhere, like just you and me for awhile" I said as I put my arms under his shoulders as I gave him quick kiss.

I knew it wasn't possible with the club, but it wouldn't hurt to go on a little vacation.

"Where?"

"I don't know just visit some place."

"Well see what happens go to sleep Jess"

As I laid on his chest I can't believe I was thinking about this maybe it was because of Kathie because I never felt like this with Kenny nor Ellie. Was I ready for a kid, were we ready for a kid? I knew Hap didn't want kids but if I was changing my mind on that maybe he can too.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked as I looked up at him as he put an arm around me as I moved closer to him.

"I think I want a baby." I said as Hap moved his arm away from me. Fuck this would have been a better conversation if I talked with Donna first. Why did I just fucking say that?

"We said no kids Jess, this shit ain't for me. I'm not one to raise a fucking kid."

"It's alright Hap, just forget I brought it up." I said as I wanted him to just shut up. I knew I was going to start crying over something that was not even worth it.

"Jess"

"No forget it your right" I said as I turned my back on him and closed my eyes as I felt the tears coming.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	7. Used and Needed

Closing my eyes as the water hit my body hoping to enjoy this time to myself as the run had not cleared my head as I had thought it was.

Hap was still asleep when I returned from my run which was a good thing right now. We had just returned from Tacoma last night, and we had been avoiding each other these past few days.

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel as Hap entered the restroom, as I walked out he slammed the door. I got dressed and walked over to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Hap asked as he walked into the kitchen as I turned on the coffee machine.

"I'm going to go take care of the shop" I said as he sat down at the table. "You want breakfast?"

"Are we going to talk about this?"

"We already did, just forget about it." I suggested as I wanted all of this to be over.

"Jessica" Hap yelled as I got up and walked over to the door as I heard someone knocking.

"No just fucking drop it." I said as Hap followed me, before he grabbed my arm I opened the door as we both stopped as we saw agents outside.

"Jessica Teller Lowman, Agent Stahl, A.T.F." said one of the agents as she moved in front of me. Now what. "We already have Mr. Morrow in custody all we need is you Ms. Lowman."

"What the fuck for?" asked Hap as he stood in front of me as Hale moved forward.

"We want to know your relationship with Nate Meineke." she said as I began to think who the hell he was. Hap didn't seem to know him shit I didn't even know that guy. "Nate Meineke who held up a prison transport vehicle, is responsible for the 3 people that were killed by AK-47s this morning." she stated as I looked over at Hale.

"What the hell does that have to do with me?"

"His cell phone was at the crime scene, and the last call he received was from your shop" she said as Hale moved towards me and handcuffed me. Fucking perfect.

When I arrived at the station, I noticed they had Clay was being held also, he got up as I walked passed his room as they put me in a room with Fain. I sat down as he removed the cuffs. Now that I think of it I should really sell my half of the damn shop.

"Fain what the hell is going on?" I asked as I heard a familiar voice yelling. "Is that my mother" I got up as I saw my mother fighting with Clay over something.

"Your mother attacked someone with a skateboard." he answered as I just shook my head.

"Shit." I said as I sat back down it was just one of those days.

"Well it looks like a family reunion at the station." said Stahl as she entered the room. Hopefully Jax and the club was working this shit, I was not going to go down for the club well I hope not. Fucking shit.

"What do you want from me?" I asked as I turned my attention to her.

"Your very much involved in this club Jessica, your brother, stepfather and husband all apart of the Sons of Anarchy and they all seem to have a rap sheet for gun running even though they all claim to be mechanics and motorcycle enthusiasts. You should really have made a better choice in associating with criminals and gun runners."

"I work the office, I don't know what goes on with club business and even if I did none of their shit pertains to me." I said as she just looked at me. Where do they find these people that think they can get something out of us.

"Doesn't matter darling whatever is in that garage belongs to you and Clay Morrow." she said as I realized the guys were expecting Juice today.

Maybe mom was right sometimes I need to know what the hell is going on with the club. "We will see how it will affect you later Ms. Lowman I will make sure to talk to you after I come back from raiding the garage." she said as she left the room.

This bitch probably had a warrant for the club. I just met her and I hated her with a passion.

"You need anything?" asked Fain as he walked into the room. I just shook my head no as I stared at the wall.

~Gemma~

"Hey criminal." said Jess as she sat down in front of the cell as Fain walked away as she smiled at me.

"The feds grilling you too?"

"What do you think? So I heard you went a little crazy with a skateboard " she said as she tried not to laugh.

"I'm glad my fuck up amuses you." I said as she laid down on the floor, something was up with her.

"I think only you would attack someone with a skateboard on main street in the middle of the day."

"Yeah I'll remind you when a tart come here looking for Happy."

"I think I will do more than just assault."

"I'll help you out with the tart." I said even though she probably wouldn't need it.

"I think I can take any blond tart that shows up here, might need help with Hap though."

"I have you back Jess. You know that right."

"I know mom, hey why don't you want to be bailed out?"

"I need some time alone so you never told me how was Tacoma."

"Oh it was bad I told Hap I was thinking about kids." she said as she sat up.

"Shit" I said as I wondered what the hell did Hap say.

"You know what sucks" she said as she stayed on the floor looking at the ceiling. Jess was having a melt down, this is what tends to happen when she and Donna don't talk to each other. "It wasn't like if I said that I wanted one right now, I was thinking about it as in I am not sure. Am I not allowed to think?"

"Wait Jess you said you weren't ready." I said as she stood up.

"I know I'm not and Hap doesn't want kids so I'll just learn to live with it. You sure you don't want me to bail you out?" she asked as I noticed Clay walked in.

"No I'm fine baby go home."

"Your prince Charming is waiting for you outside baby girl" Clay told Jess as she kissed him as she walked passed him.

"I should go get rid of him before my asshole gets here" she said as she walked out. Hopefully Hap changes his mind one of these days.

~Jess~

I noticed that the station was now alone as I walked outside, I hope Clay would convince mom to go home and not spend the night in jail.

Hap was looking at the street as I left the station, we would have to talk about this even though he already decided what he wanted.

"Ready to go?" he asked without looking at me as I reached his bike.

"Yeah" I said as he turned around as he handed me a helmet as I grabbed it I gave him a kiss. "I love you" I said as I put my helmet and got on behind him.

~A~

When we arrived at the house I didn't want to go inside yet so I sat down on the steps as Hap sat next to me, I leaned on him as Midnight joined us as she chose to lay on Hap's legs.

"You want to talk about it?" he said as he passed me his cigarette.

"Hap the decision is already made. "If it's for us it will happen, if not I can just spoil everyone's kids." I said as I passed the cigarette back.

"I'm going Nomad." he stated as I looked over at him.

"You made that decision on your own." I said as I was pissed since I could not make a decision without him bitching about it, but he could even after he told me he was going to transfer to Charming.

Nomad was worse than him being in Tacoma.

"It's club shit."

"Hap this is more than club shit. Why can't you just transfer to Charming or at least talk to me about this before you decide?"

"I already talked it over with Quinn, it's done."

"Well maybe next time you can remember your married to me not Quinn" I said as I walked into the house.

~A couple of days later~

After Hap had told me he had gone Nomad he left to Tacoma to get voted to be released. I had stayed at the house and spent time with Neeta as I was in the mood to redecorate the house.

Mom had called me and told me that they were going to take Abel out of the incubator so we could finally carry him so I was planning on meeting her at the hospital.

"Hey baby what the hell is going on with you know?" she asked as I walked into the room.

"Hap is going Nomad." I said as I sat down.

"What?" asked mom as she yelled. Yeah Nomad was never a good thing and it was probably going to make things worse.

"Yeah I know it's fucked up."

"Why didn't you stop him?"

"He didn't even talk to me about it, he just made the decision on his own."

"It was bad enough that he was in Tacoma and you were here, now him going Nomad where did all this come from."

"I have no fucking idea." I said as Jax walked in mom was probably still mad at him over the Tara and Kohn situation. As mom and Jax were talking I received a text from Linda letting me know Hap's Nomad vote passed.

"Let's go" said mom as she got up and Jax stayed in the room. When was Abel getting out of the incubator?

~A~

We sat in the waiting room as we waited for Luann apparently mom was going to see if Luann would be able to lend the club cash as they needed it by tonight.

When Luann arrived she and mom got in a discussion over the amount of money, I tuned them out as I kept talking with Linda until I heard mom call Luann a greedy whore.

"Mom was that really necessary" I said as I watched Luann leave the waiting room. She just threatened Luann like nothing and mom was like if it was a normal thing.

"Hey when it comes to the club needing something nothing gets in my way." she said as I just grabbed my things and walked away from her. I went over to my car and went to Luann's to go check up on her.

~A~

"Hey" I said as Luann was in her office looking over some things.

"She just called me a greedy whore, it's my money Jess"

"The club will pay you back, and well with mom you know how crazy she gets when it comes to club business."

"Do you even know why they need the money?"

"No but it must be really important if they are asking" I said as I sat down.

"How are you and Donna?"

"We haven't talked since the taste from Charming, she wants Opie out and I guess I'm not part of her new plan."

"When will she learn that he is never leaving the club?"

"Well Opie has been at the clubhouse all this week, I don't know how her plan of keeping him from the club is working."

"You should call her." she said as Piney called me. I answered as he told me that we had to order some parts and he had no business ordering them.

"I have to go, Piney needs me at the shop" I said as I kissed her goodbye and grabbed my things and headed outside.

~A~

When I got to the garage I noticed that it was closed, what were they hiding this time. I walked into the office and was about to sit down when I noticed what they were trying to hide. You have go to be kidding me.

"Why is there an ambulance here?" I asked as I walked out of the office to the garage.

"Yeah um" said half sack as I looked over at Chibs.

"My idiot prospect" he said as I just shook my head and walked back to the office. Who would think stealing an ambulance was a smart thing to do.

"Don't worry Chibs is getting rid of it." said Clay as I filled out the paper work.

"Alright" I said as he sat down. "Everything alright?" I asked as he stared at me.

"How are you and Hap doing?" he asked as I was now used to everyone asking me about it but never Clay which was a little different. He probably knew that Hap was going Nomad.

"Good" I said as mom had arrived at the club. We both walked over to her as Jax joined us.

"Abel is getting out of the incubator right now." said mom as she told me to get in the car as Jax walked over to his bike.

"It was about time" I said as I got in mom's car.  
>"You talked to Luann?" she asked as I put on the seat belt as she drove to the hospital as Jax followed us.<p>

"Yeah she understands it's important."

"For some reason I feel that something is going to go down with the club" said mom out of nowhere, after so many times her feelings turned out true I took them seriously.

"Clay on his way to do something?" I asked as we arrived at the hospital

"Yeah going to have a drink with an Irishmen." she said as I hoped everything turned out okay with that arrangement.

~Tara~

As we left Jax alone with Abel as Gemma and Jessica sat outside, at first I was surprised Gemma left Jax side as she seemed to be on him every time he was near her.

Jessica seemed to confide a lot on Gemma, who probably will end up using it against her. I haven't really talked to Jessica that much, not that we used to be friends but lately she was having a lot of problems with Happy according to what she and Gemma were talking about.

I was shocked when Jax told me that she was married to Happy, I knew that he wanted something by the way he used to act around her but I never expected them to get married.

Jessica seemed to have Gemma qualities but I knew she was different she seemed more understanding and not as cold as Gemma. Jessica had left Charming and look at her now just like me she is back, you may never be able to leave this place.

~Jess~

After Jax had to go back to the clubhouse we went back into Abel's room as we were finally able to carry him. I picked him up first as mom sat down and watched me.

"Finally he looks exactly like Jax." I said as I sat down as he didn't even start crying or anything just looked at me with those blue eyes. Fucking Happy.

"I know right he looks just like him."

"Look at him he doesn't even cry. He is a perfect little baby." I said as Tara and mom looked at me and then to each other. "Oh why are you so cute and perfect."

"Alright hand him over before you decide to have one without Hap" said mom as I refused to pass Abel to her.

"Okay yeah this is a bad idea." I said as I handed him over to mom before I made things worse for me. "I'm going to be outside" I said as I grabbed my purse and left the room. As I lit a cigarette and sat down on the bench as my phone began to ring.

"Hey" I said as I answered the phone.

"What are you up to?"

"At the hospital they just took him out of the incubator you should see him he is perfect."

"That's good."

"Yeah, so I heard the vote passed." I said as I tried to sound as if I was okay with it.

"It's good for both of us and mom also." he said as mom walked out of the hospital.

"I'll call you later, heading over to the club."

"I'll be expecting your call."

"Alright love you." I said as I hung up and followed mom to the car.

I was not really in the mood to talk and thankfully mom noticed as she left me alone as I just stared out the window.

~A~

When we arrived at the clubhouse we noticed there was a commotion at the garage, as we walked into the garage we noticed someone was screaming in pain in the ambulance.

"Everybody alright?" I asked as Chibs worked on the Irishman.

"Yeah" answered Clay as he sounded calm over all that they had seemed to half gone thru.  
>"What can we do asked mom?" as I kept my eyes inside the ambulance this was not good. Wait did Clay said we were having a full house, Hap probably is already on his way.<p>

"Let's go Jess" said mom.

This was going to be a long night.

~The Next Day~

As we were sitting at the clubhouse, I kept trying not to fall asleep as I was already on my third cup of coffee and mom was driving everyone crazy as she kept asking where the hell Jax was.

If any one asked me I think he was at Tara's and mom knew as well. Piney and Opie left to go check the hospital as Clay wanted mom to stay at the clubhouse as Unser arrived at the clubhouse to take Clay in.

This may be my chance to actually sleep as I know mom is not going to stay put. As mom left I went over to check up on Juice and Chibs to see if they need anything.

"Hey you guys need anything?" I asked as I entered the chapel.

"Stay with Juice" said Chibs as he walked out as I noticed where Juice's hand was.

"Is your finger in his ass?" I said as I tried not to laugh and failed.

"Jess it's not in his ass" he said as he tried to play it off.

"Right" I said as I walked out of there as I knew I was not going to be any help as Chibs walked back in there as Jax walked into the clubhouse.

~Happy~

I walked into the room as I put the bag on the drawer as I noticed Jess was asleep. I walked over to the bed as I sat down and leaned into the bed frame as I watched her sleep. I moved her hair from her face, even in her sleep she moves toward my touch.

"Rough night?" I asked as she opened her eyes and looked at me, she probably didn't even sleep last night.

"Yeah, I just found the time to sleep even though I didn't think I was going to sleep with all the caffeine in my system." she said as she sat up.

"So you still got some energy left for me?" I asked as she just smiled and shook her head as she moved over to me, I fucking missed her.

She straddled me and removed her shirt I moved my hands over her stomach and cupped her breasts as she leaned down and kissed me.

Her hands were on the bed frame as she rode me, I gripped her hips as she looked down at me as smiled as I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to me for a kiss. I raised my hips which caused her to let out a moan as she closed her eyes. I couldn't fucking live without her crazy ass.

~Jess~

"I missed you." I said as I laid on his chest as someone began knocking.

"Hap were at the table." called out Tig as he banged on the door. I moved off him as I began to dress up he got up and grabbed his jeans and put on his cut.

"I missed you too." he said as he kissed me and left the room. I sat back down on the bed, I'm not really in the mood for anything as I am still missing sleep.

I grabbed my keys and locked the room I knew where I had to go and I was going to make her listen to me, by this time without talking to her I was going a little crazy.

~A~

I arrived at Donna's house and grabbed my keys as I noticed the house did not have any lights on. I walked in and went straight to the kitchen and looked on the fridge as she normally would put where she was off too and there was nothing.

"Where the hell are you Donna" I locked the house and headed back to my car. I grabbed my phone and decided to call her as it went straight to voice mail. I decided to head over to the hospital to go visit Abel and clear my head.

~A~

When I got to Abel's room mom is already there as of always, I turned off the sound on my phone so that I wouldn't disturb Abel who was not even asleep as I had thought as I saw him with mom.

"Hey decided to stop by since I was went looking for Donna at her house." I said as I sat down as mom walked over to me.

"Well she was at the clubhouse to confront Opie while you were asleep."

"Oh" I said as mom placed Abel in my arms and handed me the bottle.

"You and Hap settled everything for now?"

"Yeah"

"He can't do no wrong in your eyes." said mom. "Yeah I have been there" said mom as she walked out as Abel began drinking his bottle as I rocked the chair.

I was a little surprised that Abel didn't fuss over anything he was just drinking his bottle as he looked at me. I felt someone looking at me as I looked up I noticed Hap was standing outside.

He walked over to the door as he walked in closing the door slowly as he tried not to make that much noise.

"Gemma told me you were here." he said as he leaned on the wall as he looked at me.

"Yeah needed to clear my mind" I said as Abel fell asleep. He was probably going to be just like Jax.

"Haven't talked to Donna yet?" he asked as I looked at him and shook my head no as I stood up as I put Abel down.

"Let's go home" I said as I grabbed my things as he put an arm around me as we left the room.

~A~

I awoke as I heard Hap around the room, I opened my eyes as and removed the covers and noticed he was getting ready to leave.

"Leaving me to be a churro seller." I said as I sat up in bed and watched him get dressed.

"Right like if I could support your ass on a churro's salary"

"True." I said as he walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

"Alright I love you." he said as my heart almost stopped. What the hell?

"Don't do that." I said as I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Jess"

"You scare me when you say it like that, you know you only say it when your going to do shit on your own." I said as I let him go.

"Hey don't worry about it" he said as he put on his cut and left the room. I knew he was going to have another happy face when he gets home tonight. All I hoped for was that he was safe as always.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	8. Stay

I had been sitting outside of Donna's house for the past thirty minutes, I still didn't know what to say to her after what Opie had told me she was planning on doing. I grabbed my cell and left my car and I walked over to the door and knocked.

"Hey Jess you know you don't have to knock." she said as she opened the door.

"Opie said you were leaving." I said as I walked in as we sat down on the couch. I looked around as I noticed there were open boxes I really wanted to tell her to stay but for some reason I couldn't.

"Yeah I'm moving out with my mom for awhile I can't live like this anymore this is not for me. All I wanted was Opie to leave the club and stay out of danger and we all knew he was going to go back to the club."

"He is in the club for his family he knows it's not going to work out without it." I said as Donna grabbed my hand.

"Am I really the one that doesn't see that?" she asked as began to cry as she leaned on me.

"We always worked out our problems together, I know that without you and Hap I wouldn't be able to make through somethings. I really don't know how to help you out Donna rather than just tell you to stay. It will be selfish of me to tell you to stay."

"I feel like this is the moment one of us says we were never meant to be" said Donna as we laughed as we were both crying as we held each other. I grabbed my keys and took out the house key to this house.

"Your the only good in my life Donna." I said as I gave her the key. I walked outside and headed to the car I needed out of there.

"Jess wait." she called out as I reached the car.

"I just need to get out of here Donna" I said as she pulled me to her, I really did not want to tell her bye.

"I love you Jess" she said as she hugged me and handed me a letter.

"I love you too Donna" I said as I got in the car as she walked back inside I looked at the letter and opened the glove compartment and put it in their I was not ready for any of this and maybe Hap was right it will all work out soon.

~A~

I went to the place where I knew could help me clear my mind for awhile. Abel was not really helping me out as he kept up with him being so perfect and quiet. I should really get out of here and go see what mom needed.

"Jessica are you alright?" asked Tara as I looked up at her as she stood by the door.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said as she nodded and walked in.

"It's time for his bottle, are you going to give it to him." she said as she got it ready.

"Um no I have to go meet up with my mother." I said as I laid Abel back in I couldn't really get that carried away with him.

~A~

"Luann is being held up." said mom as she walked into the office. "Have you been crying?"

"No maybe whatever I'm fine." I said as I grabbed my makeup bag from the desk drawer as I really hated how my eyes got really red and puffy from crying like a crazy person.

"Hap, Donna?"

"Mom just drop it please, I have a lot of things to do with the garage." I said as she just stared at me trying to figure me out.

"What the hell did she do, did she say anything to you?" she asked.

"No mom everything is good. Why is Luann in jail?" I asked as she sat down.

"A.T.F bitch is back raided the warehouse found some shit you know Luann, they also picked up Rita while I was at the store with her."

"Rita?" I asked I did not know a Rita, well not that I knew of.

"Cherry apparently is Rita and is wanted for grand theft and arson in Nevada.

"Oh A.T.F is going to have a field day with that one." I said as mom seemed to agree with me.

"I don't trust that tart."

"Who does we apparently we don't even know her." I said as mom stood up and grabbed her things.

"Yeah going to go see Abel want to join me." I just shook my head no as she gave me a kiss and left the office.

~A~

I had closed the garage as I had finished and the guys seemed to have been out, I was thinking about going to go see Abel again as I left the clubhouse.

I called Hap and it went straight to voice mail so I headed over to see Abel instead of going home.

~A~

When I arrived at the hospital I noticed mom was with Abel as I entered the room.

"You feeling better?" she asked as I sat down, I should have gone home.

"Yeah but I can't shake this feeling that something is going to happen." I said as mom looked at me as Tara walked in.

"Nothing is going to happen." she said as she looked at me and then at Tara. "So Doc when is Abel going to go home?" she asked as I looked at Tara I couldn't wait for him to get out of here hospitals were not my favorite place to be.

"In a couple of days, everything seems to be going good he is a tough kid." she said as my phone began to ring. I noticed it was Hap so I grabbed my things and left the room.

"Where are you?" he asked as I answered the phone.

"On my way home just left from visiting Abel. Where are you?" I asked as I got in the car and headed home.

"Alright I'm at the house" he said as he hung up.

~A~

When I got home I found Hap in the room with Killer and Midnight watching television. I just smiled as how Hap seemed so calm just sitting on the bed.

"You talked to Donna?" he asked as he noticed me looking at him.

"Yeah she is leaving or already left." I said as I joined him on the bed.

"How are you dealing with that?"

"I'm Fine"

"Right. Clay needs me to get the Irish man and Half's bitch out of the country tomorrow. " he said as always he had to leave. I just wanted him to stay in Charming but I was going to take advantage of the little time I had right now.

~Thanks for reading and reviewing~


	9. Back Together

Hap had left this morning and I was with mom at the clubhouse as she was going over the painting job she wanted done at Jax's house. I knew Clay was not going to be happy with the cost so we were trying to figure out a way to get his approval and all we needed was for him to be in a good mood.

"Jess I got those things you needed," said Juice as I got up from the table.

"What things?" asked mom as she looked over to us.

"Supplies for the shop." I said before Juice opened his mouth and let her know what I was up too. I had already ordered the shop items, but Juice was going to help me out in looking for a new car.

"Does Hap know your looking into new cars?"

"He will once he knows I need a new car." I said as he looked at me as if he figured out. "Alright want instead of need." I said as he laughed as Clay announced that Luann was in the clear and that thanks to Otto who apparently smashed Stahl's face we were cleared of the A.T.F. Shit how will that affect Otto? As I turned my attention back to the computer Juice slams it down announcing that there were cops outside as the clubhouse door is smashed open.

"Shit" said Juice. Yeah I don't think we were that cleared as we were shoved down. I was next to Juice on the floor as I looked over at mom as I heard one of the A.T.F. Agents say that Bobby was under arrest for murder. This is not good at all fuck.

"Bitch" yelled mom as Stahl had kicked Clay.

"Hey" I yelled as Juice grabbed my arm as Stahl kicked mom stopping me before one of the agents moved over to us.

"No one is untouchable" said the bitch as she walked passed me yeah she should know. I knew I was going to hate that bitch. I loved Otto for what she did to her.

Juice helped me up as I walked over to mom who was in pain as Clay and the guys processed what the hell just happened.

"Get everyone here." Clay told Juice as I handed mom some pain pills and moved to get her a water bottle. I should call Luann to get her some stronger pain killers.

"Jess you know Donna's number they are not picking up?" he asked as I gave mom a water bottle and took out my phone.

"I tried all the numbers." he said as Donna's phone went straight to voice mail. I tried the house phone and nothing.

"Church now" yelled Clay as Juice gave up calling as I stopped trying to reach Donna.

"You two don't leave the clubhouse" said Clay as I went to sit with mom.

"I'm going to go lay down." said mom as I walked over to the rooms also nothing else we could do just wait.

I tried Donna's number and the house phone before I took a shower and they both went straight to voice mail. The shower was not as relaxing as I had hoped so I just turned off the water.

I wrapped a towel around me I walked over to the dresser and grabbed one of Hap's shirts. As I laid down on the bed and lit a cigarette my phone began to ring.

"Hey how's shit over there?" asked Hap.

"I'm at the clubhouse they just picked up Bobby for murder." I said as I sat up and turned on the light.

"Shit"

"Yeah the guys are at church and Clay wants us here, might go see Luann she was just released." I said as I got up and looked for my purse I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep might as well do something else.

"Hey Clay wants you at the clubhouse you keep your ass there." he said as I put the jeans down as I sat back on the bed.

"Alright but I'm going in the morning." I said as I was still thinking of going right now and go check up on Donna but I knew he would find out.

"Jessica"

"Alright Hap I'm getting back in bed." I said as I laid down.

"I'll call you in the morning"

"I love you" I said as I grabbed a pillow as I put the phone on the nightstand as I turned off the light.

I got up from the bed and grabbed my phone and walked out of the room. I walked over to mom's room the guys were still in church and probably won't be out till they figures out what they were going to do to help out Bobby.

"I can't sleep" I said as laid down next to her.

"Yeah me either." she said as she grabbed my hand. I hated times like these, you can't stop worrying till it was all over and I knew this was just the beginning.

~The Next Day~

I awoke as my phone began ringing, I looked at the caller id and not recognized the number but it was familiar as I remembered it was her old phone.

"Donna" I said as I sat up slowly trying not to wake up mom as I got out of the bed.

"No it's Lynette have you seen Donna. Is she with you?" Donna's mom asked she was probably the one that convinced her to move. Shit she hasn't talked to her either.

"No I haven't seen her since yesterday." I told her as she just hung up on me. Bitch. I left the room as I walked over to Hap's room, when I walked in I noticed Clay was asleep so I turned off the light and grabbed some clothes and went to the restroom to change.

~A~

"Hey Donna's mom called me that she has not talked to Donna. Did you guys hear anything from Opie?" I asked Jax as I left the clubhouse as he had just gotten here.

"No I just came from the house it was empty."

"What is going on?" I asked as it all felt too weird and a little off for them to just go somewhere without anyone knowing.

"Look what I found at the house." he said as he handed me Stahl's card. "Tig thinks he is the reason they picked up Bobby."

"Opie wouldn't rat on the club Jax." I said as I just handed him back the card.

"Hey I know that Jess, but something doesn't feel right."

"Yeah I have had that feeling for a couple of days now" I said as I walked away.

"Where are you headed?" he asked.

"Getting mom a prescription and checking up on Luann." I said as I got in my car. Knowing Luann she was probably going to be working to calm her nerves.

~A~

As I walked into the warehouse I notice that everything was back in order here as everyone was working. I walked straight to Luann's office as I remembered why I hate coming here.

"How are you?" I asked as I closed the office door.

"He smashed an A.T.F agent's face he probably is going to get more time and his parole hearing was dismissed." she said.

"The bitch deserved it" I said trying to help out Otto, but I knew Luann and it was not going to work. "Hey before I forget can you get one of your guys for a prescription."

"Hap threatened me to never give you a prescription for anything." she said as I realized Hap didn't seem to trust me when I was with Luann.

"Not for me it's for mom" I said as I stood up and kissed her goodbye as she agreed to call her guy.

~A~

I walked into the office and and handed mom the pills and sat down.

"How was Luann?" before I could answer Mary walked in asking why they had called her to pick up the kids. This lady could not even take care of Opie, why would someone call her for her grandkids.

"Hey Mary" I said as I looked at her as she looked at mom and asked what the hell Opie had done since they had called her to come pick up the kids at Stockton. "Wait what are they doing there?" I asked as mom got up and went over to Jax as Mary followed her.

"Mom was Opie arrested last night?" I asked as maybe that was the reason Jax couldn't get a hold of him.

"I don't know he didn't tell me." she said as we watched Jax go into the clubhouse as Mary left. It's bad when I don't know what is going on, but it's worse when mom doesn't know.

"Let's go check up on Abel." said mom as she went back into the office to get her things. I was going to take my car there was no way I was going to get stuck riding with mom.

~A~

First we went to go check up Jax's house to see how the painting was going. When we arrived at the hospital, Jax's bike was already here checking up on Abel. Maybe he heard something on Opie.

"Shit forgot my phone" I said as I walked back as mom went without me I was still waiting for a call from Happy. I got my phone and walked back to the room.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked as mom grabbed my arm and pulled me away as I saw Wendy holding Abel with Jax.

"She wanted to see Abel."

"Did you just hear yourself?" I said as she seemed not to have a problem with it.

"Jax is okay with it" she said as she sat down. I looked at her she was up to something and I did not like it one bit and I still didn't know what it was.

"Little family reunion?" said mom as Jax looked at us. "When is she going in?" asked mom.

"In a week. She is staying at the Ramada?" said Jax as if it was important to what she was doing.

"She can stay at the house her bags are already there" said mom.

"Wait what?" I asked as me and Jax looked at her as if she is crazy.

"We all know the truth about Opie" said mom as Jax really does seem concerned and confused as if he knows something we don't.

"He is not a rat." I said as Jax agreed with me. I can't believe Tig would think that of his own brother who did five years for them and didn't say shit.

As Jax leaves I turn to look at mom what the hell is going on.

"What the fuck was that with second chances?" I asked.

"Just go with it Jess" she said as she walked away. I knew she was up to something and I was not going to approve it one bit. I get in the car as mom stays quiet on the way to the club.

"Mom what are you up too?" I asked as this was too much for me not to know.

"Tara is just going to destroy him Jess." she said as she got out of the car. So where does Wendy fit in all this. Shit you have got to be shitting me.

"You can't be serious, you prefer her in Abel's life" I said as I walked into the office and close the door.

"You really think Wendy is going to stay clean Jess? Think about it that junkie has been trying to stay clean it's not going to work." she said as I sat down.

"This is not what Jax wanted mom."

"Jax is confused right now, he doesn't need Tara to cloud his judgments."

"I'm out of here" I said and left the office this was her trying to once again control Jax's life. She should know by now that it never works.

~A~

When I got to the house I decided to clean to stop thinking of ways I could stop mom from going all pro Wendy on me. I did not like Tara but I didn't hate her as much as I hated Wendy.

As I was finishing up someone was knocking at the door.

"I'm not going anywhere." she said as I opened the door. I just pulled her into a hug, I didn't need an explanation to why she was staying. I was just so happy I knew I wouldn't be able to make it without her in Charming.

"Shit" I said as my phone began to ring.

"Who is it?" asked Donna.

"Hap" I said as I answered it. "Can't talk hap I'm with Donna" I said as he just laughed and hung up. He probably heard the sound of my voice and knew that it was all good.

"Oh you can help me plan for Abel's homecoming" I said as I stood up.

"Your mother trusted you with the decorations. You do know that with Abel we need to get blue" she said as I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah I know sadly no pink." I said as I grabbed my bag as we headed outside. Tomorrow was going to be perfect and no one was going to ruin it.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	10. Close my Eyes

I felt someone looking at me as I slept, I knew it wasn't Killer since I could feel him next to me. I knew it was Hap as I felt him bite my neck. I turned around to face him, as I stretched he reached down and raised the shirt I was wearing taking it off. I was about to say something when he kissed me.

"I love you." I said as he laid his head on my chest, he was tired and I really needed to get up as I looked at the time.

"So Donna's back and I'm going to sleep alone." he mumbled as I rubbed his back as he figured I needed him to get off me.

"Well no I still need to pick up some things and I might be having lunch with Donna."

"But if I was Donna." he said as he flipped us over.

"Hap you have never used the Donna card." I said as I hit his chest as he put an arm around me. "You know I love you both equally." I said as he grabbed me and kissed me. "I love you more." I kissed him again and tried to get up but he wouldn't let me go.

"You know what to do to get out of this bed." he said as I just shook my head as I unbuckled his belt as his hand moved to my hair yeah I was going to be late.

~Gemma~

I was still waiting for someone to arrive as I had called everyone and no one answered they were going to catch hell later.

As always I was alone doing everything can they at least act like if they cared about this. I just wanted everything perfect for Abel. I heard someone pull up it better be Jess or this is the last time I ever let her plan anything.

"Where have you been?" I asked Jess as she walked in with the bags, I should have known to do all this on my own rather than to rely on Jess when she was never on time for anything especially if Hap was home.

"At the house the love of my life was feeling a little left out." she said as she put the bags down as Wendy walked in.

I was hoping she would put everything aside for the sake of the party and for my plan to go into effect, after all that happen Jess could do whatever she wanted with Wendy.

Jess left the decorations and headed over to the kitchen as I heard her phone ring. It probably was Donna since she and her reunited it was like if they were the only ones living in this planet.

I didn't hear anything from Jess yesterday and sometimes it was a bad thing but when it involved Donna it was a good thing. Jess seemed to need Donna to balance it out sometimes she needed a break from club shit and that was what Donna was there for.

"I'm going to go meet up with Donna going to have lunch." called out Jess from the kitchen. Even though I had a problem with the way Donna was with the club, Jess did need Donna in her life and if it made my kid happy well I was all for it.

"Wait you're leaving now?" I asked as she grabbed her purse and was walking to the door. "I can't do this alone." I said as started decorating.

"Mom your not alone." said Jess as she left.

I was going to make her pay for this later, makes her happy my ass she was also a distraction.

~Jess~

I was going to go pick up Donna as she was at the clubhouse, which worried me a bit but she was apparently trying to accept the club I was not going to question it yet.

When I got to the clubhouse I noticed Hap was still not here he was probably still at the house, I will have to force him to wake up so that he could be at the party later.

"Hey" said Donna as she got in the car as I turned to look at her.

"I'm just glad I'm not stuck with mom and the crack whore."

"Jess crack whore really?" she said as she hit my shoulder.

"She hurt Abel." I said as she just put on her seat belt and I headed to the diner. Maybe for today I would call her Wendy and it was a big ass maybe.

"Mary has the kids for the day, I actually invited her to the party if you don't mind." she said as if I really cared who was at the party or minded.

"Wait Mary as in Opie's mother?" I asked as she nodded.

"I think she wants to talk to Opie but he doesn't seem to want to."

"I don't blame him." I said as she just shook her head.

"Second chances" she said as we got out of the car. I was not really hungry but didn't mind spending some time with Donna.

"You and your damn second chances." I said as I grabbed my purse as I noticed someone sitting outside the diner asking for money to feed her kids.

I looked at the lady as Neeta always taught me to at least try to do a little good. I grabbed some cash from my purse I walked over to the lady.

"It better be for those kids." I said as I handed her the money. Last thing I wanted was to fuel someone's addiction.

"Thank you very much. May your kindness double in strength and courage." she said as we continued to walk to the door. "For you will need it" she said as I turned around to look at her. What did she say?

"What's wrong?" Donna asked as she looked at me I was about to ask the lady but decided not to as we kept walking.

"Nothing" I said as we went into the diner.

As I sat down I noticed the lady had gotten up and walked away for some reason I got that damn feeling again that something was going to happen and I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Jess are you alright?" Donna asked.

"Yeah I'm good" I said as I looked at the menu. Now I was not hungry at all as Donna kept looking at me I smiled at her but I knew she figured it out.

"So how are things with you and Hap?" she asked as the waiter brought our drinks as we ordered.

"Oh much better than the last couple of days."

"Why what happened?"

"I told Hap that I maybe wanted a baby." I said as she stared at me in shock.

"Wait now you want kids since when?"

"Not really you know me I don't do well with crying babies, but I guess I wanted a change or something."

"So how did he react?"

"He was like no, you know I can't be a father to a kid. He acted as if I was already in labor and all I said was I think I want a baby."

"Jess I have know how you act when I went in to labor you panicked and then kept saying you were not ready for kids both times." she said as I laughed after Kenny and Ellie I was so not ready to go thru that."You love them when they are babies and they look all perfect let me tell you something no baby is perfect."

"Alright it's not like if Hap is going to change his mind."

"Hap gives you everything you want and I know you will be a good mother, I will just be there helping you out so that you don't spoil them to much." she said as I was thankful she was there for me.

"Oh you have to be there as I was with you." I said as we began to eat.

"I won't panic as much as you I promise you that."

"Right" I said.

"Hey know that we can talk I have to tell you something I was talking with Opie. Apparently the bitch that agent was trying to frame Opie as a rat." she said as I thought things over. The club suspected him because he was not there yesterday, but what was Stahl capable of actually doing?

"That's not a problem Donna the club knows Opie wouldn't rat." I said as I grabbed her hand.

"They offered us witness protection if Opie turned." she said as I knew that we were not that secure and we really took a chance but I it reminded me that it only took one person to talk and everything would fall.

"What" I said as she just looked at me. That fucking bitch probably played with her mind.

"Yeah and then Opie told me that it was all bullshit, I was really blinded by that and I thought Opie was going to jail again as Mary had said and I took it into consideration but I realized what was better for our family."

"Hey don't worry about it, it's all over no one questions your loyalty nor Opie's." I said as I received a text. "Luann just text me that she was left in charge." I said as we stood up. That was a thing none of us wanted to see.

"So we should head out." said Donna as we grabbed our things. Yeah we didn't need porn stars welcoming Abel home even though the guys would probably love that idea.

~Wendy~

Everyone was arriving as I was waiting for Jax to pick me up to go get Abel, as always I was not even noticed even in my own house someone was above me.

There was never a time I was treated as Jax's old lady not even when I was sober. I was in the kitchen with Luann and Jessica as they seemed to have taken over for Gemma with the decorations and preparing the food.

Jessica has not said one word to me and I know why and I really didn't blame her but I expected that from Gemma but I already figured out that Gemma was using me.

Jessica was like Gemma in her ways she was just a little different, but I still knew what she was capable of.

As I heard knocking they both looked at me as if they expected me to go welcome people, so now it's my house I thought as I walked over to the door who would even lock it.

"Baby girl" called out Clay as he entered the house not even looking my way as I opened the door. He walked over to the kitchen straight to Jess as everyone walked in.

I left the door open as Tig and Happy came in and walked over to the kitchen. Clay seems to see Jessica in a different light as he sees Jax's, he seemed to care more for her.

"Need any thing?"

"No we are actually done here." said Luann I felt more comfortable talking to Luann than I did to the other two.

She actually never judged anyone and just did her own thing. I watched as Jessica left the kitchen and walked over to Happy as he looked at her. I noticed Luann was standing next to me as she looked at them too.

"You know it makes you think if they have made this long anyone can." I said to Luann.

"No one will ever have that." said Luann as she was probably right.

~Jess~

Wendy had left awhile ago so that meant that Abel was on his way, I sat down next to Happy as I watched Piney with Kenny and Ellie.

"Is everything alright with Tig?" I asked Hap as I noticed he had been quiet this night." Hap looked over at him and shrugged his shoulders.

"Some shit went down with the club. Don't worry about it." he said as I noticed mom had arrived. I got up and walked over to them as Clay was trying to give Abel beer.

"Clay." said mom as we all laughed.

"What it's just between him and grandpa." said Clay as I looked over at Jax as we laughed.

"Jess." said Jax as he handed Abel over who seemed so calm.

"Oh" I said as he looked up at me he looked like Jax and his blue eyes were killing me.

"Hap should watch out"Jax whispered as I just looked at Abel as Donna joined me. "Look at him he so cute and quiet and perfect." I said as mom took a picture as me and Donna looked at Abel.

"Teller babies are not perfect" said mom as she walked away as I just rolled my eyes. Donna went over to Opie as I went to sit next to Hap.

"You really want one?" Hap asked as he put his hand on my stomach as I was going to answer when Abel started to cry.

"Wait no. Mom." I said as mom walked over to me as she shook her head.

"Told you so." she said as she grabbed Abel and walked over to Luann as I leaned on Hap as he laughed.

"I think that answers your question" I said as Hap kissed me.

"Jess did I bring the bottles or are they still at your house?" mom asked as she looked around the kitchen.

"I have no idea." I said walking over to her.

"He has the ones that they give you at the hospital." said Wendy.

"You want me to go check at the house?"

"Yeah but hurry I'm making sure Hap stays here." she said as she stopped looking she was the one responsible for bringing everything over here, that I knew of nothing was at my house.

"Yeah Yeah" I said as I grabbed my bag and keys. As I was going to Hap I bumped into Donna.

"We are heading out the kids are tired and we might get a full night sleep" she said.

"Alright." I said as I hugged her.

"Are you coming back?" she asked as she hugged me.

"I don't know yet but if I don't I'll call you later. Love you Donna"

"Love you" she said as she walked out. Hap walked over to me as he put an arm around me.

"I love you more Happy." I said as I kissed him and walked out. Tig bumped into me as he was on his way out.

"Are you alright?" I asked him as he grabbed me.

"Yeah everything is good." he said as he kissed my cheek and went over to his bike, probably heading to the clubhouse.

"Hey I'm going to come back," called out Donna.

"Alright I'll be back in a bit "I said as she got in Opie's truck as I got in my car.

~A~

As I drove to the house I should have thought of it I should have joined her and done the stuff together. I got my phone and dialed her number and it went to voice mail, she probably had it off.

I walked into the house, it had to be an in and out thing if not my mother was going to get pissed. As I passed the kitchen I noticed Hap didn't put killer on lock down as he ran over to me.

I was glad he had not destroyed the house since he was alone all day. I went over to the kitchen and did not find the bottles so I went over to the room I noticed Killer wouldn't leave my side.

I decided that the things were not here since I remembered they might be at mom's I was getting ready to leave when I got the feeling that something was going to happen, I tried to shake it off as Killer began to whimper as I got the keys and my purse.

"Killer what is your problem" I said as I sat on the floor with him, he had not left my side since I walked in but as I was trying to leave he began to whine.

I sat down on the floor as he laid down on my legs. I heard the front door open I noticed it was Hap, mom was probably going to kill me but I was worried over what was going on with Killer.

"Hey I have to go and he doesn't want to move you think something is wrong?" I asked Hap as he walked over to us and didn't say anything. He would usually say that I was babying Killer but all he did was stare at me.

"Jess" I looked up at him something was not right and I knew it. I needed to make sure and he knew.

"Wait I need my phone" I said as I got up as he grabbed me. This was not good.

~Happy~

Seeing Donna's lifeless body shocked me and nothing shocks me but seeing her there was brutal. Jess was trembling as I held her and I still didn't even tell her.

"Jess" I said as she just seemed to know that something happened to Donna.

"No Hap" she said as she tried to get out of my grasp as I held on her. "Let me just please just let me call her first." she said with tears in her eyes.

"Jessica she's...

"No Hap just let me go." she said as she pushed me away as I held on to her as her legs seemed to have given out on her. "She needs me." she said as I went down with her.

"Jessica " I said as I looked at her as I wanted to take her pain away and I didn't have a fucking clue on how to deal with this shit. She had to hear it. "Donna was killed."

"no no please don't" she said as she held on to me as she cried her whole body was trembling as Killer whined next to her. "I have to see her please." she said as she tried to stand up as I stopped her.

"Jess" I said as I picked her up and carried her to the bed as she still tried to get out of my grasp.

"No I can't I need her. Please Happy.." she stopped fighting and just held on to me as she cried.

"I got you baby"

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	11. Broken Wings

It was already three in the morning and Jess had stopped crying but had not slept, all she did was just stare at the ceiling. As I turned off the light my pre pay began to ring, Jess didn't even move as I got up and answered.

"Hey." it was Clay even though I was here for Jess I needed something to do rather than just sit here not knowing what to do. "Alright" I said as I hung up. He wanted me to go check up on Tig so leaving Jess alone was not an option so I grabbed her phone and called Luann who had answered and was already on the way to stay with her.

"Jess I have something to do." I said as I sat down next to her. "Hey Jess look at me" I moved her hair away from her face as I looked at her she still had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. If I could take the pain away I would but I know that I can't do anything and she knows it. "You need to sleep" I said as I kissed her forehead as I heard the front door open. I grabbed my cut and turned off the light as I walked out of the room.

"Let her rest." I told Luann as she put her things on the table.

"Don't worry go and take care of what you need to do." she said as I just nodded and left the house.

~A~

I headed over to Tig's house. We had church in a couple of hours to discuss what to do next and Clay couldn't get a hold of Tig and he was needed at the clubhouse.

"Hey what the hell happened to you?" I asked as I looked at him as he is sitting on the couch bleeding from a cut on his forehead with a bottle in his hand. "Hey Clay has been calling you." I said as I snatched the bottle away from him as he looked up at me.

"It was a mistake" he said as didn't move.

"Brother what are you saying?"

"It was a mistake shit went wrong it was going to be Opie." he said as I leaned on the wall. Fuck.

"We thought Opie ratted on Bobby, Stahl set him up wired his truck bugged his phone." he said as I just looked at him. "I didn't know it was Donna." Fuck if this shit got out it would fracture the club, and it will break Jess more than she is right now.

"Get your shit together Clay needs us at the club."

~Luann~

It was already seven in the morning and Hap hadn't return and Jess had not moved at all and Killer would growl if I tried to go near her. He probably knew Jess was vulnerable and hurting so I just closed the door and went to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine.

Donna was the one that could deal with Jess when she was like this, when it came to this I was useless and Gemma would probably end up making it worse.

"Hey how is she?" asked Gemma as she walked in. I looked up at her, she was as if nothing had happened. She always found a way to be strong after Tommy and John and always expected the same from Jess.

"Hap said to let her rest and Killer won't let me near her." I said as she sat down, I expected her to barge into her room.

"She needs to get up, she can't just stay in bed it's not going to fix anything."

"She needs time, how do you think she feels Gemma?" I asked as I got up as she stared at me. What did she expect for Jess to get up and go work the office?

"Everyone is hurting we can't all just let it affect us." she said.

"She can't be as cold as you all the time, Donna was a sister to her not just another old lady she had to befriend. Leave her alone, when she is ready she will do whatever she needs to do."

"I'm her mother and I know what she needs not you. Just because Happy called you doesn't mean you get to over step me."

"I'm not over stepping you, all I'm saying is you can't expect her to just be out and about as if nothing happened." I said as she just went ahead an walked into the room.

"Where the hell is she?" she asked as she came out of the room.

"What?" I asked as as we both walked into the room. "Look in the restroom" I said as I noticed Killer wasn't here either. I looked outside and noticed her car wasn't here. "Her car is not here." I called out as I walked back inside.

"When the hell did she leave? Where the hell did she go?"

"I don't know she is your daughter" I said as I tried calling her but her phone went straight to voice mail. "You think she went to Opie's I said as Gemma went and grabbed her phone.

"I'll call Mary she is at Opie's"

"What the hell are we going to tell Hap?" I asked as called Mary.

"Shit he is going to kill us."

~Jax~

Mom had called me and asked if I had seen Jess, as I hung up I knew where she was knowing her there was only one place for her to be. She was probably taking it as Opie just showing it more.

"Hey" I said as she opened her eyes and looked up at me she had been crying I noticed Killer was laying with her as he looked up at me. "Jess mom is looking for you." I said as I sat down next to her.

"I should have let her go, she was right all it does is ruin things. She would have been alive if she was at her mother's not trying to learn to love the club" she said as tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey this had nothing to do with you Jess, we are going to take care of this." I said as I grabbed her hand. Killer seemed to be having a problem with me being near her but she patted him and he calmed down.

"Whatever you end up doing or killing is not going to bring her back. You know Dad was right the only one at peace is Thomas." she said as she closed her eyes. Did Hap even know where the hell she was?

"Common" I said as I got up and was going to help her stand up.

"I'm not ready to go home."

~Happy~

If it meant protecting the club and his decision Clay was going to put the blame on Laroy. Jax had just announced that the funeral was tomorrow. It was going to be a rough day for Jess, it was going to be a rough time for her.

"What are we going to do rather than just sit around talking about how everyone feels guilty." said Piney as we all looked at him.

"I know you're hurting. You think you're trying to help, but..." Clay started as Piney interrupted him.

"Don't you tell me what I'm thinking!" yelled Piney as his hand hit the table. "If it would have been Jess there would be six charters halfway to Oakland."

"Hey" yelled out Clay as he tried to gain control. Piney was right on that shit there would of already been a bullet in the skull of the fucker responsible.

"The Niners came gunning for my son. They killed my daughter-in-law. You got that hurt, huh? You got that kind of hole in your family?" he said as he walked out followed by Jax.

As I walked out I grabbed my phone to check up on Jess as I saw Gemma walking over to me.

"She's not at the house." she said as she reached me.

"I got it" I said as I already knew where she was. "I'll pick her up tomorrow" she said as she walked over to Clay as I headed to my bike.

~A~

When I arrived at the cemetery I noticed she was at Thomas instead of at John's grave, she was laying on the ground with Killer staring at her as he was sitting next to her. She didn't even notice I was looking at her as she stared at the sky.

"I can't do this." she said as she looked over at me.

"Jess what are you talking about."

"Donna's mother was right, when I met her you know what she said to me that I was trash and all that I was going to bring to her daughter trouble and that the club was good for nothing."

"Jess"

"You know what I told her" she sat up "I said that the club was my family and that we protected each other. I should have" known better.

"Your not trash."

"I know but we are not good people and Donna is dead because of a deal gone wrong. If I had never met Donna she wouldn't of met Opie and she wouldn't of been in that truck."

"Jess hey it's not your fault it's never going to be your fault. Were going to take care of this, whoever is responsible will be taken care of. Everything is going to get better." I said as I grabbed her and forced her to stand and to look at me.

"No Hap she is dead, gone and you could kill everyone that is responsible and it won't mean shit" she said as she walked over to her car. Shit I have to do some club shit but I still made sure she got home safe. I had to call Quinn and tell him I needed some time.

~The Next Day~

I couldn't sleep and seeing Donna every time I closed my eyes didn't really help. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light my eyes were puffy and red and the the lack of sleep were present in my eyes as well.

"Gemma is picking you up." Hap said as he walked in as I starred at myself in the mirror. "Jess I'm talking to you" he said as he stood behind me.

"Yeah I heard you" I said as I looked at him. " I was just going to take a shower..." before I could finish what I was saying Hap had an arm around me as he picked me up and walked over to the bed as he kissed me. Maybe this will help me feel something.

~Luann~

When I walked into Jess's house she was sitting at the table with just a towel on. At least she was out of her bed and we knew where she was.

"I brought breakfast" I said as I put it on the table and passed a plate to her.

"My eyes hurt and I'm not really hungry." she said as I sat down.

"Try to eat something, I doubt Hap would be okay with you not eating." I said as I handed her a fork.

"You used to be the fun one" she said as she began picking her food. She looked at me and smiled as we heard the front door open.

"Oh good your eating" said Gemma as she walked in with Wendy.

Jess just looked at her and then looked at Wendy and left the table. Did she really need to bring Wendy to this, she knew how much Jess hated her and right now Jess didn't need any of this right now.

As Wendy sat down and looked around I followed Gemma into the room.

"You feeling any better?" asked Gemma as she sat down on the bed.

"No" said Jess as she got dressed.

"Jess"

"I don't want to hear it mom" she said as she finished and grabbed her bag. "I'm going with you." she said as she looked at me.

"Jess we represent..

"Can you not I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing that bullshit. My sister just died and I don't give a shit if people are going to see me cry or vulnerable. They could fucking say and think whatever the fuck they want." she said as she grabbed her coat and walked out. I grabbed my keys and followed her she needed to calm down.

~Jess~

Luann's way of helping me calm worked out a little bit but not as much as having Hap's hand on my shoulder as I sat here looking at Donna's casket.

It felt like a dream but I knew that it was me that wanted it to be a dream. I wanted to wake up and be able to call her or just go to her house to know that she was still alive.

I closed my eyes as I felt the tears threatening to fall. How could I feel so alone when I was surrounded by people?

"I'm sorry" I said as I looked at mom as she held my hand. I shouldn't have snapped at her probably the lack of sleep didn't really help.

"It's alright baby your hurting." she said as I leaned on her as she put an arm around me. She had her own way of dealing with all of this.

I noticed Jax had just gotten here and well he looked like shit. What the hell is wrong with us Tellers that we can't deal with death when we have gone thru it a lot of times?

Everyone had began to leave as they were going to meet up at the clubhouse. I was not in the mood to go nor I wanted to see people just act as if it were another day.

I noticed how mom and Clay walked over to where Jax had gone. I didn't want to move so I just sat here as Hap was talking to Lorca.

"Do you need anything?" asked Wendy as I wiped away my tears.

"No thanks" I said as she stood up as she just nodded and walked away.

"Hey you alright?" asked Tig as he sat next to me.

"No" I said as he put an arm around me.

"Stupid question."

"Yeah" I said as I leaned into him. "Would it really be that bad if I just go crazy?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said as he got up and walked away as Hap walked over here.

"You already said your goodbyes" he asked as he stood in front of me.

"I'm not ready" I said as I got up as he grabbed my hand.

"Let's get out of this place for awhile."

"Where are we going?" I said as I just really wanted to go back to the house and try to sleep and be alone.

"You're the one that said you wanted me to take you somewhere."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	12. Without You

A month away from everything and everyone was just what I needed but it was time to go back and face reality.

Laying here with Hap was the only thing I found comfort in, and the sound of his heartbeat was something I had become accustomed to hearing these mornings. I felt no pain and everything just seemed to go away as he held me.

I had something to do before we left so I quietly got out of bed so that I wouldn't wake up Hap and Killer as I wanted to do this by myself.

After I managed to get out of bed I grabbed a shirt and left the room shutting the door and grabbed my car keys and headed outside.

~A~

After I got the letter Donna had handed me the day she was moving out I sat down on the steps of the cabin. As I looked at it I took a deep breath and opened it and began to read.

"_Jess I was just going to go to your house and tell you that I was moving out of Charming but as always I couldn't tell you that I'm leaving. I know that after you reading this letter we are going to end up talking on the couch as we always do. I'm asking you not to talk me out of it. It's for the best and I have to figure this out on my own._

_I don't and I will never regret the day I met you, because of you I have two beautiful children and I met the love of my life. Things may not have gone as we expected or wanted but I wouldn't change the past and I know that neither would you. _

_We both have gone through a lot of trouble and overcame a lot of obstacles it made us who we are today and thanks to that we are stronger and a little crazy, you more than me but we are alright. _

_I'm thankful to have you in my life and forever grateful that you sometimes put your life on hold when I needed someone to talk to. _

_Cutting all ties will be hard and I will miss you every day. There is something that I wanted you to remember you are stronger than you think but the most important thing is even when we 're apart I will always be with you. I love you Jessica."_

_Love Donna._

I laid back as I held the letter, I will always miss Donna and I know that she will always be with me.

As I got up from the floor I heard the door open as Killer ran past me as Hap stood there looking at me.

"You alright?" he asked as I walked over to him.

"Getting there." I said as I as he put an arm around me as he kissed me. "Let's go inside"

"It's not like if we've got anything better to do." he said as he picked me up.

"Hap I have to pack" I said as he threw me on the bed, maybe I should have done it last night I knew Hap had other things on his mind and we were not going to leave soon.

~Gemma~

Everyone was still not healed and Jax seemed to be having some trouble with Clay. I knew my son and he probably found out what happened to Donna.

Jess was still not home and that made me worry if it ever came out that Clay was behind the hit that was meant for Opie well no one would know how she would react.

"When is Jess and Hap getting back?" asked Clay as he walked into the office. Clay always seemed uncomfortable when Jess was not in Charming, but especially right now since Bobby was locked up and Opie also took some time to clear his mind.

"Supposedly tomorrow. The only way we can talk to her is if we call Hap." I told him as he sat down.

"She sounded much better last time I talked with her." he said as I agreed.

"Yeah Hap must really be helping her out." I said as I tried not to laugh as Clay made a face. "I didn't meant it that way" I said as when it came to Jess she could do no wrong and in his eyes she was the perfect daughter.

"Hey I don't care what the hell he is doing and I don't want to hear about it, as long as he brings her back."

"Clay this thing that happened with Donna and the club it can't come out because if Jess finds out we might..

"Hey it's not going to happen" he said as he left the office.

~Jess~

"Are you sure you're ready to go home?" Hap asked as I looked up at him.

"Yeah I can't hide out forever, even though I did enjoy this uninterrupted time with you." I said as I didn't really want to go back but Lake Tahoe was a distraction and it was time to face reality.

"I hate going thru this but I prefer it rather than not feeling anything." I said as I remembered at how mom reacts when someone dies, she just goes on as if nothing happened.

"Everything will work itself out, you will get thru this." he said as I agreed with him. I just don't think things will get better I knew this was just the start of worse things to happen.

"I will and I know I couldn't do this without you. I love you Hap."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	13. Barely Breathing

~A Week Later~

I was sitting at the bar as I was waiting for mom to finish up whatever she was up to so that we could get everything for Bobby's party.

The guys were in church, Hap was on his way back from Tacoma as he had left a week ago.

"Hey Jess, Opie should be back today." announced Jax as he gave me a quick hug.

"That's good the kids missed him."

"Yeah and we don't know how long Mary is going to help out. Hey we have to head out" he said as he kissed me goodbye.

"Be careful." I said as he just nodded and walked out as Clay gave me a kiss and left. One of the crow eaters brought me a coffee as mom walked in with Abel.

"Were taking Abel with us." said mom as she handed Abel over and headed over to the kitchen before I could even say anything.

"Numb the pain." said Piney as he sat next to me offering me Tequila I just shook my head my head and kiss him on the cheek as I picked up Abel's carrier. Leave it to him to start drinking at nine in the morning.

"Later." I said as I put on my sunglasses and followed mom outside before we wasted more time at the clubhouse.

Since we decided it was much safer to go in my car when we had Abel, I drove as mom kept an eye on him.

"So everything good with Abel?" I asked as I remembered he had an appointment this morning.

"Yeah everything came out good and apparently he is sleeping good at night according to Tara." said mom as I looked at her and laughed.

"What I just wanted some information." she said she already knew everything.

"So your plan with Wendy fell thru and now you and Tara are on a get to know you basis again."

"All we have to worry about is Abel." she said as I just nodded, thanks to him mom had backed off a bit when it comes to me and I did not mind the space at all.

"Is Luann going to come tonight?" I asked as I looked for parking.

"Yeah said she needed some time off."

"She is still having trouble with that guy right?" I asked as I remembered her talking about when we had a dinner and she seemed way to stressed.

"Yeah she was going to talk to Otto. Hmm some new store is opening" said mom as I grabbed Abel's carrier. I looked over as I noticed the men there were looking at us as they stood outside the new shop.

"Has Clay said anything about them?" I asked as I got uneasy feeling as they just kept staring as we walked passed them.

"Not yet."

"I'm just glad Bobby and Opie are going to be back home." I said as mom agreed with me. We could try and hope that things would settle down for awhile.

"When is Hap getting back?" she asked as we walked into the store.

"In a couple of hours." I said as she didn't say anything, there was something she wasn't telling me and I also got the same feeling from Jax.

~Happy~

When I arrived at the clubhouse I noticed Jess was sitting outside with Abel as she looked over at the ring as Chibs was training with the prospect.

If it wasn't Ellie clinging to her all the time she had Abel with her no matter what she was doing. Where the hell was Jax's bitch to take care of his kid rather than Jess who was getting too attached to him.

"Hey how was the road?" she asked as she looked over at me as I had stayed there looking at her.

"Good" I said as I sat down next to her as Abel began to cry, before she would just hand a kid over to someone when it started to cry now she figured out a way to shut him up.

"Why doesn't Gemma have him?"

"She is busy getting everything ready and I rather be here with him rather the kitchen full with whores." she said as Jax and Opie arrived.

"How did everything go with the kid?" Jax asked.

"Good needs to put on more weight, according to mom Tara wants to turn him into a little vegan pussy with soy based milk."

"Teller men don't need that shit." said Jax as he picked up Abel as Jess went over to Opie.

"Abel giving Jess some ideas?" asked Jax as I watched as Jess as she was with Opie.

"It's not for us" I said as he just looked at me and nodded.

"We've got church in a few, were going to deal with Donna's retaliation." said Jax as everyone greeted Opie. I knew the way Jax acted around Clay and Tig that he knew the truth about what happened.

"I'm taking him inside" said Jess as Jax handed Abel over to her. I noticed her eyes got watery as she walked into the clubhouse.

~Jess~

I was getting ready and waiting for Neeta to come pick up Abel as Hap walked in, by the way he slammed the door I knew something was up.

"Everything alright?" I asked as as he looked at Abel as he had woken up but not crying.

"So your going to take care of him all night?"

"No I'm just waiting for Neeta to pick him up." I said as he looked at Abel and left the room as I finished doing my hair.

Now what the hell was his problem? I finished getting ready as my phone began to ring, I noticed it was Tara as I looked at Abel then at my phone and just pressed ignore. I still couldn't stand her and if she needed something she could call mom or Jax.

~A~

I walked over to the kitchen as I was looking for mom

"Piney have you seen my mother?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"Hey um she is with Clay at the dorms." answered Half sack as he blushed. I looked over at Piney as he threw him something and told him to get back to work.

"Thanks" I told half sack as he went back to stocking up the bar. "Have you talked to Opie about Mary and the kids?" I asked Piney.

"Not yet he needs to step up, it's not our shit to deal with." he said maybe I should talk to him I didn't mind spending time with Ellie and Kenny but they really needed Opie right now.

"Has Jax talked to you about something?" he asked as he grabbed my hand.

"No like what?" I asked confused as to where this conversation was going.

"Everything alright baby girl?" asked Clay as he put an arm around me as Piney stood up.

"She was asking about Hap." said Piney as he walked away.

"He should be back soon." he said as I just realized Hap was not even here and Piney was hiding something from Clay.

"Jess has Neeta picked up Abel yet?" asked mom as I pointed over at where Abel was. "Maybe I should call her" she said as my phone began to ring.

"She beat you to it." I said as I was going to answer when Clay motioned us to look at the camera that she had arrived. We both left him at the bar as mom grabbed Abel and we walked outside.

"How are you?" asked Neeta as mom just shook her head as she put Abel in the car as Neeta hugged me.

"I'm good." I said as I let her go as she got back in the car.

"I'm surprised you still haven't turn into those bible readers."

"She took care of me not raised me." I said as we entered the clubhouse.

"Jess make sure to stay away from Piney and his tequila." mom called out as I sat down next to Piney as he handed me the first shot of the night.

"You always know what I need." I said as I leaned into him as he kept the shots coming.

~Gemma~

As I finished with everything in the kitchen I noticed Jess was now away from Piney as she was sitting next to Tig. Piney was not helping her in the drinking department and for some reason Clay never wanted Jess alone with him.

Was there a possibility that he knew something? He as everyone involved in this Donna deal would know how it would hurt Jess and I knew that it was the last thing anyone would want to do.

I kept on eye on Jess and Tig as I saw Hap walk over to Jess and just grab her arm as they went over to the rooms.

Shit maybe they needed more than one month away from the club. Since they got back last month they seemed to be having problems. Jess seemed to be distracting herself with Ellie and Abel, she even seemed to at least tried to act as if Tara didn't bother her even though they both knew they couldn't tolerate each other I think they are trying at least for Abel.

I just hope her and Hap work out whatever they are dealing with the right way, not the way they usually do it.

Jess

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked as I closed the door as he began to change. I hated when he was like that, if he wanted to talk to me he could tell me rather than just drag me to the room to just ignore me.

"What the fuck were you doing with Tig?" he asked as he put his hand around my neck as he held me against the door all of a sudden.

"Are we going thru this again, what is so wrong with Tig? What is your problem let me go" I said as I pushed him away as he let me go.

One minute we were fine but when he got back from his runs it was like a total different person who seemed threaten if anyone was around me.

"Remember who the fuck you belong to." he said as he left the room. I walked over to the restroom as I looked at myself at the mirror I was thankful he didn't leave a mark on my neck.

No I wasn't going to cry over this shit I turned off the light and headed over to the party.

As we waited for Bobby to get here I spent my time with mom as we relaxed a bit at the picnic table. We noticed a car drive into the garage, Mom made sure she was standing in front of me as she realized it wasn't Bobby as we just stood there as I noticed a couple of Darby's guys with the men we had seen earlier on Main Street.

"This does not look good" I said as she just nodded as I noticed Tig pull out his gun. Yeah this was not going to be good as everyone went silent as we watched the events unfold.

As they walked back to their cars mom walked over to Clay bumping into one of the guys as he looked at her as Hap moved in front of me as the guy stared at me I noticed Hap's gun was out as he put an arm around me.

"Stay with Gemma." demanded Hap as he followed Tig as they made sure the men left the garage.

"Everything alright?" I asked mom as she walked over to me.

"Yeah they have it covered." she said not sounding so sure. "Common let's go inside I need a drink.'

"Me too." I added as she gave me a look. "Just one." I said as we walked into the club.

~A~

"Bitch" I said as I noticed Clay was talking to Stahl. "Good to have you back" I said as Bobby picked me up. "Oh I missed you." I said as I put my arms around him.

"Yeah I missed you too" said Bobby. "How are you Jess?" he asked as he let me down.

"I'm getting there." I said as he just nodded as I went over to mom. I sat next to her as I looked around I noticed Hap was welcoming back Bobby.

"Still not drunk enough to deal with his bipolar ass." she said as I leaned into her and shaked my head no.

"Hey common I'm going to go relieve Neeta and you need some time away from the bar and Hap." said mom as I disagreed with her as I followed her to her car.

"Mind if I stay at your house." I said as I was not planning on staying at the clubhouse tonight and there was no way I was staying alone at the house.

"You know the answer to that."

"Where are you going?" Hap asked as I noticed he had followed me.

"Staying at moms" I said as he just nodded. "I love you Hap" I said as I kissed him. "Have fun"

"Be careful" he said as he walked back to the clubhouse as I got in the car.

~A~

As we drove to Jax's mom was silent as I knew she was holding something back but right now I was not in the mood to discuss something.

"Jessica Teller are you drunk?" asked Neeta as I walked into Jax's house, she always made me feel as if I was underage and doing something wrong.

"No" I said as mom laughed and walked over to the room as Neeta made me go to the kitchen as she put on a pot of coffee. That was not what I had planned.

"Drink it up, I have to go." she said as she put the cup in front of me and grabbed her things.

"Yeah no" I said as she left and I dumped it if I wanted to sleep tonight coffee was not going to help me.

"Sobered up yet?" asked mom as I walked into the nursery.

"I'm not even drunk" I said as laid down on the sofa as she feed Abel. I closed my eyes for a little while as mom seemed to be talking to Abel.

~A~

"Jess let's go" said mom as she woke me up.

"Jax is back?" I asked as I sat up. "What time is it?"

"Jess you were asleep for like five minutes" said mom as I got up and followed her out of the room. "Where the hell is Jax?" I asked as I grabbed my purse as I noticed Tara was talking to mom.

"At the club, Tara is staying with Abel" said mom.

"Can we go home now I have a headache" I said as we walked out of the house.

"Jess where are you and Hap with what he tells you about the club?" mom asked as we got in the car. I should have just stayed at the clubhouse.

"Mom what more do I need to know he tells me enough, shit sometimes he tells me in great detail. For me less is better."

"I guess I shouldn't worry about you and loving the club you loved it before Hap. Tara on the other hand we have to work on that one." she said as she passed me the joint she had just lit.

"Mom, Tara will never love the club." I said "You know something every time everything is going good in our world and out of nowhere something always has to fuck it up" I said as I looked out the window.

"It's our life baby we are already used to it, and then when everything is boring we complain the shit out of it." she said. I preferred it when everything just stood still and we didn't have to worry about anything.

"You know I find something weird with how the club dealt with retaliation for Donna." I said as mom turned to look at me.

"What are you talking about Jess?" she asked as we stopped at a red light.

It seems as if the club didn't give a shit." I said as I remember Piney complaining about it.

"Opie wasn't ready..." she stopped as we heard someone honking at us didn't they see the red light.

~A~

"Help me my baby is choking." cried the girl as mom just decided to spring into action.

"Where are you going?" I asked as she left the damn car and I was the drunk one. "Are you serious" I said as I sat up and noticed mom left her gun here, since when did she become helper of the damn world.

I made sure I had my gun as I was planning on making sure mom was alright as I looked back and noticed.. "What the... fucking bitch." I noticed the blond hit mom.

As I hurried out of the car someone grabbed the back of my head as I felt a sharp pain as someone hit me over the head as I fell to the ground feeling the cold pavement as I began to see white spots as I felt someone pick me as everything went black.

(Thanks for reading and Reviewing)


	14. Aint Life Unkind

They were just expecting one of them, they got lucky when they noticed they had both women from Samcro. The message was sent clearly and was visible, now all they do is wait. All of this wouldn't of happened if they had just accepted their terms.

"Make the call" he said coldly as they all walked out of the warehouse and locked it.

~Unser~

I got a bad feeling as I recognized the car, it was Gemma's what was she doing at this time. When I reached the warehouse her car was not warm as it had been turned off for awhile.

The warehouse was locked from the outside as I knocked and called out Gemma's name as I tried to find a way to open the door.

At first I thought I was mistaken when I heard a faint voice calling my name but as I heard it again I knew it was Gemma's voice. I ended up shooting the lock as I found no other way in.

"Gemma" I called out as I walked in I stopped as I noticed she was on the floor covered with just a small blanket as she looked over at me.

I went straight to her and noticed her face as I saw that Jess was lying next to her.

"What happened?" I asked as I was going to help her sit up as I noticed they were both undressed and apparently had been beaten by the looks of their condition.

"Just get her out of here first." demanded Gemma as I went over to Jess who had her eyes closed as she held Gemma's hand.

I had to get them out of here and to the hospital. Who in their right mind attack them knowing how protective club was of them?

"I got you." I said to Jess as I grabbed her hand and kneeled next to her as I was going to help her stand up.

"Hap." Jess whispered as she open her eyes as she winced in pain as she grabbed a hold of my hand.

"Jessica it's me Unser" I said as she turned to look at me.

"Chief" she said as I held the blanket covering her body as much as I could. I should have called Clay he had to know, he should be here.

"I need to get you in the car." I said as she cried out in pain as she stood up and nodded as leaned on me.

"Wait I can't where is my mother?" she asked as she tried to turn but I held her.

"She is already in the car" I lied as I helped her up, Gemma wanted me to put Jess in the car first and knowing Jess she wouldn't of left the warehouse without her even though the car was just outside.

I went back to the warehouse as I made sure Jess was going to be alright for the moment but she didn't say anything she was shaking as I let her hand go, I had to go get Gemma.

"How did you know we were here?" she asked as she was also shaking as I helped her out.

"I heard it over the radio recognized your car." I answered as we left the warehouse.

"Anonymous tip?" asked Gemma as I helped her in the car. I just answered yes and got in the car I had to get them both out of here.

I checked on Jess as she was just staring outside the window and noticed she was silently crying.

"Gemma you need to tell me what happened?" I asked even though all the evidence pointed to one thing.

"Where are you going?" she asked ignoring my question as she looked around.

"St. Thomas." I answered where else did she think I was headed.

She asked me for the phone, Clay would force them to go to the hospital. Knowing Clay retaliation was going to be the first thing they would do, and the cowards that attacked Gemma and Jess had to pay.

"Go to Tara's house." said Gemma as I hoped she knew what she was doing, because I did not like it one bit.

~Tara~

At first I wondered why would Gemma call me, but then I knew there had to be a reason for her calling me and asking me to go to the house that she needed my help.

When I got to the house I found Unser's patrol car outside, I was shocked to see the conditions of Gemma and Jess as Unser helped them out of the car.

"What happened?" I asked as Unser just shook his head as I looked over at Gemma.

I closed my eyes as I realize what happened I remembered what I told Gemma that no one was untouchable, all this made me want to take it back.

They both knew what came with being with the club, they were in danger a target painted on their backs. Was I ready for this and was I strong enough to help them no matter our past. I need to get them to the hospital as I won't be able to treat them here, I take a deep breath I'm risking all this for Jax.

Jess was curled up on the couch as she just staring at the floor as Gemma decided what to do.

Both of them needed my help and it was up to me to figure this one out as Unser gave up so easily fighting against Gemma not telling Clay.

~Juice~

"Hey can't get Hap on the phone tell him to head over to St. Thomas." said Tig as I answered my phone as I opened my eyes as he mentioned St. Thomas.

"What happened?" I asked as I got off the table I had fallen asleep last night or a couple of hours ago.

"Let Hap know Jess was in a car accident with Gemma. All of you head over here now." he said and hung up.

"Shit" I grabbed my cut as I woke up the guys. I headed over to Hap's room as I noticed the door was open as he was face down on the bed.

"Hap" I called out. "Jess is at St. Thomas."

"Fuck" he said as he got up and grabbed his cut as I followed him out. "What the fuck happened to her?" he asked.

"They were in a car accident" I said as I went over with Piney as Hap left the clubhouse as I helped with Bobby.

"What happened?" asked Piney as Half sack got Chibs.

"Jess and Gemma are at St. Thomas Clay wants us there."

"What the hell are we waiting for let's go" grumbled Piney as we all left the clubhouse.

~Jess~

_"Do you know who I am?"_

_"Do you know what I can do to you?"_

As if that stopped these assholes from hurting us. The answers to those questions is the reason why we were chained on a fence.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking even as hours have passed, every time I closed my eyes I felt their hands on me no matter how hard I tried they were there. I could still hear my mother's screams as she warned them who she was and I had not said anything as I saved my energy because I knew my time would come.

My wrists were bruised and my body ached bringing back memories of the past as I tried not to think of anything as they had their way with me several times as if it was necessary and we didn't get the point of what they were doing. Ignoring the pain and their grunts as they moved behind me.

Even though I wanted to rip them apart for hurting my mother I felt helpless no matter how hard I hit them, there message was sent but they didn't know how much my mother was willing to protect the club.

After Tara finished treating me she began to explain my injuries, I had no idea how I was going to hide them from Hap.

I wanted to tell her to leave me alone that I had already been here and knew what to do, but this time it was different I was alone, I didn't have Donna and I couldn't tell Hap.

After she gave me antibiotics and cleaned up the cut I had on my cheek Unser announced that the guys were here so they both left to try to control the situation.

"Jessica" mom called out as I looked over at her as Tara left the room.

How the hell was Happy going to handle this? It wasn't like if I could just give him some sort of lie and he would back off. He would know something was up he always does.

"I can't lie to Hap" I said as she grabbed my hand.

"We have to protect the club, Clay and Hap." she said. "How do you think Hap would react if he knew someone hurt what was his? she continued "This wasn't about us they did it to hurt the club, it's our job to protect our men."

"Mom I know Hap he won't buy the car story. It's just going to make things worse."

"We will stick to the story." she said as I squeezed her hand. Happy was going to kill me when he finds out I kept this from him. "Just give me time Jess we will be done with this" she said as Tara walked back in.

"Clay and Happy want to see you. Happy looks like he won't take no for an answer." said Tara as mom stood up.

"Talk to Hap in here and Jess...

"Mom I got it" I said as mom walked out followed by Tara.

I stood up from the exam table as I walked around but just decided to lean on the table as I waited for Hap and tried to control my trembling.

"Shit Jess" said Hap as he walked in and looked at me. You can do this Jess for the club you've done this before.

"Fuck how bad was the car accident, those look a little to much." he said as I he held my hand as he moved closer to me as I tried not to flinch.

"I wasn't wearing a seat belt this time, we got distracted a stupid mistake" I said as he put an arm around my waist.

"Shit baby." he said as he looked at the bruises on my face.

"I'm alright nothing I can't handle." I said as I placed my hands on his chest.

"I called you last night." he said as I leaned on him.

"Yeah I probably left my purse at Jax's" I said as I don't even remember or know where my purse was. "You should have stayed at the club." he said as I knew I was going to lose him over this.

"A little late for that." I said as I flinched as he was about to kiss my neck.

"You alright?" he asked as I looked up at him.

"Yeah my body just hurts I just need some rest." I said as he nodded and kissed my forehead as someone knocked.

"Happy just wanted to let you know that Jax was asking for you outside." she said as she stood by the door.

"I'm alright Hap just go do what you need to do."

"You want me to take you home, got to meet Opie and Tig but I got time to drop you off." he said as he still had his arms around me.

"I just want to do a couple of more x rays." said Tara as I was glad she was here at the moment.

"Thought it was not that serious?" he asked as he looked over at Tara and then back at me.

"Yeah just precaution." I said as Tara nodded.

"Alright call me when you get out." he said as he kissed my forehead.

"I will, I love you." I whispered as he nodded and walked away.

As I heard the door close I sat down and let it all out, Tara held my hand as I cried.

"Jess you have to talk to someone." said Tara as I let her hand go and stood up.

"I'm alright I have my mother" I said as I walked out of the room.

~A~

I bumped into Neeta as I began to look for mom. "Where's mom?" I asked her.

"I've seen this before Jessica" said Neeta ignoring my question as she walked me over to the Chapel. "You can't hide this from anyone not this time, Happy will know what to do." she said as I just shook my head no.

"No Neeta I just can't not now" I said as I walked over to where mom was sitting with Abel.

Mom looked at me as I sat next to her.

"Were going to get thru this baby." said mom as I closed my eyes as she held my hand I wish I could believe her.

~A~

As the water hit my body I tried to relax as much as I could, I wanted to be alone I couldn't handle the way Tara kept looking at me.

Neeta wasn't helping either when I looked at her I knew she wanted to say something.

There was nothing we could do right now just wait and see what could be done.

I turned off the water and just stared at the wall I didn't recognize anything, mom said she remembered a voice and nothing else. Where did she hear that voice?

As I dried myself I noticed the bruises on my body I turned off the light and went over to check the locks again as Killer followed me around.

I noticed Hap had called me as I was taking a shower right now I wanted to keep a distance from him since I didn't know how to deal with him.

I put on one of Hap's long sleeves shirts and sweatpants as I got ready for bed. I made sure my gun was within reach as I laid down turning off the light.

I closed my eyes hoping the medication will help me rest, I felt a little safe as I felt Killer join me on the bed.

_As I opened my eyes I noticed someone was looking at me but I couldn't see clearly as I noticed he was not alone. _

_The only thing I could hear was my heart beat as I closed my eyes again as I noticed the guys were wearing white masks. _

_When I felt pain on my wrists I looked up as I noticed I was tied to the fence._

"_No" I yelled as I felt them grab my legs as I kicked one of them as I looked at the other man with the same mask as he raised his hand and hit me across the face. _

_As I raised my head I couldn't believe what I saw it felt as my heart had stopped completely. I fought harder as I wanted to help my mother as I saw that another one of these assholes had her against the __fence. _

"_Let her go." I yelled as I felt one of the men grab my shirt ripping it in two as I tried to free my legs from their grasp. "Fucking asshole" I said was able to free one of my legs and was able to kick one of the guys in the head. _

"_Bitch you have to learn your place." he said as the last thing I remember was a fist to the face and then everything went black. _

_I felt my world spinning as I opened my eyes and felt all the pain thru my body as I tried to move I felt someone hold me in place. _

_"Where's your old man now, should of thought better of who you wanted to associate yourself." he whispered as he pulled my hair back as I felt his breath on my neck as he moved behind me. _

_~A~_

"No." I yelled as I woke up and felt someone grabbing my arms as I was unable to move.

"Jessica" I heard Hap yell as I opened my eyes and stopped fighting as I noticed he was the one above me.

"I'm alright" I said as he let go of my arms as he let me sit up. I noticed I was sweating as I was going to raise the sleeves I remembered the bruises on my wrists.

"Hap are you alright?" I asked as I noticed he had blood on him.

"Bobby got shot." he said as he took off his hoodie and threw it on the floor as he moved off me.

"Is he alright?" I asked as he laid down.

"Yeah Jax got his bitch to patch him up." he said as I got up from the bed I needed to get out of here for a bit.

"Hey where are you going."

"Just going to get water." I said and left the room.

I walked passed the kitchen and sat down on the couch. I looked at my hands as I noticed I was shaking, I closed my eyes hoping there was an end to all of this.

~The next Day~

As I opened my eyes I noticed Killer was looking at me, as my phone began to ring I pushed him away as I grabbed my phone sitting up on the couch ignoring the pain.

"Hey" I answered as I noticed it was mom.

"How are you feeling baby?"

"Like shit everything hurts."

"Yeah got the same here."

"Going to the shop?"

"On my way, can't be in this house makes me feel like I'm trapped." she said.

"Same here meet you there." I said as I hanged up as I laid back and closed my eyes.

"This doesn't look like water." Hap said as I looked up at him.

"Couldn't get comfortable on the bed." I said as I sat up as I tried to act as if nothing hurt.

"So you chose the most uncomfortable piece of shit we have in the house."

"Mom needs me at the shop." I said as I walked passed him and went to the room. As I closed the bathroom door I heard him take off.

~A~

When I arrived at the shop I noticed Hap was not there, I grabbed my purse and walked over to the office.

"Morning" I said as I went over to get a cup of coffee.

"You look better." said mom as I put my purse on the desk.

"Makeup helps" I said as I sat down. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"Yeah join the club." she said as I just shook my head.

"Did you see the car?" asked mom as Tig walked in.

"I thought both of you already knew how it ended up." he said as he crossed his arms.

"Nah we were out of it. Hows Bobby?" I asked as I changed the topic as I didn't miss the way Tig was looking at us the same way Neeta did.

"He's good at the bar nursing his pain." he said as I got up and left the office.

"How are you?" Unser asked as I bumped into him.

"Still here." I said as I finally noticed mom's car. What the hell did you do?" I asked as I looked at the car as Unser just shook his head as he walked over to the office as I continued my way to the clubhouse.

"Oh baby girl" said Clay as I entered the clubhouse.

"Wow I look that bad" I said as I put my purse on the bar and took off my sunglasses as he came over and gave me a hug as he kissed my head.

"You look better than Bobby" he said as I laughed as I shook my head and walked over to Bobby.

"How are you doing?" I asked as he put an arm around me.

"Tara hooked me up on some strong pain killers." he said as I thought as maybe Tara could get me something to help me sleep.

"Those always help." I said as I noticed mom walked in.

"Going to Luann's need to drop off some shit" she said as I kissed Bobby good bye and followed mom outside.

"Can I trust you two driving?" called out dad as I noticed he was standing with Tig and Hap.

"Yeah I'm just child locking her door." I whispered as mom hit my arm as she flipped Clay off.

"The club is in the porn business." announced mom as I started the car.

"What since when?" I asked as I looked over at her as I drove to the club's warehouse.

"Oh perfect just what Hap needs unlimited access to porn pussy when I can't give him any."

~A~

"Welcome to Cara Cara." announced Luann happily.

"I hate it already" I said as looked around at her talent as mom hit my shoulder.

"Stop hitting me" I said as Luann came over to us and pulled us into a hug.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as I pulled away.

"Heard about the car accident I was really worried." she said as I looked over at mom as she rolled her eyes.

"We are fine." she said as I down.

"Layla can you get us some waters" called out Luann as I tuned out the conversation as I stared at the ceiling.

~A~

"Hey Jess lets go" said mom as she patted my leg as I woke up.

"I really need to be able to sleep more." I said as I followed her outside.

"You want to stay at the house tonight?" she asked as I drove back to the clubhouse.

"No I'll be right might visit Abel later, but I have something to do."

"Jess"

"Mom we can't be together all day" I said as she just nodded and closed the door as I left to go to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital I called Tara as I walked in. She told me to meet her by the receptionists desk.

"Jess is everything alright?" she asked as the receptionist kept her eyes on us.

"Hey I need your help, I don't want to got to Luann." I couldn't really trust Luann since Hap could get anything out of her.

"Yeah anything." she said as we walked away from the desk. "Hows the pain you need something?" she asked.

"Yeah I can't sleep well I just need something to get me past these few days."

"Maybe you should talk to Dr. Lich she might be able to help you Jess it's confidential." she suggested.

"Oh believe me that's the last thing I need." I said as she wrote me a prescription.

"It might help." she said as she handed me the slip of paper.

"I'll keep it in mind." I said as I grabbed it. "Thanks" I said as I walked away.

"Jess just do me one favor" said Tara as I closed my eyes as she joined me on the elevator. "It won't hurt to try."

"Alright one session." I said as I walked away maybe it won't be that bad oh who am I kidding.

~A~

When I arrived at the pharmacy I ignored the looks that I got as I waited for the pills. Just what the people needed to see me as a beaten Old lady.

"Hey Princess"

"Fuck off Darby" I said as my phone began to ring. I noticed it was Hap as I put it on silent.

"What the hell happened to you?" asked Darby as he grabbed my arm as I was going to walk away.

"Don't touch me." I said as I pulled away from him. I noticed everyone was looking at us as I went to pick up the prescription as they called me out.

"Jessica" he called out as I reached my car. What the hell was his problem.

"We have a problem here." said Unser as Darby just walked away.

"Everything is good Chief" I said as I got in the car and headed over to Jax's house. Abel may be the only thing that could calm my nerves right now.

~A~

I walked into Jax's house as I put my things on the couch I heard Neeta in the kitchen as Abel began to cry.

"Hey baby boy let's go get your bottle." I said as I carried him out of the room.

"Want to do the feeding?" asked Neeta as I walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah" I said as I grabbed the bottle and walked back to the room as Neeta followed me.

"You ready to talk?" asked Neeta as I sat down.

"There's nothing to talk about." I responded as she sat down on the couch.

"Jessica you know I'm not stupid so you have two choices here."

"Neeta it doesn't matter if I say something it already happened nothing can change that."

"And keeping this to yourself is going to help you, you and your mother are wrong you have people willing to do what is necessary to protect you. You don't think Happy deserves to know what is going on with his wife?"

"If I tell him I'm going to lose him, I'm going to lose him either way." I said as she held me as I began to cry.

"I'm alright I'll get better. There's nothing he could do so it doesn't matter" I said as stood up as I put Abel back in the crib as he went to sleep.

"Jess for once stop trying to fix things yourself."

"Neeta I got everything under control" I said as I left the room and grabbed my things and left the house.

I did not have this under control as always and I had to find a way to change that because I'm just so tired of this shit.

~Happy~

I arrived at the house as I walked in I noticed Jess was already home, I knew something was up and she was hiding something. It was pissing me off we were going to settle this bullshit right now.

Jess was curled up on the couch as I turned on the light of the living room. At least she wasn't fucking screaming this time as I turned off the light her phone began to ring.

I checked her phone as I noticed it was Gemma, I turned it off as I picked her up from the couch and carried her over to the room.

I left the light off as I laid Jess on the bed as I removed the sweater she was wearing as she curled up again and let out a small whimper as I put my arms around her.

"I love you"

(Thank you for reading and Reviewing)


	15. Is it worth it?

It had been several weeks after the attack and it was just getting worse and worse as time went by between me and Hap as I tried to distance myself from him which pissed him off and I did not blame him.

Mom kept getting on my nerves as she kept reminding me that what we were doing was for the club even though it meant screwing up my relationship.

I kept myself busy at the office as I tried to clean up and make sure everything was in order. As I was filing as I heard a knock on the office, which was something that was not normal around here. I turned around as I saw a guy standing by the door.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I closed the cabinet and went to the desk.

"Isn't this one of my lucky days." he said as I was confused as I had no idea what he was talking about. "Excuse me" I said as I looked at the guy as I crossed my arms in front of me as I began to feel uncomfortable as he stared at my body.

"Sorry I'm new to Charming and for some reason I keep meeting all these beautiful women" he said as Tig walked in and over heard him.

"What do you want?" mumbled Tig as he came and stood in front of me.

"Need someone to look at my car." he said as he looked at me as Tig grabbed the work order and a pen slamming it on his chest as he walked passed him. "Well let's go. You can do the paper work outside" said Tig as he left the office.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Lowman." he said as he followed Tig outside as mom walked in.

"Who the hell was that?" mom asked as she sat down as I kept my eye on the guy.

"I have no idea." I said going back to what I was doing as mom stood up and looked out the window.

"You still mad at me?" she asked as I grabbed my things as this was the last place I wanted to be was in a room with her.

"I'll call you later" I called out as I walked over to my car.

As I closed the car door my phone began to ring and I noticed it was Bobby.

"Hey."

"Your mother has something that you need to bring over at Cara Cara." he said as I was regretting answering the phone.

"Alright" I said as I hung up and went back to the office as mom was there with the software ready for me. "Thanks" I said as I grabbed it and left the office.

~A~

Arriving at Jax's house I made sure my phone was silent as I walked into the house. I checked on Abel as he was asleep so I went straight to the kitchen as Neeta already had my cup of coffee ready for me.

"Alright let's begin" she said as I looked at her I don't know why she always started like this and couldn't we just talk.

"I'm not praying" I said as she opened her eyes.

"I'll pray you just grab my hand." she said as I closed my eyes and held her hand.

The first week we started doing this I would tune her out and think about other things but lately and when she prayed it relaxed me.

"Alright so where did we leave off last time." she asked as she always made me feel as if we were talking about things in order rather than just talking about whatever came to my mind.

"He is not talking to me and it is certain that he hates me." I said as Neeta just shook her head. "I can be near him but I feel better when there is a distance between us."

"So how are you two still together?" she asked as I just shrugged.

"Excuses and well it helps that he is Nomad."

"Jess none of that is helping, all that this is doing is driving you guys apart not giving you space." she said as I may agree with her but was not going to tell her.

"Look right now he is pissed at me because he thinks I stopped taking my heart medication and..

"So you think lying to him is the best way to do this."

"Well I think it's better him mad at me for now."

"You're going to lose him Jessica and not because you were raped."

"I know that and I probably lost him when I told him I was in a car accident, but it's always like this. I lose the people that I love every time you think I would be used to it now."

"You didn't lose him the last time."

"That was because I wasn't with him." I explained.

"So what your just going to give up?"

"I'm not giving up Neeta, and who keeps calling me." I said as I grabbed my phone as I noticed it kept turning on. "Shit"

"What?" she asked as she grabbed the cups from the table.

"I forgot I had something to drop off at the cum station." I said as Neeta slapped my arm. "Sorry I meant Cara Cara." I said as I grabbed my bag and headed outside.

If I never had to come here would be a wish come true, having the guys over here affected the shop since we only had two full time mechanics.

I walked into the warehouse bumping into Piney on the way to the offices, I didn't find Bobby anywhere and he didn't answer his phone so I went to Luann's office.

"Hey Luann have you.. Oh shit" I said as I closed the door and walked away that was something I should have never seen in my entire life. I just had to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Hey what's your problem?" asked Piney.

"Everything is good." I said as I walked passed him and left Cara Cara.

~A~

There had to be a reason for Bobby and Luann to be together right?

Okay Jess forget what you saw and act as if nothing happened. I had already smoked two cigarettes by the time I arrived at the I grabbed my bag as I arrived at the club and walked over to the office.

"Oh here wasn't able to go" I said trying to get the image of Bobby and Luann put of my head.

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Was at Jax's with Abel" I answered as I looked over the paper work.

"I don't pay Neeta to play your therapist."

"Don't worry she isn't." I said as I sat down as mom passed me a test cup.

"Check up for H.I.V. is due." she said as I grabbed a bottle of water I was so sick of all this I just wanted it to be over. "How are things with Hap?"

"Well this week we are not speaking to each other."

"Clay wants to talk all of a sudden you should have seen our scene at Luann's." she said as I looked at her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Clay hates me."

"Don't you think it's time to say something of what the hell happened rather than just hide it." I said as I knew mom was now looking at me as if I was crazy.

"I get that we need to protect the club and the guys but at the cost of what mom because I'm tired of losing people that I love. I don't think I can handle losing Hap." I said as I got up and left the office as I passed by Clay who just patted my shoulder as I smiled at him as I went to my car.

~A~

I arrived at the house as my phone began to ring I noticed it was Luann and I just ignored it, I was not ready nor cared about her and Bobby right now.

I made sure I had everything before I unlocked the door as I was walking over to the door I stopped mid way as I noticed there were flowers in front of the door. I grabbed my phone and called mom as I just stood there.

"Mom where are you?" I asked as I looked at the roses still keeping a distance from them.

"Jessica what is it are you alright?" she asked as I grabbed the note.

"It's says it was nice seeing you Jessica." I said as I was not feeling safe at the moment and I was not looking forward to going into the house at this moment.

"What?"

"I just got home and there were pink roses outside with a card." I said as I kept my eyes on the flowers that were freaking me out.

"Come to Jax's" said mom as I picked up the flowers and walked over to the trash keeping the note to show to mom.

"Alright just throwing them away."

"You're throwing them away?" she asked what did she want me to do with them.

"I'm not fucking my husband and someone buys me roses which are freaking me out how do you think Hap will see that." I said as I put them in the trash can and ran to the car.

"Do you want me to stay on the line?"

"No I'm on my way." I said as I hung up and got in the car. I realized I was shaking over some fucking flowers I had to relax.

~A~

I was glad that I did not see any cops as I broke every law in charming as I made it to Jax. Mom was at the door as I arrived, I walked in handing her the card as I walked inside.

"I just find it a little off." I said as I sat down on the couch as she walked over to the door and made sure it was lock.

"Who did you see today that would buy you flowers." said mom as she joined me in the living room.

"I have no idea and not sure why I'm overreacting." I said maybe because whoever got the roses knew where I lived. "I didn't see anyone out of the ordinary today."

"It had to be someone you know, and knows your favorite color." said mom as I leaned back and closed my eyes. "Well we know it ain't the guys nor Hap he never buys you flowers I doubt at this time he will start." she said as I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe it was nothing." I said as Jax and Tara walked in, Jax gave me and mom a kiss as he walked over to his room as Tara stayed looking at us.

"Had a great time?" asked mom as I stood up I didn't even know where Hap was and

"Everything alright?" she asked ignoring moms question.

"Yeah just here waiting with mom for Hap to call me when he arrives." I said coming up with whatever excuse knowing Hap wasn't going to get here till tomorrow.

"Hap's at Cara Cara" she said as mom looked at me. Son of a bitch.

"I guess we should leave" I said as mom grabbed her things.

"Well thanks for taking care of Abel, are you sure everything is alright?" she asked as mom kissed her goodbye.

"Everything's perfect" I said as I walked over to my car.

"Jess" called out mom.

"I'm going home." I said as she grabbed my arm. "Mom forget it I'm tired of this bullshit." I said as I got in my car and left. I noticed she was following me as I arrived at the house.

"Mom everything is good they were just flowers" I said as she got out of the truck.

"I know just making sure you are safe at the house she said as she grabbed her gun as I grabbed my keys to the house.

When I opened the door Killer greeted us as we walked in, he seemed to know we were checking the house as he followed us and seemed to also be checking for something.

"Everything is clear" I said there was no way Killer would be calm if someone was inside the house.

"Alright I love you" said mom as she gave me a kiss and I walked over to the door with her. "Hey maybe you should stay at the house."

"I'm fine." I said as I closed the door and locked it.

After changing I went over to the living room and turned off the light as I had every light in the house turned on. Once I turned off the light someone began banging on the door and I grabbed my gun right away.

"Jess open the fucking door" yelled out Hap as I turned on the light as I put my gun away as it seemed my heart was beating again.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked as I opened the door.

"Forgot my key" said Hap as he walked in as I locked the door and turned off the light as he walked over to the room.

"So banging the door as if you were the damn cops rather than using our phone." I said as I walked into the room.

"What disappointed I wasn't your little chief. You seem to fucking talk more to him than me bitch."

"Really Hap. Unser? You know what why don't you go back and get your dick wet at Cara Cara. Oh wait you already did that didn't you. You know what forget it." I said as I turned off the light as I removed the covers.

"No no more forget it where going to get over this shit now." said Hap as he grabbed my arm as he turned me around to face him. "You have been acting like a cold bitch ever since that fucking car accident." he said as he tightened his hold on me. "I can't fucking touch you without you moving away from me so what the fuck do you expect me to do? Wait?"

"It's just stress the accident, and Donna it's just a little too much" I said as I tried to get out of his grasp as I did not want to deal with this at all. I should have just stayed at mom's house. Hap didn't say anything as he let me go as I just sat on the bed as he left the room. I laid back down hoping Hap would just drop everything and leave.

I opened my eyes as he walked right back into the room and right away I knew this was far from over as I just sat up as he paced the room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" asked Hap as he moved over to me as he out his hand on my neck as he pushed me back on the bed. I tried to move his hand from my neck as I pushed him back.

"Hap just get off me" I said as I pushed him back as I tried to sit up as he tightened his hold on my neck. "Hap let me go" I said as I pushed his arm back as he had me pinned on the bed. I moved my legs as I tried to push him away with them as he wouldn't move.

"I know your hiding something from me and I've reached a point where I don't give a fuck on how I'm going to get it out of you"

"You threatening me is not going to get you anything because there is nothing to say. I just want you to leave me alone" I said as he finally moved his hand as he stayed above me.

"When I find out whatever your hiding from me your going to hope you had told me." he said as I sat up. I knew this night was far from over.

(Thanks for reading and Reviewing.)


	16. Enough is Enough

It was early and the shop was already over flowing with customers and Jess wouldn't answer her damn phone. As I was looking for some damn car keys that I was sure were not in here I noticed Jess was pulling into the shop with Hap following behind her.

I watched as she got out of the car as Hap grabbed her arm as she pushed him away as she passed by the guys and made her way to the office.

"Why didn't you answer your... What happened to your lip?" I asked as she walked in and I noticed she had a busted lip.

"Nothing" she said as Piney shook his head and left the office with the customer as Jess went thru the mail. "It's all for you" she said as she dumped it back on the desk as Hap walked in and she left the office, before Hap followed her I noticed he had a cut above his eyebrow. What the hell did these two do to each other?

As I went to say goodbye to the guys and make sure they had everything ready for the run I noticed Hap was with Jess as I told Clay goodbye.

"Everything alright with those two?" Clay asked as Jess gave Hap a quick kiss and went over to hug Jax.

"I'll take care of it." I said as it was certain they were pissed at each other and I knew why it was as I went back to the office and got my things I had something to do first.

"Piney keep an eye on the crazy." I said as he just nodded as I got in my truck as the guys left the clubhouse.

~Jess~

I went back to the office and I noticed mom was not even there as I began to work on the paper work as I tried not to fall asleep since I did not have a chance to sleep last night.

My relationship with Hap had crossed a line last night and I knew we were still not done.

"Piney said to close up the shop." announced Dog as they punched out as I began to close up everything. What the hell was going on and where was Piney? What was I supposed to do now I was not in the mood to go with Neeta and I was still ignoring Luann's calls.

I locked up the office as I heard a truck stop behind me. "Get in" yelled Piney as he stopped in front of me. I looked around and noticed everything was closed so I just shrug my shoulder and got in the truck and beside he was not even asking me.

"Why do I have to go?" I asked as I put on the seat belt as I noticed he was already drinking.

"Your mother told me to keep an eye on the crazy and I'm guessing it's you" he said as we left the clubhouse as I dialed mom's number and it went straight to voice mail.

Piney passed the Patron as he grabbed me a straw as I closed my phone this was going to be a long day.

~Gemma~

So it was time to decide how I was going to handle all of this, the only thing I knew right now was that I had to keep it from Jess she would want to involve the club and that was not what I had in mind.

As I was driving over to Jess's house I noticed Tara was following me. Now what?

"Hey Unser was worried about you." she said as she got out of her car. Damn people can't stay out of my business.

"So what you followed me here?" I asked as I looked for Jess's spare key she had given me.

"Why are we at Jess's house and where is she?" she asked as I opened the door and we walked in.

"What the hell happened in here?' I asked as I noticed there was glass everywhere and everything was broken.

"You think something happened to her?" asked Tara as I rolled my eyes I had seen this all before.

"No I have a feeling her and Happy did this shit." I said as I got my phone and called Jess. The phone went straight to voice mail as it rang once. I walked over to the kitchen as everything was also broken even the goddamn walls had holes in them. Tara began to look around as she seemed in shock to what she was seeing.

"Um the room is intact and I'm pretty sure the dog in there does not like me." she said as I closed the back door.

"I'm not surprised" I said as I made sure Killer got back in the room before he cut himself and Jess would end up killing me.

"Gemma this is not normal and we both know why things probably escalated to this point it's affecting everyone around you two."

"Shit might have gotten a little out of hand nothing they can't handle."

"A little." she said as she looked around.

"Hey it ain't your shit to deal with and besides I'm dealing with it I will take care of all this."

~Jess~

I stretched my legs as I noticed we were already close to where the guys were waiting for Piney, mom had called me awhile back but I ignored the call. I looked outside the window as Piney began to yell rather than sing the songs that were on the radio as he laughed to himself claiming it was just dementia and I called it tequila.

"I know your dealing with something?" he said as I looked over at him as he turned off the radio.

"I'm alright, it's ...

"No and I doubt it was the car accident you ladies are too strong to be that affected by some shit like that" said Piney as he passed me the bottle. "Is it Donna?"

"It's neither" I said as I took a sip and handed it back to him I had a feeling I was the one going to be driving back.

"Opie is also dealing with some shit delving himself into the club not that it's bad but he is avoiding his kids." he said as I began to feel guilty all this shit I was dealing with and I also had been neglecting the kids.

"Well maybe it wasn't enough that he made the guy that killed Donna pay." I said as he scoffed.

"That was all bullshit" he said as we arrived where the guys were.

"What do you mean?" I asked as Clay opened my door.

"What are you doing here and where the hell is your mother?" he asked as he helped me out of the truck.

"If I knew I wouldn't be here." I said as he went over to Piney as I noticed Tig wasn't even here.

Once I heard Bobby ask where the bounty hunters were I realized this was not good, what the hell did Tig have that was that he was picked up by Bounty hunters.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" asked Hap as he grabbed my arm and moved me away from the guys.

"Don't worry I'm not here to ruin your whore fest." I said as I walked passed him as I noticed Jax push Clay.

I went over to sit down with with Bobby and Opie as the guys figured out what they were going to do as I noticed Hap was glaring at me. Asshole.

As I talked to Bobby I now know what happened and I felt bad for him as he doesn't want to lose his first bike.

"This is not good." I said as Jax got on the back of the truck followed by Chibs and Half sack and also Hap.

"Nope" said Opie as they took off they were going to bring Tig back and hopefully not get arrested in the process.

"Shit" yelled out Clay.

"What is going on with Jax and Clay?" I asked as I noticed Clay go over to his bike.

"Some shit" said Opie as I got up and walked over to Clay I leaned on his bike as I stood next to him.

"Hey baby girl" he said as I smiled at him.

"You and Hap doing alright?" he asked.

"Yeah how are the hands?" I asked as he put an arm around me.

"Still good it's just been a shitty day."

"Tell me about it." I said as I agreed with him."You and Jax will be alright just a stressful day he's alright just a little lost." I said as he kissed my head as I noticed the guys were back.

"Yeah don't worry about it I got it covered." he said as we walked over to the truck.

"What happened to you?" I asked Tig as I noticed his face as the guys laughed.

"I provoked them." said Tig to me as we helped him off the back off the truck.

"I can tell." I said as the guys loaded Tig's bike as I told them goodbye and joined Piney. As Clay closed the door I leaned on Tig as he put an arm around me as I closed my eyes.

~A~

Piney had made sure one of the guys brought my car so that I could drop off Tig after the hospital so now all we had to do was wait for him to get patched up.

"How are you dealing all this without Donna? You two were really close, so many times I had to bail your asses out of jail before Clay found out." he said as I laughed as I remembered all the crazy shit none of the guys knew thanks to Tig. "I'm sorry you lost her Jess." he said as I smiled at him the pain killers Bobby gave him must be really working with the tequila.

"It's alright nothing could change that, the one responsible was already taken care of so what else could we do."

"Yeah"

"What is taking them so long?" I said as I grabbed a magazine not really in the mood to talk about Donna.

"What is going on with you and Hap?" he asked as we waited for the nurse.

"Nothing" I said as Tig took away the magazine I was pretending to read.

"Your lip tells me other wise" he said as I looked over at him.

"What happens between me and my old man is none of the club's business" I said as he grabbed my arm.

"I have been protecting you since I know you I will deal with Hap no matter that he is my brother no one fucking touches you like that." he said as the nurse came in to give him some more pain killers while we waited on the one that was going to check on his knee.

I loved Tig he did have my back but what was between me and Hap was for us to deal with.

"I'm alright Tig nothing I can't handle" I said as he let go of my arm.

"Hey the guy that was checking you out at the shop yesterday."

"What about him?" I asked as I would put up with this conversation since it didn't matter.

"Yeah I think he probably is involved with Zobelle the guy that showed up at Bobby's home coming. So stay clear of him and the Nazis" he mumbled.

"Wait so these guys are supremacists right?" I said as he just nodded and laid back. So when they told us to tell Clay to stop selling weapons to blacks and wetbacks it was from Zobelle and Weston.

"Yeah all this white power bullshit stop our shit and what not." he said as I began to think if mom knew I doubt it.

~A~

After dropping off Tig at the clubhouse I made my way to mom's house as it was too much information and very important to discuss on the phone.  
>"Mom" I called out as I entered the house and went straight to the kitchen.<p>

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked as she was sitting at the table.

"Oh with Tig at St. Thomas but that's not why I'm here."

"Shit"

"Nah hes fine I dropped him off at the clubhouse after the hospital." I said as I saw what was on the table. I noticed the mask was on top of a Sherman's bag. "You know it was Zobelle?" I asked as I picked up the mask.

"Yeah that was in the mail today. How did you find out?" she asked as I sat down.

"Tig said that Zobelle and his guys were the ones that told them to stop selling guns to the Mayans and Niners at Bobby's party" I said as now I knew who it was it was time to tell Hap and settle all this shit. They were men and why would they need us protecting them in the first place.

"We can't tell the club Jess."

"What mom I can't do this anymore my relationship with Happy never involved secrets that's how I knew it worked. Ever since this shit happened everything is turning into shit." I said as I had really reached a point where I knew all this was not worth all the trouble.

"Alright so what do you have in mind?" I asked as she stood up. "We deal with our own shit." I suggested not knowing if we had it in us do make these assholes pay.

"I couldn't kill Weston today I had a perfect shot and I couldn't do it." she said as I got up.

"Alright that settles it" I said as I grabbed my phone.

"Jess what are you doing?"

"I'm calling Hap you just told me you couldn't kill Weston and you have evidence that he was part of our rape, Hap can take care of this." I said as I began to dial Hap's number as mom was trying to take away my phone. I wasn't going to tell him by phone but I was ready to talk to him as soon as he got back.

"Hello" answered a bitch as my heart sank.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked as I was already planning driving up there and putting a bullet in this bitch's head. "Fucking bitch she hanged up on me." I said as I threw the phone at the wall.

"Wait who did you call?" asked mom as she looked at my broken phone then back at me.

"Happy and he let a whore answer the phone" I said I got up. Son of a bitch. You know what we don't need them were dealing with this alone."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	17. Half the Truth

We had decided to sleep on it well I really needed the night to sleep so I stayed at mom's house. I was pissed at mom since she didn't want to talk about it and now we were just waiting for the guys to get here. Mom got up as she heard the guys pull in as all the hangarounds went outside to greet the guys.

"Hows Tiggy?" asked Bobby as the guys walked in it seemed he was still blaming himself and I know for a fact that he did not get rid of his bike.

"I'm alright." announced Tig as he walked into the clubhouse and took my coffee as he glared at Bobby.

I closed my eyes as Hap put his arm around him, I got up and followed him to the dorms as I preferred not to talk to him right now but at the same time I wanted to talk about it.

"Why did you go crying to Tig yesterday? He asked as he closed the door, why doesn't Tig ever listened when I tell him not to do anything.

"I didn't tell him anything." I said "Why the fuck did a whore answer your phone last night?"

"That shit won't happen again." he said as I looked at him and crossed my arms. "I took care of it." he added as if it made things better.

"Is the bitch dead?" I asked. "Exactly" I said taking Hap's silence as a no and walked back to the bar.

~A~

"Jess mom said to take Abel to the appointment Neeta can't make it." said Jax as he walked inside the clubhouse and headed my way.

"Wait why can't mom take him?" I asked as he handed him over.

"She said she was busy he has to be there in thirty minutes." he said as I passed Abel to Clay as I got up she probably wanted to keep me busy.

"Alright" I said as I grabbed my things and headed outside not like if I mind spending time with Abel but I had other things I wanted to do today.

"Jess where are you going?" asked mom as I bumped into her as I left the clubhouse.

"I'm taking Abel to the doctor thanks to you, and don't think I'm not planning anything."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked as she got in front of me.

"No what?"

"Like a baby named Abel you know the one that has the appointment." she said as she turned me around back to the clubhouse.

"Right" I said as I went inside.

"Forgot someone?" asked Clay as he handed Abel over.

"No he just wanted to spend quality time with his grandfather." I said as I grabbed his things and went outside.

"Abel you have to cry or something to warn me that I'm leaving you behind." I told Abel as he just smiled up at me.

"Can we trust her with Abel?" Jax asked as I flipped him off as mom hit him and walked over to the office.

"Hey I can handle it." I said as I went over to my car before I changed my mind.

~Gemma~

It had been an hour since Jess left and right now no call was a good thing. I sat down as the phone began to ring. Please don't be Jess telling me she forgot Abel somewhere.

"Gemma I need you it's about Otto" said Luann as she hung up as I realized she was crying. I dialed Jess's number so that she could pick me up and join me to go calm down Luann.

"Hey mom just got out you needed something?" answered Jess.

"Yeah come pick me up." I said as I hung up as I noticed the guys were all walking back into the clubhouse.

~A~

As I noticed Jess pull in I grabbed my bag and walked over to her car.

"So what happened?" she asked as I got in and saw that Abel was asleep.

"I don't know something with Otto." I said as we left the club.

"So she is having a mental breakdown and you dragged me along." she said I had to keep her occupied right now it was not a good thing for Jess to have time on her hands.

"I will make sure she is alright, you can wait with Piney."

"Alright I will be in the lounge hopefully it's more sanitary for Abel." she said as we arrived at the studio.

~Jess~

I walked into the lounge as mom went over to Luann's office, thankfully it was empty as I made the bottle for Abel.

"Going to help Luann with something?" asked Piney as he walked into the lounge.

"No just waiting on mom, shouldn't you be at the clubhouse?"

"That's where I am heading." he said as he walked away as I set Abel on the table and grabbed my phone and called Neeta but it went straight to voice mail.

"Hi." said the blond as she walked in and smiled at me.

"Hey."

"Once they grow up, you miss them as babies." she said as she pointed to Abel "I got a boy too, Piper he thinks he already is a grown up. Oh I'm Lyla by the way." she said.

"Jess."

"Oh your Jax's sister nice to meet you." she said as she walked out of the lounge. I'm pretty sure we have met before if I'm not mistaken.

"Ugh diaper change Abel just because I don't trust her I would have asked her to deal with you" I said to Abel as he just looked at me as I grabbed his bag and headed to the restroom. "I really doubt they have a changing table." I made sure the counter was clean and put the changing mat on the counter so that I could put him down.

"Alright we can do this." I said as I grabbed a diaper and some wipes as he began to kick.

"No eww shit Abel." I said I realized he had peed me as I removed his pamper. "Abel we were having such a great day" I said as Abel just giggled. "Oh you think this is funny, I will find out a way to make your father pay." I said as I finished up and washed my hands and picked him and left the restroom.

"My son already chilling at the porn studio." said Jax as he walked over to us.

"Your son peed on me." I said as I handed him over to Jax. Or maybe I would make Neeta pay as I needed time for myself.

"That's my son. Hows Luann?"

"Mom's trying to console her how bad is it?"

"Lost his sight from his good eye." he said as I just shook my head.

"Shit" I said as I noticed the whore I hated the most walked into the studio not hiding the satisfaction in her face when she saw Jax.

"Oh Jax can I hold him" said Ima in her fakest voice as she reached out to pick up Abel. I don't think she ever carried a baby and there was no way she was touching Abel. Over my dead body.

"Oh no you don't" I said as Jax handed Abel over to me before Ima touched him and I walked over to Bobby's office as I heard the guys begin to laugh.

"Hey let's go she is alright just waiting on a call from Rosen." said mom as I got up and grabbed everything.

"Is there a reason why you are not talking to Luann?" asked mom as we walked over to the car.

"No." I said as mom grabbed the keys. I really did not want her driving my car but before I even said anything she was already behind the wheel.

"So do you mind if I head to the house, rest awhile then we can head back to the shop it's a slow day anyway." she said.

"Abel needs another nap." I said as I didn't mind taking one too.

"Alright shit" she said as she stopped the car.

"What?" I asked as I sat up and saw the guys fighting with Zobelle's guys as Clay and Unser just watched. "What do you think it's about?" I asked as I noticed Hale and several other patrol cars arrived.

"You think they had something to do with Otto's attack." she asked as I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Mom now they are attacking the guys." I said as she just drove away from the scene as Charming P.D arrived. "Really mom you still don't think we need to handle this?"

"Let's just go to the house" she said as now I knew why she was driving.

~A~

As me and Abel were on mom's bed as she was looking for something. Once she went thru some of her boxes she took out a book and carried it over to the bed.

"What's that?" I asked as I looked her way as she opened and I noticed it was the book Jax had found in storage. "He gave you one?" I asked as she just shook her head.

"Found it in one of Jax's boxes." she said as if it was nothing.

"Why have I given you a key to my house?" I asked as she smiled at me.

"Talking about your house got some guys to fix it up." she said as I really began to question myself why she had a key.

"Nothing" I said as I looked at the ceiling as mom began to read.

"It didn't look like nothing." she said as I closed my eyes.

"All this shit is taking a toll on us and Hap needed to destroy all my shit" I said as mom just sighed. "I'm making the asshole pay buying everything new so it a win for me."

"Jess"

"It's how we deal with our shit mom."

"I went to see Dr. Lich, Tara suggested it." she said as I sat up.

"Oh I hate that bitch when I went one was catatonic and the other two were crying, I cry enough as it is." I said.

"Tell me about it probably give her a heart attack with all our shit combined." she said as I agreed and moved next to her.

"So dad felt alone." I asked as she closed the book and leaned back.

"After Tommy your father went thru a rough patch baby he wasn't the same guy he lost himself." she said mom as we both got silent.

"Let's get out of here the guys should be out of church in a few minutes." said mom as she stood up from the bed.

"How did you know it was alright to move on with Clay?"

"I loved your father and I still do that well never change. I just had to give my heart a second chance" she said as she surprised me with her answer as I followed her out of the room.

~A~

When we got to the clubhouse I noticed Tara was already there waiting for Jax, why couldn't she take care of Abel?

"Hey" I said as I sat down at the picnic table putting Abel's carrier in the middle of the table as mom joined me as Tara just stood there.

"Need an invitation?" mom asked as she just shook her head no and sat down.

"That's one of Luann's girls with Opie" said Tara as we looked over to where they were.

"What does she want with Opie?" I asked as I noticed she had given him a paper.

"Maybe a good time." mom suggested as Tara just looked at her.

"Porn pussy is the last thing Opie needs." I said as mom just shrug her shoulders.

Mom turned around and noticed Jax and Piney leave the clubhouse looking as if something went down at Church.

"What's wrong?" mom asked as I noticed Clay was not outside nor was Bobby.

"Tough vote." he said as Piney just went over to the shop as mom went inside looking for Clay.

As Jax and Tara are in lovers la la land Abel begins to cry, as I noticed neither one of them was going to even pay attention to him I picked him up and got up from the table.

I noticed Hap was on his way to where I was, he stood in front of me as I tried to sooth Abel so that he would stop crying and finally worked.

"Quinn needs me to do a job." he said as I looked over what the guys were doing at the shop and just nodded.

Out of nowhere something was going wrong with Chibs as he yelled something as he tried to run out of the van.

"Hap." I said as he pushed me toward the clubhouse wall as I did my best to cover Abel's ears as Hap put his arms around us as we heard the explosion.

"Get inside." Hap said as mom followed me as Tara stayed with Chibs who was on the ground.

Once me and mom made sure Abel was alright we went outside as Clay and Unser stayed inside to talk about what just happened.

I sat down at the table as Hap stood next to me as the ambulance left and Hap went inside as Tara joined us and told us that she will be at St. Thomas taking care of Chibs.

"Am I in danger?" asked Tara as I looked over at mom. Wouldn't someone that was involved with the club already know the dangers that came with being with a patched member. No one was safe.

"The guys will deal with this don't worry." I said to Tara to try to at least calm her down as Jax went inside.

"Yeah" said mom as Tara turned to see us.

"Don't you think all this would have been avoided if you would have told the club." said Tara to mom. What the hell did she think she was doing, she was probably going to make mom feel guilty over shit we can't control.

"Hey nothing would change this" I said as I stood up as mom got in between us.

"Alright enough" said mom as Tara walked away. "Hey it's not our fault." said mom as I sat down

"It's going to be a tough night for the club."

"Yeah first Otto now Chibs they are going to retaliate." she said as I hoped they knew what they were doing.

"I'm going home" I said as I put out the cigarette and grabbed my things as mom just stared at the scene.

"You want me to stay with you?"

"No baby, you mind taking Abel tonight?" she asked as I just grabbed Abel's things as she went inside.

As I walked over to the car I noticed Hap was following me.

"When are you leaving?" I asked as Hap opened the door for me.

"Clay needs me, already called Quinn" he said as I put Abel in the car. "I know your pissed at me but call me when you get home." said Hap as I nodded.

"I will" I said as I pulled him into a hug as he kissed me.

"Jess calm down everything is going to be alright." he said as I wanted to believe him but we almost just saw Chibs explode.

"Yeah." I said as I got in the car and headed home.

I sat up on the bed as I kept hearing every little noise in the house, I turned on the light and got up from the bed as I walked over to the living room making sure everything was locked. I walked back into the room and noticed Killer did not move from the bed as he was with Abel all he did was stare at him as I turned off the light and got back in bed, when I got to the house I had called Hap and it went straight to voice mail so they were probably still in church.

I woke up as I heard the door close as Hap turned on the light, I expected him to stay at the clubhouse as he turned off the light as he had striped down to his boxers.

"Anything on Chibs" I asked as he laid his head on my stomach.

"No"

"Please promise me you will be careful Hap with whatever you guys plan on doing." I said as he kept moving his hand up and down my leg.

"You still care about me?" he asked as I looked at him, his question surprised me as he had never asked me that.

"Yeah I love you that's not going to change" I said as he moved up as he gave me a kiss.

"I need you." he said as he wrapped my legs around him as I looked up at him as he gave me a kiss as I allowed him to take off my shirt.

We moved over to the floor as I made sure Abel was safe alone on the bed as Hap began to kiss my neck as I knew I had to remain calm and not panic as I was worried but I had to get rid of all the nerves as I knew Hap needed me.

"Jess are you okay?" he whispered as he placed a kiss on my lips.

"Yeah" I said as I really needed to stop trembling as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he prepared to enter me. "Just go slow please, it's just been awhile" I said as I held him closer to me as he nodded but did not say anything.

I bit my lip and moaned as I buried my face in his neck as he entered me as he held on tight to my hips as he began to move in and out of me slowly.

"I love you." I said as I ran my hands down his back as he held on to me as I hoped this would fix something but I knew it wasn't going to be enough.

"I love you Jess."

~The Next Day~

"Hey so for now everything is good." said Tara as she came out with Abel, mom had made me take him this morning to do a quick check up on his ears.

"That's good" I said as I stood up.

"About yesterday I'm sorry I even brought it up, it was just too much too handle at the time." she said as she sat down.

"We were both scared well get thru this Tara, it's not always like this." I said as she looked at me.

"I don't know how to process the fact that we are all in danger, something could happen to me or worse Abel."

"The guys are going to take care of it all we need to do is just be there for them for whatever they need." I said as I grabbed Abel's things.

"Is Neeta going to be able to take care of him today?"

"Yeah going to drop him off, as much as I love him I need my freedom." I said as I walked out and went to look for mom.

As I was getting into the elevator I bumped into Hale as he was on his way out.

"Hey can we talk?" asked Hale as he looked around and got back in I turned to look at him what did he want to talk about."I need something" he said as I was hoping he got on with it.

"Spit it out Hale."

"Unser told me about the warehouse involving you and Gemma." he said as I was already planning on ways I was going to kill Unser.

"You have got to be shitting me" I said as the elevator doors open as one of the hospitals administrators didn't hide her displeasure in seeing me. I just walked out as Hale followed me.

"Jess I already talked to Gemma, but I need more anything you can tell me." he said as he opened the chapel door.

"My mother talked to you about it?" I asked as we entered the chapel as I put Abel down as I turned to look at Hale. So my mother knew two were better than one against Unser and his big mouth.

"Yeah all of us know it was Zobelle, Gemma's description of the girl turns out to be his daughter." he said as I realized the blond who was pretending to be a mother was Zobelle's daughter. Fucking bitch. I wonder why mom decided not to share this shit to me but she told Hale.

"What do you get from this?" I asked as I cared to know why all of a sudden he was interested.

"Zobelle is bad for Charming." he stated.

"I don't remember anything." I said as I left the chapel and got my phone as I was going to call mom as I heard Hale.

"Jess your forgetting Abel." he called out as he carried Abel in his car seat.

"Shit" I said as I grabbed him and walked away.

~A~

Once I had dropped Abel off with Neeta I made my way over to main street as I parked my car across the cigar shop I noticed that no one was around and the windows were broken. I got out of the car and passed by as I looked in I noticed that a blonde was cleaning up.

"Sorry we are not open" she said as she didn't even look up as she kept cleaning as I stepped in as if I wouldn't of noticed.

"Oh that's too bad, my father would have loved some Cigars." I said as I wanted to see her face.

"We will open soon we are just dealing with some trash" she said as she finally looked at me. "Would you like a card?" she asked as she tried to stay calm.

"Oh no I'm sure we will see each other soon." I said as I walked out as Hale was arriving followed by Jax. What the hell were these two doing together? I got out of there before Jax realized it was me.

~A~

When I got to the shop I noticed the guys were getting ready for something as they were by the club van. I just hoped everything would go alright and they stayed safe.

"Jess." called out Unser as I walked into the office had some nerve coming here.

"Oh you and me need to talk" I said hitting him with my purse as mom walked over here and did the same thing as she closed the door.

"Alright I get both of you are mad but I had to will you let me explain."

~Juice~

We all get in the van as I noticed Jess hit Unser with her purse as Gemma did the same, I looked over at Hap and Clay as they stared at the girls and then at each other as they shook their heads and got in the van.

We had shit to take care of and we all knew Gemma and Jess were going to do what they wanted.

"Jax's following." announced Tig as Clay didn't say anything as we were close to the center.

"What the hell is he doing?" asked Tig as Jax kept trying to block our way.

"Pull over" called out Clay as Tig did what he said even though we were still not at the center. Clay was the first one to exit the van as he went straight up to Jax.

"What are you doing?" Clay asked Jax as they began to argue as Clay just blew him off as he walked back over to us as Jax shook his head. "Let's go." demanded Clay as he got back in the van as we all followed even though Jax disagreed.

Once we made our way over to the center we noticed patrol cars flashing there lights as we were getting closed.

"Shit" said Tig as we spot San Joaquin Sheriffs outside of the Christian center.

"What the hell are they doing here?" asked Bobby as Tig reversed as we went unnoticed by the cops.

"They picked up Zobelle" said Clay as Tig got as far away from the place as everyone was just quiet on the way back to the club. Shit would of gotten worse if we had arrived before the cops.

~Jess~

Mom did seem to have taken it hard to what had Tara said about how what happened to Chibs could have been avoided if we had said something by now. I think it hurt me more than anything to see her like that.

I walked over to my car as she stayed in the office as I noticed the Club van pull into the shop. I was glad they made it back, I got in my car and headed home I was thinking about going to Neeta's as I noticed Hap was behind me so I decided to go home.

I walked over to the house as Hap waited by his bike as I stopped as I noticed there were flower petals on the floor leading the way to the door.

"What's wrong?" Hap asked as I just stared at them.

"Nothing" I said as he came over and saw the petals and a few roses.

"What are these doing here?"

"A couple of nights ago I found a dozen roses on the doorstep, I just threw them away and went straight to mom's house" I said as I looked over at him as he was glaring at me. You tell him the truth he gets pissed, you don't tell him he still gets pissed make up your damn mind.

"Why the fuck didn't you call me" he growled.

"That was the night your whore answered." I said as I walked over to the door as Hap grabbed my arm and got in front of me as he went in first. I walked passed him as he made sure everything was alright.

"I'm heading back to the club" he said as I walked over to the room. "Your staying at Gemma's" he called out there was no way I was not staying in my house.

"Hap.." I froze up as I heard a gun shot.

"Jessica" called out Hap as I made my way out of the room I noticed there was someone on the floor in front of Hap.

I sat down as Hap looked for the guys wallet as I noticed he was the guy from the shop, the one Tig wanted me to stay clear off. What was he doing at the house?

"He was a Fed." said Hap as he just looked at him and then at me as he threw the wallet at the guy's chest.

"Did you just say Fed..

"Jessica just call Clay Now."

(Thanks for Reading and Reviewing)


	18. The World is Down

"Hey Clay's on his way." said Tig as he walked in and stopped as he looked at the guy on the floor. "What the hell happened?" he asked as he walked over to me. "Why the hell are you sitting next to him?" he asked as as he grabbed my arm and picked me up from the floor as Hap walked in from the back.

"Asshole was in the house." Hap said as Tig went to look at the guy.

"Hey Jess he's the guy at the shop that..." in my mind I was telling Tig to shut up as I felt Hap walking my way.

"Not only you didn't say shit over the fucking flowers. You met this son of a bitch. What were you fucking him?" he yelled at me as he grabbed me by the neck and slammed me into the wall.

"Get your fucking hands off me Hap."

"Hey Hap calm down brother." said Tig as he moved forward as I dug my nails on Hap's hand as he tightened his hold.

"Ain't your shit to get involved in Tig." growled Hap as he let me go.

"Everything alright here?" asked Clay as he walked in as Tig stood between me and Hap.

"Jesus Christ." said Jax as he noticed the guy.

"That's not all." said Tig as he threw the guy's wallet at Clay.

"Shit" stated Clay as he looked at Hap. "Really?"

"My house." said Hap as he glared over at me.

"Shit" said mom as she walked in and noticed what was going on.

"Gemma what are you doing here?" asked Clay as we all turned our attention to her.

"Jess didn't answer her phone." said mom as she walked over me. "What the hell happened?" asked mom as she moved my hair as I probably had a mark on my neck.

"Nothing I'm fine" I said as Jax kept looking at me. "Wait." I said as everyone looked at me as I walked out of the living room as I began to look for Killer.

"Jess what's wrong?" asked mom as I began going to all the rooms.

"I can't find Killer." I said as she just stared at me.

"Are you kidding me, there's a dead guy in your living room and your looking for a dog?" she yelled at me as I returned from the back yard.

"Yeah." I said as I walked passed her and went over to the living room.

"Where are you going?" asked Jax as I opened the front door.

"Can't find Killer." I said as all of them looked at me.

"Get your ass to the the clubhouse" Hap said as he pointed at me. One I was not leaving and staying at the clubhouse and two I don't really give as shit what he wants right now.

"I'm not leaving till I find him." I said to Hap as he was about to say something else.

"Alright you and Juice go look for Killer and then head to the clubhouse." said Clay before we made more of a big deal.

~A~

"So where does he go when he gets out?" asked Juice as we began to walk away from the house.

"He doesn't like to go out, only when I take him out to run but usually at the park." I answered as I knew it was not safe for him to be outside by himself.

"Why don't we call out for him?"

"Juice think about it we don't want cops right now, you really think calling out Killer at this hour is going to help us." I stated as I knew I was right.

"True" he said as we almost reached the park as we heard barking. "You think it him?" he asked as I tried to listen as we got closed.

"I hope so if not we are going to get attacked by a dog." I said as we looked around as we heard another bark.

"There's a pack of dogs." I pointed over there as Juice flashed the light over there.

"There are a lot of them." he said "Jess he may be part of them as I noticed Killer was among them.

"My dog is not a street dog, there is no way in hell he hangs out with those things." I said as Juice just shook his head. "Killer" I called out as he turned his head my way as he left the pack and ran over to me.

~A~

"You found him?" asked mom as I walked into the house as I made Juice wait with him outside.

"Yeah." I said as I walked over to the room to pack a bag.

"We should go." said mom as the guys carried the guy through the back door.

"Alright" I said as mom followed me outside as the guys cleaned up.

"You want me to stay at the clubhouse with you?" asked mom as I put Killer in the back seat.

"I'm staying at your house." I said as she just shook her head and got in her car there was no way I was staying at the clubhouse.

~A~

When we arrived at mom's house Killer ran in and went straight to the living room as he climbed the couch to mom's displeasure as I followed her to the kitchen.

"Everything alright with you and Hap?" mom asked as I sat down as she turned on the coffee machine as I lit a cigarette.

"No" I said as I picked up my hair. "I slept with Hap." I said as mom sat down and looked over at me.

"Tonight?" she asked as I shook my head no.

"The night that Chibs almost blew up" I said as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

"You felt alright?" she asked.

"Yeah had to keep my eyes open and I had already healed it just didn't feel what I always feel." I said as mom grabbed my hand.

"Everything is going to get better" she said as the front door opened.

"Hey Hap wanted you at the clubhouse." he said as she walked into the kitchen.

"I feel much safer here with you than waiting for Hap to arrive at the clubhouse" I said as I smiled up at him.

"I'll talk to Hap baby." he said as he kissed my head and walked out as mom turned to me and began to laugh.

"What" I said as I got up.

"You always pull the daddy card waiting for Clay to do your dirty work."

"No do I not." I said as I left the kitchen and headed upstairs as Killer followed me.

"Why don't you call Hap and let him know your staying over here?" she yelled.

"Because Clay is taking care of that he suggested it."

"You see." she yelled up the stairs.

"Goodnight mother."

~The Next Day~

As I began working on the work order Clay walked in slamming the door shut. "Everything alright?" I asked as I looked over at him as he sat down.

"Yeah" he said as I got back to what I was doing. "You and Hap having problems?" he asked as I looked over at him.

"No" I said as he raised an eyebrow at me as someone knocked, he opened it as Unser walked in.

"Morning" he called out.

"Zobelle still locked up?" Clay asked as I pretended to go back to work.

"No Hale was asked to release him this morning." he said as Clay stood up.

"Hold up Clay Stahl is back in town." he said.

"Shit" announced Clay as he walked outside. Why is she back?" Clay asked as they stood outside the office.

"Don't know yet." he said as I hope it wasn't for the guy Tig and Happy were taking care of as we speak.

~A~

As I noticed the rest of the guys had left with Clay as I went over to the garage to get one of the guys started on the inventory.

"Jessica" called out Mary as I was about to walk into the office. I turned around to see Mary with Ellie and Kenny following her. This is not good, I don't even think Opie is here.

"What's going on?" I asked as Ellie smiled at me.

"Where's Opie?" she asked as I tried to come up with something rather than club business.

"Doing some repos." I said as I knew she didn't believe me.

"Right and not club business."

"He is a little busy." I said as she just scoffed.

"Yeah well I got things to do" she said as she moved Ellie and Kenny toward me.

"Mary you can't just leave them here." I said as she turned around and closed the office door as I knew I could not handle another day with kids.

"Too bad when Opie gets here he can be a father to them that's what they need, I already asked Jax to talk to him nothing works." she said as she turned around and walked away.

"The kids need you not Piney." I called out as Mary turned around and walked over to me. I knew she was going to go see Piney right now.

"Go inside" Mary said as to the kids who listened and went into the office. "I did not sign up for this."

"No one did." I said as she just walked away.

"Mary" I called out as I noticed the guys arriving back as she just got in her car and left.

"Shit" I said as I walked into the office. "Alright I'm going to go look for your father." I said as I walked out and headed to the clubhouse.

~A~

Since I never found Opie all afternoon I kept them preoccupied in the office and realized they hadn't eaten all after noon.

After they ate I headed over to Opie's the kids headed to their room as I sat down as I realized it was the first time I was here since Donna died. I looked around everything looked the same as I just began to cry.

I went to the bathroom and cleaned my face as I heard knocking. I walked over to the door and checked who it was as I noticed it was that Lyla girl from Luann's.

"Are you alright?" she asked as I opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked resisting the urge to slam the door in her face.

"Oh I told Opie I was going to take my kid Piper to get some ice scream I offered to take Opie's kids and he said they were over here."

"No thank you" I said as I closed the door and went back the couch. What the hell was Opie thinking?

I got up and went to look for the kids as I noticed they were in the main bedroom asleep, I really needed to get out of here.

As I walked back to get my phone to try to contact Opie the front door opened as Mary walked in.

"How's Piney?" I asked as she put her keys down.

"He's on a bender." she said as it was no news to me as I grabbed my things and left.

~A~

When I arrived at the clubhouse I noticed there was a big commotion by the clubhouse door, as I walked over there as I noticed Bobby was holding back Hap and Tig as Jax and Clay were fighting. I noticed mom was looking at them as she held on to Tara.

"What is going on?" I asked as mom just grabbed me as Clay and Jax just keep throwing blows at each other.

I noticed Opie was at the shop as Bobby broke up the fight he claimed they needed. I walked over there since I needed to talk to him about this Lyla chick.

"Hey." I said as I sat down on the table as he worked on his bike.

"I'm sorry about Lyla I should of called, I trust her with the kids." he said as he turned around to face me as he leaned on the bike.

"It's alright I didn't slam the door in her face, just closed it." I said as he smiled at me.

"How are you dealing with out her, since a lot of shit has been going down?"

"Day by day I guess." I said as he just nodded as we both still were not ready to talk about Donna.

"There is nothing wrong with what she is doing to take care of her son."

"You know my stand with porn pussy, next time just make sure I'm not the one with the kids." I said as he kissed my forehead as I got off the table as I noticed Hap was by his bike as I walked into the office and closed the door.

~A~

I awoke the next morning as my phone began to ring. I had woke up all night long and had trouble going back to sleep.

"Hello" I answered as I noticed it was Dog as I looked at the time as he said that no one had opened the shop.

"Get Piney to open" I said as I closed my phone and took a shower.

Once I had showered I went down stairs as I heard a door slam I really did not want to bump into mom nor Clay.

"Hey having a dinner/" called out mom as I was on my way to the door. I was so close I walked over to the kitchen.

"You really think it's a great idea?" I asked as I really did not feel right having this dinner.

"Yeah it's what we need is family time." she said as I did not agree with her but I knew I was not going to changed her mind.

"We all need to be in an asylum." I said as I left the house.

~A~

I had been at the shop for a couple for a couple of hours now as I began looking for Chibs insurance papers as Tara had called me to find. I finally gave up as I just took a whole package, Tara could look over it and figure it out.

"Is it supposed to be that swollen?" I heard Hap asked as I walked into the bar as I read the papers I found that seemed to have nothing important. I looked up as I noticed Half sack was well now had a full sack which was something I was not interested in seeing as I noticed Hap and Bobby and Tig seemed to be.

"Hey Jess" said Half sack as he just stood there showing them off as Tig turned around with his hands down his pants.

"I don't even want to know, I'm just going to go see Chibs and let's pretend I was not even here" I said as Opie walked in and did not seem pleased as I just made my way out of the clubhouse.

"Hey." called out Hap as I continued walking toward my car. "Jessica" he said as I stopped and opened my car.

"Now what your going to accuse me of fucking Half sack?" I asked as I turned around to face him.

"No I know for a fact you like a full sack." he said as I looked at him.

"Well I guess today he is in the running." I said as he grabbed my arm. "What Hap we are going to pretend like the other day didn't happen and everything is alright today?"

"Don't start" he said as he pointed at me.

"Right yeah when you do shit it's always pushed to the back, but when I don't tell you something all shit breaks lose. I'm tired of all the bullshit Hap I'm done." I said as he just let me go as and walked back to the club as I got in the car.

~A~

I was going to go to mom's house and help her out with the dinner but first I was going to look for Tara as I I hoped I found the right papers.

I handed the papers to Tara as mom called that she needed me at the house, I left and made my way over to mom's I would be by to see Chibs later.

"Hey my beautiful ladies." I said as I walked in and mom handed me a cutting board.

"Are you here to complement us or help"

"Trust me I don't think it's safe for me to handle a knife." I said as Neeta gave me Abel.

"Jessica it's never safe to hand you a knife." said mom as I sat down as Neeta handed me a bottle.

"Time for nap." she said as both mom and Neeta began to talk as I headed upstairs to mom's room.

"I'm going to go see Chibs" I said as I walked back in to the kitchen as Neeta and mom finished up as I had left Abel upstairs and turned on the monitor.

"Alright baby I will go over there in a few." said mom as I grabbed my things and left the house, I should have just gone to see Chibs before and I would have been able to spend some time with Abel. Well not that I minded spending time visiting Chibs I would just rather visit him at the clubhouse than unconscious in a hospital bed.

~A~

I awoke as I heard the door close, I looked up from where I was sitting when I noticed a woman had walked in.

"Hello" she said as I sat up and let go of Chibs's hand.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I stood up.

"You don't remember me little Teller." she said as the door opened as mom and Tara walked in.

"I'm sorry only family allowed at this time." said Tara as I looked at mom as she stared at the lady as she stood her ground.

"She is, she's Chibs's wife." said mom as I thought back to who was Chibs married too. "Fiona Larkin" mom added as I remembered who she was as I walked over to mom and just left as my phone began to ring I noticed it was Luann.

"Can you come by I really need someone." she said as I stood outside the room.

"Yeah I'm on my way." I said as I was thinking of going back in but just left.

~A~

"What are you doing here?" asked Tig as I got out of the car as he was sitting by the van.

"Luann called me. You?

"Some shit with Luann just waiting for a call from Clay." he said.

"Anything on the fed?" I asked as I still did not know why Stahl was here.

"Nah too early to tell, got to go take care of some shit with Clay" he said as his phone rang and he took off as Jax and Opie walked out of Cara Cara.

"Jess what are you doing here?" asked Jax.

"Luann called wanted to see me." I said as I walked passed them the sooner I was done her the faster I could leave.

"Hey don't stay too long." he called out as I entered the warehouse trust me I wont.

"Luann" I called out as I noticed all the damage around the warehouse. "What happened?" I asked as she walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Georgie Caruso is messing with me just got worse." she said as we walked over to her office as I saw someone cleaning up all the blood as we decided to just go into one of the other offices.

"So what did you need?" I asked as I sat down.

"Jess about me and Bobby it just...

"I don't want to know" I said as I raised my hands.

"I love Otto with my whole heart Jess and nothing is going to change that. Me and Bobby is nothing serious it just happened." she said as she looked over at me.

"It's just going to bring problems to the club Luann." I said as I got up and walked out.

~A~

When I got back to the mom's house I noticed almost everything was done as I walked passed Tara as she seemed pissed over something as I noticed Lyla was here.

"Oh great what were handing hand jobs for dessert." said Tara as I looked over at mom as Neeta grabbed my arm as I followed her into the kitchen.

"I didn't say anything" I said as she let me go and made me face her.

"When are you two going to say something, your all holding it in and it's affecting everyone." she said as Clay and the guys walked in.

"Everything will be alright." I said as the guys began to argue as Tig and Bobby began to fight as they tried to separate them.

"Excuse me" called out Hale as I looked over at him as everyone stopped. "I wanted to tell you in person Luann Delaney was found off county eighteen beaten to death." he said as I did not know what to think as the room got silent. "Sorry" he said as he left. I looked at Hap and then turned to mom.

I left Hap's side as he reached out to grab my arm, and went to stand next to mom as Jax and Clay began to fight blaming each other.

Where were we standing that they were blaming each other for a death that none of them were apart of. Neeta was right it was affecting everyone but there was something much deeper than this.

I just sat down after mom had slammed the plate on the table breaking up the fight, mom grabbed my hand as she sat down next to me as everyone remained quiet.

~Several hours later~

I had been sitting here for the past few hours, I needed to get out of the house and wanted to be away from everyone.

Mom had headed upstairs as the guys had left and Neeta had taken upon herself to clean. I finally found the courage to get out of my car.

"I don't know what to do Donna." I said as I kneeled down and just stared at the grave. "I can't do this anymore."

It was the first time I had come by since her death as I was not ready and today was just the day to come. I was tired of feeling alone there was another person besides Donna that could help me with this. I leaned back and closed my eyes as I finally felt the loss of Luann, when was all this going to stop.

~A~

The clubhouse was quiet as I walked in, I noticed Juice was asleep on the couch as I walked over to Hap's room. As I walked I noticed he was face down as I put my things on the drawers, as I removed my shoes and grabbed one of his shirts and changed.

I walked over to him as I began to take his shoes off, he woke up as I took them off as he sat up as he removed his cut as I grabbed it and I put it on the chair.

"How are you taking it?" he asked as he got up.

"I just need you" I said as he put his arm around me. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, but it was time.

(Thanks for Reading and Reviewing)


	19. Losing One More

I didn't know how she was going to react with Luann dead, what I didn't expect was her showing up here telling me that she needed me at three in the morning.

I thought she was going to stay at Gemma's as she just sat there with her as they processed what was going on.

I knew that she had gone to the cemetery as she had some grass in her hair, probably the only one I know that goes there when something is not right.

Our shit has been ups and downs lately I don't even know what the hell to do with her at this point.

~Jess~

I didn't even want to open my eyes as I moved, I knew Hap was already awake and I just wanted to stay in his arms just one last time. What the hell was in store for us at this point it seemed as it was all going to be down hill from here.

I felt Hap move as he grabbed his phone as he settled back on top of me, I think this was the first time I didn't panic with him.

"Morning" I said as I looked up at him as he gave me a quick kiss.

"Are you alright?" he asked as I put my arms around his neck.

"Yeah um I need to say something." I said as someone began to bang on the door. Really couldn't they just wait.

"Hey dump the bitch we got shit to do" yelled Tig as he opened the door. "Shit sorry Jess. Hap we got to go" he said as he slammed the door shut.

"Sorry baby." he said as I looked up at him and nodded "Yeah." I said as I kissed him. "Just be careful.". The club came first and maybe it was a sign that well it wasn't time yet lets see. How the hell was Hap going to react. I got up and headed over to the restroom to take a shower as Hap got dressed.

"Hey well talk later" he said as I closed the door and turned on the water and sat down I was not ready to lose him.

~A~

After getting ready I left the room and almost ran as I bumped into Bobby on the way out.

"Hey made banana bread." he said as I got one and gave him a kiss as I passed by him.

"Thanks going to go see Chibs." I called out as I headed to my car. As I was driving to the hospital I realized I really had to talk to mom as for what I had decided and I knew she was not going to like it.

I grabbed my phone and called to see where she was, as of always she remained calm to what happened to Luann and I don't think I even processed it yet. Was it Zobelle?

I walked over to the chapel and noticed she was praying as I looked thru the window, since when did she start?

"Hey" said Unser as I jumped a little as I turned to see him.

"What is your problem?" I asked as Jax was walking our way as I went inside with mom.

"Hey" I said as I sat down as she stood up and walked my way as Jax stayed talking to Unser outside.

"Everything alright?" she asked as she joined me keeping on eye on the door.

"Yeah hows Chibs doing?" I asked as Jax walked in.

"Good what are your two doing in here?" he asked.

"Just came from seeing Chibs and talking to Tara." mom said as she stood up. Why is nothing going my way. I need to talk to my mother, and Jax to get out of here. "How did things go with Otto?" asked mom as I saw the guilt on Jax's face.

"Not good."

"It's going to be alright baby." said mom as I she got up as Jax walked away with Unser.

"I'm going to tell Hap." I said as she reached the doors.

"Jessica" she said as she walked back.

"No mom I don't want to hear it. I already decided what good did it do us keeping it under wraps."

"So what you want him to take care of this, if you tell him what do you think he will do?"

"What needs to be done. What we cant seem to do." I said as I grabbed my things as she stood in front of me.

"So what your going to allow him to get hurt, hes going to act without thinking and he will do a mistake. Do you really want to lose him Jessica?"

"You don't know Hap, and it's not like if we haven't been here before." I said as I walked passed her.

~A~

I turned off my phone as I reached the clubhouse mom had been calling me non stop as I left the hospital I was surprised she didn't follow me. I had to tell Hap when he was calm and would listen to me. Shit was I doing the right thing I walked over to the clubhouse.

"You would just stand there and lay the guilt of a dead wife on me." I heard Jax say as I walked in and noticed the doors were open as Jax and Clay were fighting again. Why would Clay blame Jax for all this?

"You remember the promise I made." responded Clay as I noticed Jax took out his gun as I just froze what the hell.

As Jax turned around I looked at him as Clay dropped the gun on the table as he turned around as I noticed Hap looked down.

"Jax" I said as he walked over to me.

"Common Jess." he said as we walked outside.

"Jax what the hell was that?" I asked as we sat down on the picnic table as he lit a cigarette.

"He wants to close down Cara Cara." he said as he stared at the wall. Shit now even my brother keeps things from me. Something this family should learn is that secrets screw up everything. I got up and left the table and went over to the office.

As I looked around I didn't pay attention to what Jax needed as I found the key I was looking for, I left my phone as I grabbed my bag and left the office.

"Hey where are you going?" asked Hap as I walked over to my car as he was by his bike.

"To go check up on Piney."

"I'm not going to get a call from the old man to go pick up my crazy old lady am I?" he asked as I looked over at him.

"No he gave me a key." I said as I showed him the key I had made a copy for emergencies only thing was that Piney had no idea I had.

"Right" he said as he got on his bike I guess he knew me well.

~A~

I arrived at the cabin as I really hoped Piney was alright, I grabbed the bags and the lunch I had brought him who knows how long he has gone without eating.

"Hey you're alive." I said as I walked in as Piney sat up.

"Who gave you a key?"

"Mary" I lied as I put the bags on the table. "Have you eaten or plan on taking a shower." I said as I made my way to the kitchen.

"My cabin my rules." he said as I brought his lunch over to the table.

"Luann was killed yesterday" I said as we sat down at the table.

"Hows Otto?" he asked as as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Jax went to talk to him this morning."

"Do we know anything?" he asked as we began to eat.

"No Clay and Jax are too busy trying to kill each other and everything seems to be falling apart." I said as he stood up and grabbed one of his bottles and went to sit down on his chair. I begin to clean the table.

"You know I'm not even your responsibility." he said as I had finished cleaning and grabbed my things.

"I'm so tired of losing people Piney, so please take care of yourself." I said as I gave him a kiss. "Oh and it won't hurt if you take a shower." I called out as he threw a pillow at me.

"Hey I want my key back." he yelled as I reached the door.

"What key?" I asked as I left and made my way to the shop.

~The Next Day~

"Where have you been and why is your phone off?" mom yelled as she walked into the office.

"Because I'm thinking" I said as she just sat down. "Can you please go glare at someone else."

"Jess think about this...

"Would you stop I'm tired of thinking of this mom, and I'm so tired of not finding a damn solution. I just don't know what to do."

"Hey where did you stay?" asked Hap as I walked out of the office and bumped into him.

"Oh um at mom's" I said as my phone began to ring as I noticed it was Neeta as the guys arrived with Chibs.

"Welcome back" I said as I gave him a hug.

"Thank you my love." said Chibs as my phone began to ring again.

"Hey."

"Where are you haven't seen you in days?" she asked as I walked over to the office as mom walked in.

"I'll be by in a while." I said as I hung up when Hap walked in.

"So where did you stay?" he asked again.

"At mom's" I said as he put his arms around me. "What's wrong with Chibs he looked worried?"

"It's nothing" he said as I sat down as he walked out.

"Jessica where did you stay?" asked mom as we walked back into the office.

"Hap has a transfer letter." I said as I watched Hap walk into the clubhouse.

"He's transferring?"

"No he would of told me." I said as Tara walked in.

"Jax is the one transferring" she said as both me and mom looked at her.

"What?" I asked as I sat down as mom stood up.

"Yeah he is going Nomad." she said as I looked over at mom. This was not good what the hell was he thinking?

"What?" asked mom as Tara seemed way to calm over this.

"Jax thinks it's the right thing to do." said Tara.  
>"Jax doesn't know what he wants." said mom as always she wants to make the decisions but right now it's not a good time for Jax to go Nomad. I don't think there ever is a time.<p>

"I think it's for the best." said Tara as I looked at her as she just stared at the floor.

"Trust me the last thing we want is Jax in a charter that's scattered across four states, not with the enemies Samcro has right now." said mom.  
>"I have to go to work." said Tara as she stood up and walked out.<p>

"What are we going to do?" asked mom as she sat down.

"Slap Jax till he realizes he is making a big mistake" I said as mom just looked at me. What did she expect when Jax has something is his mind he is going end up doing it either way.

"Why are my children so damn complicated." she said as she walked out. So what were we going to do? I grabbed my purse and followed her outside.

"I think it's time to tell them" said mom as I went to stand next to her.

"Oh now is the right time." I said as Jax left the clubhouse and walked over to Tara. "I want you to go to the house with Hap." said mom as I looked at her.

"No I'm going to tell Hap on my own."

"Jess"

"Just make sure Clay goes to the house." I said as mom hugged me.

"We can do this." I said as I just grabbed my keys as walked over to the clubhouse. I noticed Hap was playing pool with Bobby.

"Ready to go home?" he asked as I put my arms around him.

"Yeah" I said as we walked outside as mom was walking inside. We walked over to his bike as he gave me the helmet as I got on behind him.

~A~

As he checked the house I sat down on the couch as I stared at my phone as Killer joined me on the couch as Hap walked back into the living room.

"Everything alright?" he asked as he sat down.

"No" I said as I faced him as he sat up.

"That's the first time you haven't lied to me." he said.

"The night of Bobby's party we were not in a car accident, we were attacked." I said as Hap stood up as I looked at Killer who was laying next to me with his head on my lap. "Mom stopped at a red light as a mini van came behind us as a blonde comes running to the car claiming her kid swallowed something." I said as I was not able to look at Hap.

"Out of nowhere mom decided to help as I just waited for her in the car when for some reason it bothered me that she left her gun as I got out I saw the blonde hit mom and as I was about to walk over there someone hit me and I fell to the ground. The last thing I remember before blacking out was someone picking me up and taking me to the van." I said as Hap sat back down.

"Jess why didn't you tell me" he said as he grabbed my hand and I closed my eyes as I kept telling myself that I could do this.

"When I woke up I was handcuffed to a chain fence at the utility house up on access road they were three men and they wore masks. I tried to fight two of them as I noticed that mom was next to me as one of them was raping her." I felt his hold on my hand tighten.

"One of them asked me where my old man was, as he said that I should of thought better with who I had associated myself with. They wanted us to deliver a message to the club to stop selling guns to color. Mom recognized Weston, Zobelle's right hand. They raped us all three of them, more than once."

(Thank you for reading and reviewing)


	20. True Love of Mine

I just wanted to lock myself in the room as Hap looked at me, he had not said anything and it was driving me crazy.

I expected him to yell or throw something and even break whatever was near him but I did not expect the silence. It was killing me as I was about to stand up he walked over to me.

I froze as he kneeled in front of me as he put his hands on my knees as I looked at him, I could see the hurt in his eyes where I had expected anger.

"I'm sorry." I said as I lowered myself in front of him as he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly as I began to cry.

It had been awhile as we were still on the floor as he hadn't let me go and still didn't say anything as I sat back down on the couch as I heard knocking as Hap went to open the door, I knew it was going to be Clay as they talked.

Once Hap closed the door he got his cut and walked over to me.

"There all dead." he said as he kissed me and left. I just stood there staring at the door, I had to get out of here.

~Tara~

When I had left the house I knew I should check up on Gemma and Jessica only they know how they are doing. I knocked and walked in as I heard Gemma yell that it was opened.

Gemma was sitting down smoking a cigarette as I noticed the alcohol on the table in front of Jess.

"Is she alright?" I asked as Jess was with her head down on the table.

"Yeah" said Gemma as if it was normal to be drinking at seven in the morning."Where's Jax?" she asked as I sat down.

"Left with Clay and Happy who I can say was ready to kill anyone on his path." I said as I looked over at Jess. "Doing Okay?" I asked as she turned to look at me.

"Sure" she responded.

"It was brave doing what you did." I said hoping to help them out any way I could. They both looked a little out of it.

"Well, it had to be done." responded Gemma as she kept going on how it was the right time to snap Jax and Clay out of their bullshit.

"It had to be done for both of you." I said as Jess seemed to be ignoring me and Gemma not really believing me.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." she said as she continued on how she didn't think Clay would want to be with her anymore. Was that the way Jess was feeling?

"Both Clay and Happy love both of you." I said as I hoped Jess was even listening to me.

"Love don't mean shit." said Gemma as Jess just starred at the ceiling. "Men need to own their pussy. His has been violated. They will find another. It's what they do" she said as I just stared at her not believing what she was saying.

"Fucking perfect." said Jess as she left the table as got up and was going to follow her.

"I don't think Jess needs that right now." I said as Jess walked upstairs as I sat back down.

"She's been in this life, she knows how it works." she said as I just shook my head as she just stood up and left the table.

~Happy~

All the shit Jess had been thru and now this, I couldn't shake the feeling of how small Jess felt as I held her. I didn't know what to say as I just wanted to make every fucker pay.

Club orders were easy to follow I knew that if I saw that piece of shit of Weston and Zobelle I was going to follow Clay's orders and wait for the time.

I knew what I was going to do and no one was going to hold me back when it was time I wasn't going to be done till they all paid for hurting what is mine.

~Jess~

I closed the bathroom door and turned on the faucet as I splashed water on my face. Drinking this early was a mistake, I sat down and leaned on the door, I should have not started drinking at all since it seemed that today was not going to be a good one.

That was not my first mistake, I should have stayed far away from my mother today.

After awhile I decided I should have gone to the shop and distract myself, maybe clean up a bit as the office seemed to always be out of order and I needed to think of something else right now.

I got up from the floor and left the bathroom and headed downstairs hoping mom wouldn't make a big deal.

"What the fuck" I said as I saw mom kissing Tig. Why do always walk into this kind of shit. This was so not my day, I just grabbed my bag and left the house. What the fuck were they ugh I'm not even going to think about that.

When I got in my car I really questioned the idea of going to the clubhouse, but I knew that even thought I wanted to be left alone I just did not want to be home.

~A~

"Hey Jess" said Dog as I walked into the office as I began to look for my cigarettes as he went over the work orders as Bobby walked in.

"Morning" I said as I noticed Bobby kept looking at me as I avoided him. The guys were all seem to be working this morning but by the way Bobby was looking at me I knew Clay had told them.

"Shit" said Bobby as he left the office quickly as I noticed what was going on.

I walked out of the office as Jax called out for Clay as Opie was punching Tig.

"What did you tell him?" asked Clay as I stood next to Bobby as Opie walked away followed by Jax.

"I told him I killed Donna."

"What" I asked as I looked at Tig.

"Stahl was the one that killed Donna, she set up Opie as a rat. He knows it was Stahl." said Tig as I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Jess call Tara." called out Jax as I walked over to my car I needed to get out of here.

"Jessica" I heard Hap call me out as I almost reached the car, I couldn't believe any of this.

"Hey." he grabbed me and pulled me away from the door.

"Please tell me you didn't know" I said as I looked up at him as he let go of my arm as I closed my eyes, of course he knew. "I can't be near you right now" I said as I just got in the car and left.

The club I loved and protected, the man that I loved as a father was responsible for the death of my sister. Where do we go from this?

I needed to calm down and think about all this, I just needed to breath and stay calm before I did something I was going to regret. I noticed my hands were shaking as I stopped at the store.

My phone kept ringing as I grabbed what I needed, I was going to turn it off as I noticed it was Mary. I doubt she had heard anything.

"What" I answered as I payed for the chocolates and headed out to my car.

"I need you to check in on Piney he is up to something and it's not good Jess."

"Mary tell when is Piney up to something that is good." I said as I walked over to my car.

"He gave me the feeling as if he was preparing himself to die." she said as I hung up. Piney had heard everything, he was going to do something to Tig and Clay.

"Shit" I said as I made my way over to Piney's.

~A~

My heart started beating again when I saw his bike outside of the cabin, I didn't know what he was up to but I knew what he was capable of.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as I walked in.

"Did you know?" I asked him as I sat down on the floor.

"It was to protect Opie."

"Hiding shit from someone never helps." I said as Piney opened his box.

"Those animal that hurt you, Jax is going to make them pay." he said as he took off his cut and put it in his box as I stood up as he got his pistol.

"Piney" I said as I followed him outside and dialed Jax number. "Let's just wait for someone" I said as it went to voice mail.

"I'm protecting my son." he said as he got on his bike.

"This is not a good idea. We should wait for Jax or Opie." I said as I tried to get someone to answer as it kept going to voice mail.

"I don't need anyone" he grumbled as he left as I ran to my car.

"Why didn't Mary call someone else?" I said aloud as I followed him to the clubhouse. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to stop him, but I could at least try.

~A~

When we got to the clubhouse no one was outside as Piney got off his bike and grabbed his pistol and put it in his jacket.

"Piney let's think about this" I said as I followed him into the clubhouse. This was not good at all. " I really don't want to lose anyone." I said as I thought about all the outcomes that could happen the minute Piney walked into the clubhouse.

"You should take care of your marriage rather than worrying about me" he said as he pushed me away as he kept walking and he just walks into Church.

"Shit" I said as I leaned on the wall as I hear two shots and all the guys yelling. I just sat down outside of the church as I knew better than to just walk in there.

"Jess." said Jax as he grabbed my arms and picked me up from the floor. "Opie is talking to Piney." he said as I looked over at the bar where Bobby and Clay were talking.

"So everyone is alright?"

"Yeah let's get some air." he said as he put an arm around me as we walked outside.

"Mary called me told me Piney was up to something, I didn't think he was going to go this far." I said as I sat down on the picnic table. "Where do we go from this Jax?"

"This is about the club Jess."

"Yeah of course" I said as it always was going to be about the club.

"It's Opie's to deal with." he said as I stood up.

"I get it Jax, it wasn't like I was thinking of joining Piney's side busting into the Chapel guns blazing." I said as I noticed Piney walked out of the clubhouse as Jax got up and walked over to him. Piney didn't even pay attention to him as he walked over to me.

"Everything is going to be okay." he said as he left as Jax looked over at me and walked back inside.

As I was deciding on what to do I noticed mom pulled into the clubhouse as I tried to forget the events that had happened at her house earlier.

"I've been calling you" said mom as she walked over me.

"I've been avoiding you." I said as I got up from the table and walked away.

"We need to talk" she said as she grabbed my arm as I stopped walking.

"Not in the mood." I said as she let me go as I walked over to my car, I knew she was going to follow me but I wanted to be far away from the club right now.

I didn't even bother closing the door as I walked into the house as mom walked in as I put my bag on the couch.

"Did you know about Donna?" I asked as I sat down.

"There are things Clay has to do to protect this club Jess, it was a mistake and trust me when I tell you that it affected him."

"So you knew."

"I kept it to protect you." she said as I looked over at her. I just wonder how many things has she kept from me to protect me.

"So now what everything is alright like always?"

"The past is gone we just move forward." she said.

"Yeah like always."

"At the end of the day it's all about protecting our family." she said as she got up and gave me a kiss and left.

~A~

As I was about to lay down on the couch I heard the familiar sound of an engine I had hoped not to hear all day. I closed my eyes as I heard knocking as Killer ran to the door.

"Hey baby girl" said Clay as I opened the door. "Mind if I come in?" he asked as I opened the door so that he could step in.

"It's been one of those days" I said as I closed the door.

"Yeah" he said as I joined him on the couch.

"I don't know what to say about Donna. I'm sorry Jess I knew you two were very close and believe me when I tell you that if I could take it back I would."

"I don't want to talk about that right now" I said as he grabbed my hand.

"I promised your father I was going to protect you. I failed at that with you and your mother, you all never deserved to go thru that." he said as he held my hand.

"No one failed at anything it was going to happen, no one would have been able to stop it. All that matters now is that we take care of it and put it behind us." I said as he looked at me. "Mom needs you, she needs to know that you still love her." I said as I looked up at him as he stood up from the couch.

"I love your mother and that will never change." he said as he left.

I got up to lock the door as my phone began to ring, I noticed it was Hap as I was going to turn it off I decided to answer it.

"See you outside" he said and hanged up. I went to get a sweater and left the house as I noticed Hap was already waiting for me.

He didn't say anything as he handed me a helmet as I put it on and got on behind him. I wrapped my arms around him as he took off, I knew where we were going as we made our way to the place.

~A~

Once we got there I noticed that the table was still there as I got off and took off the helmet as I walked over to it but didn't sit down as I walked passed it.  
>"When did you know?" I asked as I walked over to the edge.<p>

"That night." he said as I closed my eyes.

"I didn't tell you because I knew it was the last thing you needed." he said as I agreed with him, it probably would of made things worse.

"I don't think I would have been able to handle the truth at that time" I said as I turned around, he had a loyalty to his brother and his club I could not fault him for that.

"Did you not trust me?" he asked as I thought of how many ways all this would have been different if I would have just told him.

"The club was not ready for it, Zobelle would of gotten the upper hand." I said as I walked over to the table and sat down.

"No one deserves to go thru what you thru went alone." he said.

"I wasn't alone well mom was not the best person to go thru this but we managed in our own way. I was afraid of losing you."

"That's a thing you should never be afraid of. I have told you that the only way of getting rid of me is when I stop breathing. I love you Jessica, I never want you to doubt that shit." he said as I looked up at him, we will get thru this as we always seem to do.

As I stood up he put his arms around me as I closed my eyes as I felt his lips touch mine.

(Thanks for Reading and Reviewing)


	21. Our Kind of Love

My back was hurting as I tried to move as I felt a weight on top of me, I did not go into a panic as it was a familiar weight and I could feel Happy breathing on my neck.

Staying here and sleeping on top of a picnic table all night was not part of the plan and now my back was paying for it.

It was still dark outside as tried to reach for my phone to check the time, as I tried several times and all of them were unsuccessful I had to wake up Hap so that we could go home. It was going to be one of those days where we were going to have a lot of things going on.

"Hap." I said as I began to move him as he just tightened his hold around me. "Hap I want to go home." I said as I tried to push him off me as he didn't even budge.

"Just go back to sleep." he mumbled.

"Yeah I would do that if I was in my bed."

"It's the same shit." he said as his phone began to ring. Finally he got off me as he got his phone from his cut as I sat up and wrapped the blanket around me as I picked up my clothes and dusted them off.

As I got dressed Hap sat down as he talked on the phone as my phone began to ring and I noticed it was mom. What in the world was she doing awake at five in the morning?

"Hey" I answered the phone as she started asking questions right away.

"Jess where are you? Are you at the house so that I could pick you up? We have to run some errands before everyone gets here."  
>"Heading home." I said as I put on my shoes. I was planning on doing my things first and then if she needed something I would help not the other way around.<p>

"Where did you stay? Are you at the clubhouse?"

"Not at the clubhouse."

"Do you want me to pick you up or you're heading over here?"

"Mom I'm going to get ready and then I'm heading over to the clubhouse." I said as I heard her sigh.

"We have a lot of shit to do so hurry up" she said and hung up. This lady thinks my life revolves around her.

"Shit." I said as I picked up my sweater from the floor as Hap buckled his pants as he walked back over to me.

"What?" he asked as he put his arms around me.

"I have to pee." I said as I already knew his suggestion.

"Just go in the bushes."

"There is no way in hell I'm doing that" I said as he just shook his head and walked over to his bike as I made sure we had gotten everything.

"Well then get your ass on the bike." he said as he passed me the helmet. As I got on behind him my phone began to ring again. I knew it was mom so I decided to ignore it as I just put my arms around Hap as he took off.

~A~

I was glad we were finally at the house as I really wanted to at least get another hour of sleep or maybe just thirty minutes before I was forced to leave the comfort of my house.

Hap grabbed the keys as I took off the helmet and followed him to the door as I heard Killer barking as Hap unlocked the door.

"Awe my baby was left all alone." I said to killer as he ran over to me

"I think you love him more than me." said Hap as he closed the door as I let Killer out.

"Only a little" I said as I walked over to the room as I heard Hap mumble bitch under his breath.

"We need to be at the clubhouse in two." he said as he let me go as he closed the back door.

"Well that sounds good, I got enough time to rest take a shower and pack." I said as I knew I was going to hate this lock down as always.

"Jess all you have is thirty minutes." said Hap as I should have known better.

"Right." I walked straight into the restroom and turned on the water, Hap should know by now that I was not going to be ready in thirty minutes maybe in an hour.

As I was about to step into the shower as I stopped mid way as I felt Hap behind me, I leaned back as he kissed my neck.

"Remember you said thirty minutes." I said as I moved away from him and got under the water.

"Don't forget who makes the rules." he said as he bit my shoulder.

"Not you." I said as I turned around facing him as he pressed me against the wall.

As he was about to say something I covered my mouth as I pushed him away almost slipping as I got out of the shower as I kneeled in front of the toilet as I threw up. Way to ruin the mood.

"You alright?" Hap asked as I stood up and walked over to the sink turning on the water. I washed my mouth and splashed water on my face as I felt Hap looking at me.

"Yeah" I said as I turned off the water and got a towel.

"You taking your heart medication." he asked as I wrapped a towel around my body and left the restroom. "Jessica" Hap yelled as he turned off the water as I looked for something to where. "Didn't you hear me?" he asked as he grabbed my arm.

"I'm taking them."

"Are you sure, you better not be lying to me." he said as I tried to get my arm away from his grasp.

"Yeah I'm the one taking them." I said as he let me go. This time I was taking them so it was probably something I had eaten yesterday or something.

My phone began to ring as I was getting dressed as Hap grabbed it and turned it off and left the room. Was that really necessary? I asked out loud as I grabbed my phone and turned it back on as I grabbed one of the bags to start getting my things ready.

Once I finished getting everything ready I put the bags in the living room as I was going to check the doors. Hap didn't say anything as he grabbed the bags as I turned off the lights and locked the doors.

"Killer let's go." called out Hap as I grabbed my purse and made sure everything was off. "You got everything?" Hap asked as I handed him the house keys as I walked over to the car. Now he wanted to talk.

As I got in the car I noticed Killer was already laying down in the backseat as I turned the car on as he climbed over to the passenger seat like always.

"Sorry Killer it's hot and I need the air condition" I told him as he looked out the window as Hap knocked on my window.

"What the fuck is your problem now?" he asked as I just shook my head.

"Nothing" I said as I raised the window as he walked away.

I followed Hap to the clubhouse as I finally got tired of hearing Killer whimper as he stared at the window as I turned off the air and lowered the windows.

~A~

As we reached the clubhouse I saw Tara's car pulling in I had to ask her about something and it was a little urgent, but I knew right now was not the time.

Once I parked I opened the trunk as Half sack grabbed the bags and walked inside as Jax walked over to me.

"You alright?" he asked as he put an arm around me.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just wondering" he said as he gave me a kiss as we walked inside.

"I have been calling both of you." said mom loud enough that every one in the room turned to look at us.

"No you didn't" we both said as Clay walked out of the Chapel as he walked over to us. I noticed Killer followed Half sack over to the rooms already knowing he was stuck here.

"Alright listen up." called out Jax as Clay began to welcome everyone to the club as we stood next to him. Jax put an arm around me and mom as Clay was finishing up.

Once everyone seemed to get situated it still seemed a bit crowded even with the guys in the Chapel. I walked over to mom as she and Mary were preparing the food.

"Are we not saving Neeta?" I asked mom as she looked over at me as I picked up Abel.

"She is going on vacation."

"Why did she not take me with her" I said as I sat down next to Mary as she was fixing the sandwiches.

"You really think Hap was going to let you go somewhere?" mom asked.

"Who gives a shit what he wants right now. We should have gone to the beach. Right Abel enjoy the sun not be in a room full of people we hate for the moment." I said as mom and Mary glared at me.

"You dream to big." said Mary.

"Damn going to the beach is dreaming big Mary?"

"So what happened that they dragged our asses over here?" she asked as I looked over at mom as Tara came over to the bar.

"It's nothing just a precaution." answered mom.

"So that's the whore Opie is interested in?" asked Mary changing the conversation.

"Really you haven't meet the girl." mom said as I was on Mary's side on this one.

"She's a porn star."

"Hey you were a stripper once" said mom as I smiled at Tara as she laughed.

"Stripper versus porn star. I'm pretty sure Mary wins on this one." I said as mom just shrugged her shoulders.

"You just hate porn stars." she said as that may be one of the many reasons I didn't like Lyla.

"Who doesn't" added Tara.

"That's right Tara come to the dark side we have sandwiches" I said as me and Mary began to laugh as mom hit me.

"She is looking like she needs a little pick me up." said mom as we all looked at her.

"What?" I asked as even Abel turned to see her.

"Tara what are you waiting for?" asked mom as we all looked at her.

"What no." she said as I tried not to laugh.

"Go on." said mom.

"Why doesn't Jess have to go?" she asked.

"I hate the bitch that's never going to change." I said as Mary put an arm around me.

"I'm right with you." said Mary as Tara let out a sigh and walked over to Lyla.

"Here let me get him." mom said as she reached out to grab Abel. Once she had him he began to cry as he reached out his arms for me to get him back.

"Oh he loves me more." I said as she passed him back to me and he stopped crying as mom and Mary looked at each other. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." answered Mary as mom went over to the kitchen.

"Jess get in here." mom called out as looked over at Mary.

"That doesn't sound so good." I said as I stood up.

"Yeah." she said as I walked over there.

"What's going on?" I asked as I really hoped she didn't say we needed to talk.

"Got to go run some errands mind going." I should really say no, because it's never a good thing that she asked me.

"I won't mind." I said as she nodded and looked over at me.

"Alright let me tell Tara were going." she said as she left.

"Why do I feel like you are up to something?" asked Hap as he walked into the kitchen.

"I'm not at this moment." I said as mom walked back in.

"Ready to go?" she asked as Hap looked at her and then back at me.

"Your not going Jess." he said.

"What?" I asked confused as he left the kitchen as I looked over at mom as Mary walked in.

"I think that means that he is putting you on his lock down." said Mary as I left the kitchen as I looked for Hap as Tara grabbed Abel.

As I didn't see him at the bar so I headed over to the room. When I walked in he was changing his shirt as I sat down on the bed.

"You heard me Jess, there is no reason for you to even step out of those gates." he said as I stood up as I was not agreeing with him at all.

"Hap I'm probably just going to the store and return." I said as I didn't see the reason why he was against it.

"When you're with your mother you always end up doing shit that you're not supposed to." he said as he may have a point there but where did he find this need to demand shit from me.

"We are just going to the store." I said as he was walking over to the door as he stopped and turned around.

"No you will do as I say." he said and left slamming the door behind him. You have got to be kidding me. I left the room and headed back to the bar as mom and Tara were waiting.

"So?" mom asked as I just shook my head no and sat down.

"Mind taking care of him?" asked Tara. "I still have to go to the hospital and finish some paperwork.

"Yeah I will stay with Abel" I said as Tara put the diaper bag on the table as they walked away.

"What's going on you're looking a little pissed?" asked Mary.

"No apparently I was told to stay put."

"Sometimes it sucks being an Old Lady huh." she said as the guys left the chapel. I noticed Tig and Kozik seemed to be having a discussion.

"Yeah sometimes." I said as Clay walked over to me while Tig and Hap left the clubhouse.

"Where's your mother?" asked Clay.

"Just left to run some errands."

"Alright we're going to handle some things." he said as he walked away. I grabbed Abel's things and headed over to the room, I was already getting a headache from all of them talking at the same time.

I laid Abel down on the middle of the bed as I heard someone knocking. As I opened it I noticed it was Ellie as she just smiled at me.

"Can I be in here, it's to crowded over there." she said as I moved so that she could walk in. IT had been awhile since I had spend some time with her.

"Where's midnight?" she asked as she petted Killer and sat down on the bed.

"Well since he already lives outside, I doubt he would of come." I said as I laid back down on the bed as she did the same. "So how are you?" I asked as she kicked off her shoes.

"I miss her." she said as she stared at the ceiling.

"Yeah me too." I said as she looked over at me.

"Do you think it ever stops hurting?"

"With time it does, but it doesn't mean you wont miss her." I said as she nodded. I grabbed one of the pillows and handed it over to her hoping we could catch some sleep with Abel.

~A~

We had been asleep for thirty minutes as we both awoke to Abel crying as I sat up and reached over to get Abel's bag I noticed Ellie had gotten her shoes.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I made Abel's bottle.

"I'm going to go see what Kenny is doing." she said as she put her shoes on. "Bye Aunt Jess" she said as she left the room.

"Well you do know how to clear a room." I said to Abel as I picked him up as Hap walked in taking off his cut and laid down on the bed.

"Everything alright?" I asked as I turned my attention to him as he was looking over at me.

"We got our shipment back." announced Hap as he closed his eyes as I leaned back on the headboard. "I don't want you out there, with all of us busy it's not safe." he said as he sat up.

"It would have been better if you would asked not just demanded."

"Why didn't you tell me about it when it happened? It was your responsibility to tell me, I would of taken care of it that day without having to wait on anyone to tell me when I could."

"Really Hap and where would you be right now? You would of reacted without thinking."

"Is that your answer or was that what your mother thought what was best."

"I made the decision not my mother." I said as he stood up as I began to burp Abel.

"You know what I think?" he asked as he walked over to me. "You didn't trust me. That's what I think when I try to wrap my mind over this shit."

"I was afraid of losing you." I said as I looked up at him as he just began to pace.

"Don't fucking give me that bullshit Jess."

"It wasn't the first time and I might not feel it everyday but what gets to me is the fact that there is some other bitch out there willing to take my place one who probably has no fucking problems and is just what you need. Do you ever have that feeling Hap, that I will leave you for someone else? No right because I don't let it happen." I said as I got up and left the room.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	22. No Rest

I awoke as I heard the door open, I closed my eyes as Hap turned on the light and turned it back off as he walked over to the restroom.

I looked over at the the clock and noticed it was three in the morning, I sat up and made sure Abel was alright as he was still in the middle of the bed. Where in the world was Tara?

I walked over to the restroom, when I walked in I noticed Hap's hoodie had blood on it as I made him turn around to face me.

"It's not my blood. I'm alright" he said as I grabbed one of the towels and ran it under the water.

"What happened?" I asked as I turned off the water.

"Zobelle and Weston got picked up by Charming P.D." he said as he sat down as I cleaned the cut he had above his left eye.

"So what's next?" I asked as he removed his hoodie as he began to undress as I tried to see if I could still save the hoodie.

"Samcro is at the station waiting on news." he said as he got in the shower as I heard someone knocking. I closed the restroom as I walked over to the door as I heard mom's voice.

"Everything alright?" I asked as she walked in.

"Yeah going to go see Clay. Hows Abel?" she asked as I turned on the light.

"He hasn't woken up all night." I said as I looked over at Abel.

"Alright me and Tara are heading over to check on the guys. Do you mind taking care of Abel and keeping everything under control here?"

"I think I can handle Abel. I don't really care about anything else, they need anything they can go to Mary." I said as mom gave me a kiss and shook her head as she left the room. I turned off the light as Hap walked out of the restroom.

"Are you going to the station?" I asked I was going to go back to bed.

"No Clay wants the Nomads to stay here till the morning." he said as he got dressed as I got in the bed. "Shit I see Killer and Abel have taken up my side of the bed."

"Hap there is always room for you." I said as I moved over as he laid down next to me as he wrapped his arms around me. I turned around to face him giving him a kiss as I really hoped today was the last day we ever had to worry about Zobelle and Weston.

~Several hours later~

Someone had started knocking as Abel began to cry as Hap got up and went to open the door.

I picked up Abel as I put on some shoes as he had stopped crying as I noticed it was Mary at the door as she walked in as Hap left the room.

"What's going on?" I asked as she got Abel as I finished putting on my shoes as he began to cry again as I looked for his pacifier trying to avoid my phone as I wanted to call Tara to pick up Abel as I just wanted to curl up and go back to sleep.

"Got some of the girls to do breakfast." she said as I looked over at the clock who would be up at seven in the morning.

"Alright let's feed them and then well see from there." I said as she handed Abel over as we left the room as I noticed the hangarounds were cleaning up as Hap was talking to several Nomads.

I walked into the kitchen and walked right out as I got one of Abel's bottles as the smell of the different foods they were cooking seemed to make me want to throw up as I just closed the door and went to sit at one of the tables.

"Well if it isn't Hap's crazy lady." said Kozik as he gave me a quick hug.

"Are you here to help or just piss off Tig?" I asked as he joined me at the table.

"Hey I'm here to help, I kicked some ass yesterday." he said as one of the girls brought me a coffee.

"We also both know that I don't mind pissing off Tig."

"Yeah" I said as I got a text from Tara letting me know that she was going to pick up Abel. I was so glad since I would at least have time for myself to take a shower.

"So when are you and Hap going to be ready for kids?" he asked as he began to play with Abel. I wanted to smack him as almost half of the clubhouse was quiet when he asked.

"Me and Hap will never be ready for kids." I said as he just shrugged his shoulders.

"You look like you are." he said as we both turned around as Hap's phone began to ring. It looked as if some of the Nomad's knew what the call was about as they all walked off to get ready.

I stood up as Hap walked my way. "I have to go." he said as I felt my heart beating fast.

"Yeah alright just please be careful and come back to me Hap." I said as I hugged him.

"I promise you all this will be done" he said as he kissed me.

As all the guys left me and Mary made our way back inside as I was still waiting for Tara and mom to get here. I noticed Lyla was back as she was sitting with her kid and Kenny as I looked for Ellie who was on the couch with Killer.

"She reminds me so much of Opie." said Mary as she turned her attention to Ellie.

"Do you think she will ever accept Lyla?" I asked as Lyla seemed like she was at least trying for the kids.

"You accepted Clay." she said as she had a point but I was older when my father died.

"Hey" said mom as she walked in as she gave me a kiss as I handed Abel over to Tara.

"So what do you ladies have planned for today?" asked Mary.

"Just going to run some errands and Tara needs somethings for Abel and we will be right back." mom said as I hoped she stayed true to her word.

"Please tell me you haven't planned anything." I said as mom sat next to me.

"Everything will work out." she said as I really did not trust her alone.

"I'm serious mom."  
>"Don't worry about it we are just going to run some errands and head right back." she said as she walked over to the kitchen.<p>

"Tara just make sure my mother doesn't do something stupid." I said as she seemed to understand and knew what mom was capable.

"Yeah I will keep on eye on her." she said as she grabbed Abel's things as I headed over to the room.

~A~

After taking a shower I had to get out of the clubhouse, Mary seemed to have everything under control so I decided to lock myself in the office.

The office was a mess since we have been closed and it looked at if someone had been looking for something.

I avoided Piney's alcohol drawer as I looked for my chocolate stash as I was beginning to worry that my phone had not ringed yet. Sometimes no news was good but right now it was driving me crazy.

As I was about to think about cleaning the desk, I heard the door unlock as Jax walked in.

"Shit Jess what the hell are you doing?" asked Jax. "Is this the chocolate factory?" he asked as I threw a chocolate at him as I lit a cigarette.

"I'm avoiding alcohol at the moment." I said as I knew I didn't want to get drunk which will only make things worse. "What are you doing here I thought everyone was on Main street?"

"I'm taking care of Weston." he said as he grabbed the keys to the van.

"Who's going?" I asked as I was thinking something that I shouldn't be doing because Hap told me to stay.

"Opie and Chibs." he said as I had already made up my mind of what I wanted to do.

"I want to go" I said as I stood up. I don't think Hap would be mad since he didn't really tell me to stay put today.

"No"

"I'm not asking you to let me kill him, I just want to go." I said as I knew he was not going to let me go.

"What's the hold up?" asked Opie as he walked into the office.

"Jess wants to go." said Jax as he looked at Opie.

"You want to kill him?" Opie asked as Jax looked over at me. I knew for a fact that I did not want to kill him and I don't think Jax would even let me.

"No apart of me wants to know for sure that this asshole paid for what he did." I said as Jax closed his eyes.

"Jesus Christ let's go Jess" said Jax as Opie put an arm around me as we walked to the van.

"What's going on and where are you going Jess?" asked Chibs as I got on the van and closed the door.

"She's going with us." answered Opie as Chibs looked at me as he made his way to where I was sitting.

"Hey um guys we can't tell Hap." I said as Opie and Chibs turned to look at me.

"Trust me darling we don't want to get killed." said Chibs as we left. Shit I should of called Hap now that I think about it.

We had been waiting for Unser's call as we needed Weston's whereabouts. Hap still didn't know I was not at the clubhouse since I haven't heard from him yet.

"Alright let's go" said Jax as Opie got off the phone. "You sure?" asked Jax as we got out of the van.

"Yeah." I said as he nodded and we walked over to the back door of the tattoo parlor.

When Weston finally came into the restroom I noticed he had brought his son, the kid looked at us and then over at Weston.

"Get rid of him." demanded Jax as I looked away from them as he was saying goodbye to his kid. He is getting what he deserves and his kids will be better without him I kept saying in my head.

"He doesn't see this." said Weston as he walked over to a stall as Jax agreed with him. I stood next to Jax as Weston sat down as Opie offered me a gun as Jax took out his. I didn't look at Jax as I accepted it and pointed the gun at Weston at the same time as Jax.

I shot once as Jax fired three more times, I handed the gun to Opie as I followed Chibs outside.

~A~

Once we got back in the van everyone was quiet on the way to the clubhouse, my phone had rung several times as we were in that restroom. Opie had taken over the driving as I got in the passenger seat as I looked outside.

I grabbed my phone and noticed it had been Hap and he was still calling me as I ignored it. I couldn't close my eyes because every time I did I could hear the gunshots.

The first thing I saw was Hap's bike once we got back to the clubhouse, I was glad he was not outside as I really needed to be alone right now.

"You alright?" Jax asked as I I got out of the van and headed over to the office.

"Yeah." I said as he nodded and walked over to clubhouse.

As I walked in and closed the door my phone began to ring. "I'm in the office." I said and hung up.

"You want to tell me why you went with Jax?" Hap asked as he walked inside.

"I thought I knew what I wanted to do. I just went to because I thought that it would help me close that part, now I can't stop thinking that I had a part in killing him. Even though every part of me is saying that he deserved, does that just gives us the right to fill his head with lead?" I said as I looked over at him. How could it feel so right and wrong at the same time?

"If your asking me all I can say is that he deserved every fucking bullet that was put in his fucking head and more. Knowing that you put a bullet in him makes it much more justifiable to me." Hap was never the right person to talk about this.

"His kid was there and...

"Hey don't give a shit about that, he hurt you and your mother his death was already done the minute he hurt you. You did what you wanted to do, no one is going to hold that against you." he said as he forced me to stand up as he put his arms around me. "One of his kids almost shot Jax if that helps." he said as I shook my head. "chocolate." he offered as I just held him tighter.

"I'm proud of you." he said as he kissed my head.

"I love you sounds better to me right now." I said as we heard Tig yell out for Hap.

~A~

"We have to go, need you to help us out with something." he said as he grabbed my hand as we left the office.

I noticed Tara's car was not here, as I grabbed my phone as the guys were planning something as Piney gave me the club van's keys as he got in the passengers seat.

"Hey have you heard from your mother?" asked Clay as he walked over to his bike.

"No. That's what I'm trying to do." I said as it had gone straight to voice mail this was not good. I was half paying attention to Piney as I kept trying mom's phone as we got one of Unser's truck.

Piney grabbed the guns as I was expected to drive the truck as he and Hap with some Nomads were going to be in the back.

As I followed the guys I kept trying mom's phone, I was going to dial Unser's phone as I heard Piney talking to me.

"Alright wait for the signal." called out Piney as I put the phone down and kept my eyes on Clay.

Once I saw Clay signal to move forward I drove to the side and stepped on the gas. Hap came over as I made sure I got in front of Alvarez's car as he kept on eye on the side mirror.

"Now" said Hap as I stepped on the brakes as he walked over to the back.

As I heard gun shots I realized the reason on why Hap had given me a bullet proof vest. My phone began to ring as I had heard Clay yelling as I noticed it was Tara.

"Tara I can't talk right now" I said as she hanged up. She had chosen the wrong time to call me as bullets were still being fired.

"Shit" I said as I saw the gray car Alvarez was driving away as Clay was apparently yelling at Alvarez, I thought Zobelle was getting away until I noticed Jax followed behind him with Juice and Opie.

"Let's go" called out Hap.

"I'll drive" said Piney as I moved over to the passenger seat as they close the back door as the guys had planned on getting their bikes and joining Clay. I tried mom's phone but this time it went straight to voice mail as I dialed Tara's number as we reached the club's van.

"Shit" I said as I didn't know who else to call anymore to see what my mother was up to.

"You alright?" asked Hap as I gave Piney the keys.

"No but go finish this Hap." I said as he nodded.

"I'm going to go catch up with them, stay at the clubhouse." said Hap as he gave me a quick kiss and left.

"We should get back." called out Piney as I watched Hap take off with Kozik. I walked over to the van and got in.

"Your mother is alright, probably at the clubhouse or something." said Piney as I wanted to believe him but I knew that was not true.

~A~

"What's going on here?" asked Piney as we arrived at the clubhouse as we noticed the parking lot was full of Atf agents.

"You think it's a raid?" I asked as they opened the truck and pulled us out before Piney answered. They had had me and Piney on the floor as they began searching the van.

"Let them up." said Stahl.

"Now what do you want?" I asked Stahl as the officer let me go.

"We need the whereabouts of Gemma Teller Morrow." she said as she walked over to me as Piney moved closer to me. "She is wanted for the murders of Polly Zobelle and Edmond Hayes."

"We don't know anything." I said as I was going to kill my mother once I got my hands on her.

"I find it hard to believe that she hasn't contact you." she said as my phone began to ring. I checked it and noticed it was Clay. Shit maybe he knew something by now.

"Clay I what." I said as stopped talking as I couldn't believe what he had just said. "We have to go" I said to Piney as he just looked at me and then back at everyone else.

"Jax needs me, they took Abel."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	23. Limits and Control

_All the Zobelle was feeling at the moment was excruciating pain, he thought he had made it up until he_

_heard the motorcycles behind him. _

_He already had everything to start over as always, but this time he would have to adapt without his daughter. _

_His heart broke when Hale reported to him that his daughter was dead. To survive this life you have to put everything behind and move on. _

_Zobelle only recognized one of the bikers that had dragged him and chained him to a fence. He was the one that was married to Clay's stepdaughter, and by the looks and feel of it he was making him pay. _

_Zobelle pleaded with the man claiming he was not involved with the rapes, that it was all on Weston. He cried out in pain as he was hit repeatedly all over his body with what seemed as a type of hammer he was already numb at it seemed as if they waited for him to wake up every time he would pass out. _

"_Just kill me" he mumbled as he was certain he had heard him turn on what seemed like a blowtorch. He knew this was the end and there was no one by his side. _

"_Yeah when I'm done." _

~A~

Lock down was called off as all the guys were sitting around at the bar as Jess was leaning on Bobby as Clay was talking to Gemma on the pre pay.

Hap and Kozik seemed to still be taking care of Zobelle as they were still not here.

After we came back to the clubhouse we found out Stahl had set up Gemma and Tig had already taken off a couple of hours ago to keep her safe. No one knew what to do, all we were doing was waiting for something.

Bobby's phone had began to ring as Jess walked over to the rooms as Clay passed the phone as she kept walking to the room as she talked with Gemma.

"Hap and Kozik are back." announced Bobby as one of the hangarounds went to open the back gate.

As Clay joined Bobby we heard Jess yelling about something to Gemma.

"That doesn't sound good." said Bobby as Clay just shrugged his shoulders, Jess and Gemma were known to fight over everything and this probably was one of those kind of fights.

Once Hap and Kozik walked in Clay stood up and thanked Hap.

"It's done." said Hap as Clay nodded. "Anything on Abel or Gemma?" He asked as he got a beer.

"Nothing on Abel, Gem was set up by the Atf bitch." Chibs said as he stood up.

"Jess?" he asked as he looked around the room.

"Dorm" said Bobby as Hap walked off without saying anything.

~Hap~

Walking into one of his brother's room after Jess kicked him out of the room as she ran to the restroom covering her mouth, that was something new usually when he walked into their house after a job all she would do was just glare at him as he made his way to the restroom as she would go to the kitchen and grab a bag for his clothes.

Stripping off his clothes he on the water, all he wanted right now was to get rid of this and go see how Jess was doing.

Hap couldn't relax as he knew Jess was going thru a lot of shit and he hated the fact that she didn't let herself handle it well. After running the soap several times thru his body removing every evidence that Zobelle ever existed he turned off the water and grabbed a towel.

After taking care of everything he walked back inside the room to find it empty as he heard Jess.

"Jess you have been throwing up for the past thirty minutes." He said as he stood by the door.

"You walked in covered with blood, what did you expect?" said Jess as she was sitting on the floor with a water bottle in her hand.

"Maybe you should get checked out." he suggested remembering it might be her heart medication's side effects.

"Yeah and what do I tell him, I spent half the night throwing up due to the fact that my husband showed up covered in blood and I can't get the smell out of my head."

Hap moved over to pick her up from the floor. "Alright common lets get you in bed."

"I need to wash my mouth."

"It's not like if I'm planning on kissing you" smirked Hap as Jess glared at him as he helped her stand up in front of the sink. Jess began to rinse her mouth as Hap got her toothbrush putting paste on it as he handed it over to her.

"Everything is going to be alright Jess." They were just kidding themselves if they thought they were going to be able to sleep.

"I don't see how." Jess said as she moved closer to him.

"Were going to get him back, and we will figure something out for Gemma" he said as he tried his best to comfort Jess even when he didn't feel so sure of how they were going to get out of this one.

~Jess~

Staring at the coffee pot was not making it go faster so I just decided to go sit down and wait for Chucky to bring me a cup as I went and joined Bobby.

"So the I'm going to go plan the wake for Half sack tomorrow." said Piney as we all looked over at him.

"Opie still with Jax?" I asked as Chucky brought me a cup of coffee.

"Yeah" answered Bobby as his phone began to ring.

"I'm going to be at the office." I said as I stood up and grabbed my cup and walked outside. I decided to sit down on the picnic table rather than walking over to the office.

"Let's go eat." said Hap as he took my cigarette away as I was going to light it. I was going to follow him but I was not really hungry so I stayed sitting down. "Jess"

"I'm not hungry Hap."

"Yeah coffee and and cigarettes are going to help you." he said as he threw the cigarette my way.

"Nothing is wrong with me." I said as I stood up and was about to walk away as he grabbed my arm.

"Right." he said as he let me go and I walked over to the office. I grabbed my phone from my bag as I decided to call mom and talk more calmly this time around if it was possible.

"Jess I need some assistance." said Clay as he walked in as I sat up and noticed the needle in his hand. I put the phone down and walked over to him.

"Have you talked to your mother today?" he asked as I held one of his hands and prepared myself to make the injection.

"It's best we don't talk for a couple of days." I said as he began to laugh as I finished.

"Let's get out of here no need to be locked up in here alone." he said as he put an arm around me as we walked outside.

"Oh is the princess keeping the bed warm while the queen is away?" said Stahl as she stood in front of us.

"Really that's the best you can come up with." I said as Clay held me back as Bobby and the guys joined us.

"You know Jessica I would like to know how safe do you feel with all these boys taking care of you, after all you got hurt on their watch didn't you. It's the reason your mother killed Polly and Zobelle is missing. Too bad your mother wasn't too lucky"

"Fucking bitch." I said as Bobby grabbed my arm and moved me back. I was going to kill either Hale or Unser when I saw them.

"Go inside Jess." said Clay as Stahl smiled over at me as I just turned around and walked to the clubhouse.

As I was about to close the door Hap walked in behind me.

"What did she want?" I asked as he closed the door.

"Something on Gemma. Jess when you see that bitch you got to hold everything in, she is just waiting for you to react."

"I can control myself it's just that bitch gets on my fucking nerves." I said as Hap moved towards me putting an arm around my waist as he held me against the wall as he crushed his lips on mine as his hands moved under my thighs as he picked me up.

"Hap this is not going to fix anything." I said as I held on to him as he carried me to the bed.

"No but it's what we fucking need right now."

I was wrong just by looking into his eyes all my worries were gone at that moment. With every touch he took every problem away for the moment as always. He is always there for me even when I think he will not be, I never seemed to give him that much credit.

~A~

"Hey we have to talk about Ma." said Hap as I got up and picked up my clothes.

"We need to go see her." I said as I began to get dressed. It had been a long time since I had gone and visited her, and every time I called her she had always asked when I was going.

"Yeah and also your going to have to limit your spending." he said as I turned around to look at him. "Ma's medical shit is breaking us right now Jess."

"Oh well um I don't think it will be that hard." I said as I tried to believe it myself.

"Just for a while, we will get back on track when all this shit with the club is over." he said as he stood up.

"Yeah I think I can manage" I said as he put his arms around me.

"Managing means you can't go to Clay or Jax when you need something."

"I know that."

"Right." he said as I got out of his hold and finished getting dressed.

"Shit."

"What?" I asked as I looked over at him.

"Clay needed me and Chibs to check some shit out."

"Then I suggest you get dressed." I said as I grabbed my purse and walked over to the door.

"Hey try to eat something." he said as as I walked out of the room.

~A~

I was about to walk into the kitchen as Piney called me over to the bar.

"Need anything?" asked Chucky as I walked passed him.

"No thanks. Hey what's going on?" I asked as I sat down next to Piney.

"I'm putting you to work on Half sack's things." he said as I should really just stayed in the room to avoid all of this.

"Have you let other Charters know for the funeral?" I asked as I noticed he was already drinking.

"Yeah Tacoma should be here tonight." he said as I began to fill out some paper work. "The wake is tomorrow."

"Wait what date are we?" I asked.

"The twenty third." he answered as he looked at his phone.

"Fuck really?" I asked as I realized something.

"You alright?" he asked as I began to count in my head. Shit I was late but it could be because of stress. Please let it be stress. I grabbed my purse and walked left the clubhouse. There was only one way to know right now.

"Hey where are you going?" asked Bobby as I passed by him.

"Going to Neeta's" I said as I got in the car before Hap realized that I was gone.

~A~

As I drove to the store I noticed my hands had began shaking, as I reached a red light I grabbed my purse as I looked for my cigarettes, when I was about to light one I began to feel guilt. What if I was?

"Fuck" I threw the package on the floor as the light turned green.

When I reached the store I grabbed my phone and dialed mom's new number I could not do this alone even if it meant having her thru the phone. It went straight to voice mail as I just grabbed my purse and walked inside.

"Can I borrow your restroom." I asked the cashier as I payed.

"Yeah it's right around the corner." she said as I thanked her and got my purchase.

"Oh this is just ugh disgusting" I said as I closed the door.

As I peed on the stick I was hoping all of this was just on stress, we did not need this not now.

I looked over at the test as I washed my hands. This just does not feel right I'm not going to find out here, I put the test in the box and left the restroom.

As I made my way to the only place I knew I would be alright with finding out the results I kept looking at my purse. I was not ready for a kid, we were not ready for a kid. Shit Hap doesn't even want a kid, I don't think I can raise one on a limit or without my mother.

"Okay just calm down Jess, it's all due to stress you can't be pregnant" I said to myself as I got out of my car.

"Donna I had no place to go, it's always been between you and me when it came down to this. It's not like if I could go to anyone Luann is gone and well mom is not here, oh great not only am I talking to a grave, I'm answering myself." I said as I sat down and leaned back.

As I grabbed the box as my phone began to ring. You have got to be kidding me, I put the box down and looked for my phone. "Hap just give me five minutes." I said as I hung up and put it back in my bag.

"Donna I don't even know what I want." I said as I grabbed the test throwing the box back in the bag.

"Shit now what does this mean?"

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	24. Expectations

One line, not pregnant. Two lines, pregnant. What did I want? Shit well I guess what I want or not want does not matter right now.

"Shit oh shit no." I said as I dropped the box and stared at the test. Two lines, two pink lines as I felt my heart beat slow down as my palms got sweaty. This is bad and not really the perfect time for any of this and probably never be.

"Donna what the hell am I supposed to do now?" I said as I leaned back as I closed my eyes.

When was I going to tell Hap about this? I have to tell him, I have to tell someone before I drive myself crazy. I don't think I will be able to handle this alone.

I got up and noticed that my legs were shaking as I grabbed my things and headed over to my car. I had to get back to the club before Hap called me again.

~A~

I arrived back at the clubhouse as I noticed that the guys were outside. As I got out Hap was on his way over to me.

"Where were you?"

"With Donna, Hap I have to tell you something."

"Hap we got to go." called out Chibs as I just wanted to blurt it out as Hap gave me a quick kiss.

"Stay to Piney." he said and walked over to his bike. I leaned on the car as I stayed there until he and Chibs took off. I locked my car and walked over to the clubhouse as I bumped into Clay.

"I need you to stock up the clubhouse, charters are coming in for tomorrow." said Clay as he gave me a kiss and walked passed me.

"Piney" I called out as I entered the clubhouse. The past couple of days the clubhouse had an uncomfortable silence to it.

"He's actually in the office." answered Chucky as he came out of the kitchen.

"Alright" I said as he nodded and was about to walk back as I noticed some guys cleaning. "Who are they?"

"They want to prospect for the club." he said as I just wanted to tell them to get out while they still could.

"I guess" I said as I walked out and headed over to the office. "Piney we have to go to the store." I said as I walked inside.

"You have to go to the store not me." he said as I sat down.

"Well Clay sent me to the store and Hap told me to stick to your side, so I guess you are stuck with me." I said as he got up and I grabbed the van keys and followed him.

"You alright?" he asked as I turned on the engine.

"Yeah I think." I said as I pulled out of the garage as he kept his eyes on me.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing" I said still avoiding his stare as I sped up hoping to get out of this confined space.

"You've been crying and don't try to deny it, it's written all over your face. So what is it?"

"Everything seems to be going the opposite direction I thought it would."

"Jessica when have things in this life ever gone our way." He was right, and I was glad I finally got to the store as I did not really want to talk about anything at this moment.

"I won't take long." I said as I found a parking and and got out of the van and headed inside.

Living in Charming meant that everyone knew everything in a matter of minutes. The death of Half-sack was all over the news and newspapers, Abel was missing and my mother was wanted there was no way I was going to be able to shop without the stares and murmurs every time I passed by someone.

By the time I had reached the last aisle I was reaching my breaking point with people giving me condolence and looks with empathy so I just payed and made my way to the van.

"How many people did you end up killing?" Piney asked as he got out of the van.

"None, but trust me if I hear one more sorry from someone I won't be able to promise anything."

"Let's get out of here, give me the keys I'll drive back." he said as I closed the doors and handed them over and began walking over to the passenger seat.

~A~

When we got to the clubhouse I was glad the ride over here had been a quiet one as we just listened to the radio. I saw that the guys were back my heart started beating faster as I spotted Hap's bike. Even though I hated the trip to the store it took my mind off the whole pregnancy thing.

"I'll get the guys to take care of it." Piney said as I nodded and walked over to Hap who was sitting by the ring. Well here goes nothing, I can do this he needs to know and I no one else to tell.

"It looks like you can't seem to stay at the clubhouse." said Hap as I walked his way stopping in front of him.

"I stayed by Piney's side." I said as he looked over at me as I moved to stand next to him leaning on the ring.

"You had something to tell me."  
>"I'm pregnant." I said as I looked over at him as he kept staring straight.<p>

"Can you at least say something."

"What do you want me to say." he said as he walked away over to his bike.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	25. What Lies Within Us

I sat up on the bed as I heard my phone ringing, I noticed I had not even taking my shoes off as I had laid down on the bed last night. I looked around the room I guess Hap really did have nothing to say.

I grabbed my phone as I kicked off my shoes and walked over to the shower, turning on the water I called Tara back but it went straight to voice mail.

~A~

After taking a shower and getting ready for another day at the clubhouse I walked out of the room heading over to where the guys were.

I sat down next to Piney as Clay once again was in the chapel as Bobby sat next to me as he offered me a muffin.

"No I'm not hungry" I said as Piney handed me a water bottle.

"Tig's got your mother in a motel, she's going to be alright we got Tig and the Oregon guys looking out for her." he said as his phone began to ring.

"Did you eat anything yet?" asked Hap as I looked over at him, now he had something to say. Asshole.

"Where is he?" Clay asked as he stepped out of the Chapel followed by Bobby.

"P.D Let him back in the house yesterday." answered Juice.

"Let's go get him" he said as all the guys stood up. "Jess go with Hap, Jax will need you."

"Why can't I just stay here." I said as Hap grabbed my arm as we walked over to his bike. I would of really appreciated if I could stay with Chucky and help him tidy up as he had put it.

Riding with Hap at this moment just pissed me off more that he had walked away without saying anything last night. The only person I wanted on my side apparently wasn't.

~A~

When we got to Jax's I got off the bike and walked over to Clay as we made our way to the door. I noticed Tara's car was not here as Neeta opened the door as we all stared at her figuring out why she was here.

"Tara called me, he's in the Nursery." she said as we walked inside. I walked over to the room followed by Opie as we found Jax passed out surrounded by empty alcohol bottles.

"Common Jax" I said as Opie grabbed one of his arms as we helped him stand up.

"We got some information on Abel." said Opie as Jax began to open his eyes. "I got him." said Opie as he carried him over to the restroom as I went to turn on the shower.

~A~

Once we got him in the shower I walked back into the kitchen as I wanted to know why Neeta was here instead of Tara.

"So why did Tara called you?" I asked her as she was turning on the coffee pot.

"Said she needed to get out of here that she didn't know what to do." Neeta answered as I sat down as Opie came out of the restroom closing the door. "Are you alright you seem a little pale. Have you been eating?" she asked as she gave me a cup of coffee.

"Yeah I already ate something" I said as she knew I was lying by the way she was looking at me as she served the guys coffee.

"Your mother wants to talk to you. Can you two try to be civil with each other." said Clay as he walked into the kitchen.

"Not really but we can try." I said as I smiled at him as I grabbed the phone and got up. "Hey mom." I said as I walked over to the living room.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked as know I felt bad for fighting with her the other day.

"Not really" I said as I sat down as I heard her sigh.

"Yeah me either I just miss all of you so much."

"Yeah we all need you over here mom."

"I want to be there to baby. I need you to keep on eye on Abel and Jax for me, especially Clay."

"Yeah um Neeta is back at Jax's taking care of him, and well I'll manage with Jax and Clay."

"That's good Jess I got to go. I love you."

"Alright I love you too mom" I said as I closed the phone, Clay thought it was a good idea to not tell mom about Abel I on the other hand saw it as a big mistake. She was going to kill us all when she finds out.

"Hey" said Jax as he walked up to me as I stood up and hugged him. "Who were you just talking to?"

"Just talking to mom, she still doesn't know about Abel."

"Yeah Clay just told me about that." he said as Clay walked in.

"Ready to go?" he asked Jax.

"Yeah let's go do this." he answered back as I let go of Jax.

"Jess" called out Clay as I was about to walk back into the kitchen.

"Stick to Piney I know." I said as I walked passed the guys as they left the house as Hap grabbed my arm.

"Neeta made you something to eat." said Hap as he walked me over to the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry." I said to both him and Neeta.

"Jessica sit down."

"I'm going to get the van, pick you up in a few." said Piney as Hap walked out.

"Please hurry." I said as he began to laugh as Neeta sat down in front of me.

"You want to talk?" Neeta asked as I looked over at her.

"I'm not ready to say anything."

"Alright I just want you to eat then, Hap said you haven't been eating."

"I hate feeling like I'm alone and the feeling just won't go away."

"Jessica that is the last thing you are."

"Yeah I guess." I said as I waited for Piney to come pick me up as Neeta began to clean as I ate.

"Anything on Abel?"

"No not yet." I said as she grabbed the plate as my phone began to ring.

"Well you didn't eat much but at least I got something in you." she said as she grabbed her things as we walked outside stopping me before I walked over to the the van. "Be careful Jess and call me if you need anything." she said.

"I will" I said as she let me go and made my way over to Piney.

~A~

All I wanted to do was just go home and just stay there till everything would get better, but I knew that was not going to be possible.

"Won't take long, we will be back at the clubhouse in no time." said Piney as he headed over to the funeral.

"I thought Half sacks things were already covered."

"Yeah just finishing up the arrangement for his hole." he answered.

"I'm going to take a walk" I said as he looked over at me as I got out of the van.

"Tell the old man that I miss him." he said as I just shook my head and made my way over to dad. As I was walking over I noticed Jax was there.

"Hey." he said as he looked up at me.

"Anything?" I asked as I sat down next to him as he shook his head no.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he held my hand.

"Here with Piney finishing up some stuff for Half sack."

"Another funeral."

"Our kind of life."

"I don't see a way out of this Jess. I can't ever make it right, I'm been trying to find some kind of balance between our family and the club and Tara I feel she needs to get out of this. I know you and mom would of taken a bullet for Abel, but I don't know with Tara. I feel like she could of done more and at the same time I just blame myself, this life."

"You know I don't really like Tara that much but I know she is different than me and mom she might just have a reason for not doing everything possible to have stopped Cameron. Jax you will find your balance once you get Abel back and you will Jax." I said as he pulled me in for a hug.

There were not that many times I had seen Jax cry, but every time I always want to find away to take his pain away. I noticed one of his rings that used to belong to dad was on top of the grave. Why would he take it off?

"Piney waiting for you?" he asked as he composed himself and stood up.

"Yeah." I said as he helped me stand up. "Jax do you think if dad was alive we would have gone thru all of this shit?"

"No he had other plans for the club. You should read dad's book."

"Nah I rather remember him the way he was before Tommy's death." I said as he put an arm around me as we walked over to where Piney had parked.

"You ready to go Hap's been calling you." said Piney as he passed me my phone.

"Yeah let's just get this over with." I said as I got in the van so that we could go back to the club.

~A~

Once we got back to the club everyone was getting ready for the wake as I went to change, walking into the room I heard the water running.

As I had finished getting dressed Hap walked out of the restroom as I was putting on my shoes, when I noticed he was walking over to me I grabbed my jacket and my phone and made my way to the door.

"Jess."

"Not now I'll wait for you outside." I said leaving the room. Even though I knew he was not going to be okay with the news I wanted him to be by my side not walking away from me leaving me to cry myself to sleep.

~Hap~

I kept my eyes on Jess as she was kneeled in front of Half's casket,every time I looked at at her I knew she was pissed at me. I had to clear my head last night, I still did not know what to think about Jess being pregnant or what she wanted to do.

As she stood up Chibs moved forward as Jax was walking in as Jess gave him a quick hug and made her way over to me.

Jess stayed by my side as we waited for Clay and Jax, she had avoided talking to everyone else not just me.

"Think we can stay at the house tonight?" she asked as we were leaving.

"If you want to." I said as she would probably feel better at the house. "Shit" I pulled Jess down as I heard the gunshots.

"Fuck you alright?" I asked her as I made sure everything was clear so that she could stand up.

"Yeah." she answered as I helped her stand up.

"Jess." called out Clay as he looked over to us.

"I'm good." she answered Clay. "Are you alright?" she asked me as she held on to me as she sought out my hand.

"Yeah." I answered as I held her hand as she looked around as she let go of my hand.

"Jax." called out Jess as I turned to see what was going on as she left my side and followed Opie as I saw Jax smashing one of the shooter's head. As Bobby and Opie held Jax back, Jess was trying to control Jax.

"Hap take Jess back to the clubhouse, last thing she needs is to worry about this shit." said Clay as she was making her way over to us with Bobby as they had Jax in handcuffs. He had a point but knowing Jess she was always worried about Jax.

"Jess go back to the clubhouse." said Clay as he gave her a hug.

"What about Jax?"

"I'll deal with Unser Jess, just go with Hap." answered Clay.

"Let's go" I grabbed her arm as we walked over to my bike.

~A~

I headed over to where I should have brought her yesterday, turning off the engine as she got off and as always walked over to the table.

"Came out here to clear my head last night." I told her as she sat down. "I never wanted a kid, right now I can't guarantee you that we will be alright." I said as she nodded. I felt like having a kid was not for us we could barely handle each other but I will be by her side.

"Hap I know I can do this without you, I just don't want to. I've reached a point where I'm so tired of worrying that I'm going to lose you."

"That's not going to happen."

"Then don't walk away when I need you the most."

"I've asked for a transfer to Samcro."

"That's good your club needs you."

"I'm not doing it for the club, I'm doing it for you, for us."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	26. Alone

Once again the clubhouse was quiet even though it was full, when we arrived I had not seen Clay's bike so I just walked straight to the room. Hap stayed at the bar as I got ready for bed, even though I knew I was not going to be able to sleep.

When I heard a lot of noise coming from outside I walked over to the window and noticed that one of the charters that came to pay respect to half sack were getting ready to leave. I moved away from the window as I heard someone open the door.

"Tacoma's heading out" said Hap as he walked in and I moved toward the bed removing the covers as he undressed. I hated staying at the clubhouse but according to Hap and Clay staying at the house was not an option tonight due to the drive by.

"Lucky for them" I said as I sat down on the bed. "Anything on Jax?"

"Clay said that Unser was keeping him overnight." he answered as I looked over at the clock and saw that it was just barely twelve. "Tomorrow we're going to take care of whoever did the drive by and we should be able to stay at the house."

"Hopefully." I said as I stood up to grab my phone as he stopped me and put his arms around me.

"Jess things are going to be alright don't worry about it." he said as I just shook my head, after all this time together I still do not know how he can stay calm when everything is going to shit.

"Hap we just got shot at in Charming, people died tonight because of the club and to top it all off my brother has lost his mind."

"Hey all that I care about is that you are safe Jess, I don't want you worrying about any of that we are going to take care of it."

"I just want all of this to be done so that we could get back to whatever we call normal." I said as I laid my head on his chest. I knew that once we were done with all of this we would have to deal with something else as always.

"It will soon." he said as he held me to him as I really wanted to believe him that things would get better when it just seemed to get worse as each day passed.

~A~

As I turned on my back I stared at the ceiling as I noticed I was alone in bed. I sat up and looked at the clock no wonder I had a headache since I had slept in all morning and it was now three.

When I stood up right away I felt as the room was spinning and sat back down, I clearly needed to go to my doctor since it had been three days that I had not taken my medication due to the warning I saw about pregnant women.

I took a deep breath and stood hoping to make it to the restroom without fainting or throwing up. Lately I hadn't been eating that much but that hadn't stopped me from getting sick.

Stepping into the shower I turned on the cold water as it usually helped me to wake up as I wanted to go back to bed and go to sleep. How could I be so tired? I sat down on the floor as the water seemed to relax me a bit.

~A~

After getting ready I stepped out of the room and noticed that no one was at the clubhouse. There was noise coming from the kitchen as I looked inside I noticed it was the new guys that wanted to prospect.

"Hey um Jess, Hap said that you can't leave the clubhouse." said one of them as I was looking for my car keys.

"What?" I looked at both of them as I could not believe the fact that Hap thought I was going to listen to these guys that had not even started prospecting. "Where's Piney?" I asked as I was getting frustrated and at this moment I would rather spend time with Chucky than these two.

"At the shop, but Hap said not to leave our sight."

"Oh okay." I said as I sat down at one of the tables. "Is the staring necessary?" I asked as I looked over at him.

"Do you need anything?" Are you hungry I can make pancakes. I'm Miles by the way and this is Phil."

"It's almost five why would she want pancakes." said Phil as he hit Mile's shoulders.

"People eat pancakes and all hours of the day."

"Alright yeah pancakes are good." I said as he nodded and went back to the kitchen as Phil kept staring at me. "Can you get me a coffee." I asked Phil as I smiled at him as I had already had one of them out of my hair.

"Yeah um I mean yes mam."

~A~

Once he went to the kitchen I grabbed my purse and headed outside, walking over to my car my phone began to ring. I checked to see who it was, as I got in my car and headed over to the hospital. I answered the phone even though I did not know the number.  
>"Jessica where in the hell is your mother?" yelled the person on the line.<p>

"I ask myself that everyday." I said as I realized it was Precious.

"I need to talk to someone over Bobby."

"Um I'm no where near Bobby so I can't help you." I said as I began to regret answering an unknown number.

"Oh I don't need to talk to that piece of shit, he was here this morning and had the balls to say to me that the check was in the mail." she said as I really did not know how to handle this.

"Look Precious the club is going thru some things when I see Bobby I'll tell him to call you." I said and ended the call as I got to the hospital.

The only thing I loved about my doctor was that there was never any wait time and he was always available. Telling him that I had stopped taking my medication was something I was not looking forward to.

"Well Teller what I the reason for this check up. Usually the only time I see you is either your mother is dragging you here or you have run out of medication." he said as he walked into the room.

"I stopped taking my pills." I said as he put my file down and looked at me.

"Please tell me there is a very good reason why I should not get one of my nurses to prepare you a room in this hospital."

"I'm pregnant and I read the label that I should not be taking them and I have no idea what to do."

After he went thru all the risks that could happen with my pregnancy and heart condition he called and made an appointment for today so that they could keep everything under control.

If my mother did it with three I can do it with one. Getting off the elevator I stared at the doctor's office I was recommended not really wanting to go inside, maybe I could come another time.

Several minutes had passed as I had just stared at the door when I decided to walk in and sign in, if I would of told Neeta I would probably not be doing this alone.

"We will call you in shortly please take a seat." said the receptionist as I walked over to the seating area. As I took a seat the lady next to me stood up and moved away, well I was used to the staring but not that.

Apparently everyone seemed to want to keep a distance from me as if I was the one that was shooting at the wake yesterday. I was on my third magazine as my phone began to ring, I noticed it was an unknown number.

"Hello" I answered hoping it wasn't Precious but really at this moment I really wouldn't mind talking to her.

"Jess" called out mom on the line at least I didn't have to worry about someone hearing my call.

"Hey"

"Heard about the wake. How is everybody?"

"Taking care of it, everything just seems to be going on the opposite direction."

"I know baby I wish I was there just wanted to check up on you."

"Yeah hey I got to go." I said as they called me.

"Alright I love you. Take care of my boys." she said and hung up thankfully she did not hear them call me.

Waiting for the doctor brought back memories as when I would always be by Donna's side when she was pregnant with Ellie and Kenny. I was always more worried than her when it came to the appointments. I closed my eyes and leaned back hoping all of this went by fast as I kept doubting if I could really do this.

~Unser~

I noticed Jess was leaving the hospital as I was about to walk in, I knew something was bothering her and did not noticed me as she walked passed me.

"Jessica everything alright?" I asked as I followed her to her car.

"Yeah just a regular check up." she said as I knew there was something more. "I'm heading over to the clubhouse talk to you later." she said as I nodded and walked back inside the hospital and dialed Clay's number.

~Jess~

Killer had not left my side as I had walked into the house, I grabbed my phone and dialed Hap's number as I walked over to the back yard. I laid down on the grass as Killer joined me and laid his head on my stomach as I closed my phone as Hap did not answer.

"I guess it's just you and me." I said as I scratched Killer's head.

"So I don't answer one phone call and I'm already replaced." called out Hap as he walked outside and towards me and joined me on the grass. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just needed some air, I went to the doctor today."

"How did that go?"

"Well I'm five weeks and apparently he is the size of an apple seed." I said as I wanted to go inside to show him the sonogram that really did not show anything yet just a sac or whatever he called it but was not in the mood to get up.

"He is in it too early to know if it's a boy?" he asked as I sat up and leaned on him.

"Hap you know where women stand in our world so I'm saying we are having a boy." I said as I really hoped it would go my way.

" Jess whatever we end up having I will make sure nothing ever happens to them." he said as I turned around and kissed him as he put an arm around me as I leaned back as Hap moved on top of me as Killer began to growl at Hap.

"Hey" we both called out making Killer step away from us.

"Let's go inside." said Hap as he stood up and helped me get up.

"Killer let's go." I said as I walked inside.

"He is not sleeping inside." Hap said as he moved me away from the door and closed it.

"Hap he is not sleeping outside." I said as I went to open the back door as he put an arm around me.

"He needs to learn that he did something wrong." he said as Killer began to whine, there was no way I was going to allow this.

"All he was doing was protecting me which what you always tell him to do, and he is probably just going to get a little over protective these days." I said as I leaned on the door.

"So what are you telling me Jess you need protection from me now?" Hap asked as he moved towards me.

"No" I said as I put my hands on his chest as I tried to moved away from the door. "Can he just sleep on the floor?"

"He is not coming into my house until I say so." As he walked away I opened the back door and let Killer in, Hap knows I would never let my baby sleep outside no matter what he did. I locked all the doors and turned off the lights and was expecting Hap to say something as I knew Killer had gone straight to the room.

I walked into the room to find Hap glaring at me as Killer was on the bed, closing the door I walked over to the restroom and got ready to take a shower. It had been a long day and all the appointment with the doctor did was make me more nervous and I just wanted to forget it all.

Walking out of the restroom I noticed Hap was not in the room as I grabbed one of his shirts and put it on as I walked out of the room.

"Are you serious?" I asked as I walked into the living room and turned on the light as Hap was on the couch.

"Turn off the light Jess." he said as I walked over to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"You make your own decisions I make mine." he said. I just shook my head and walked away and turned off the light and walked back to the couch.

"What are you doing Jess?" Hap asked as I joined him on the couch, I was going to regret sleeping on the couch in the morning but I really did not want to sleep alone.

"You got to be shitting me." said Hap as killer joined us on the couch as I just closed my eyes as Hap held me.

(Thanks for reading and Reviewing)


	27. Decisions to Make

As I opened my eyes I noticed I was in the room instead of the couch, sitting up I noticed Hap was still asleep as was killer at the foot of the bed. I laid back down thinking I was going to be able to go back to sleep.

I gave up trying to go back to sleep and decided to make something to eat, as I was walking out of the room killer woke up and followed me to the kitchen.

"Really you're worst than the prospects." I said as he as he followed every step I made. I was going to open the back door as I heard someone knocking.

"Morning" I said as I opened the door as Clay walked in.

"Morning baby girl. How are you doing?" he asked as he closed the door.

"Good, making breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, Hey Unser called me yesterday." he said as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Yeah I saw him at the hospital yesterday. Everything alright?" I asked as I did not really know why he brought up Unser.

"He said that you looked like something was bothering you." he said as I gave him a cup of coffee as I served him a plate.

"No I'm fine." I said as Hap walked in and sat at the table as I fixed him a plate.

"What's going on?" Hap asked.

"Jess give us a second." said Clay as I nodded and headed over to the room, I wanted to hear what they were talking about but thanks to Killer I was unable so I just walked into the room and got dressed I was thinking about going to see Neeta today.

As I took my vitamin I headed back to the kitchen as I had already lost my appetite and just wanted to go do something rather be stuck here at the house.

Clay stood up as he finished his coffee as I grabbed his plate and took it over to the sink as I noticed they were both staring at me.

"Now what's going on?" I asked as I turned my attention to both of them as I knew something was up.

"I was telling Hap it would be better if we keep you on lock down at the clubhouse. We just don't want you out alone at this moment." he said as I just stared at him. Was he serious and what was the reason for this bullshit?

"Clay I-

"It's not up for discussion Jess." said Hap.

"See you at the club." said Clay as he walked out as I looked over at Hap.

"Don't start Jess."

"Hap I don't see why-

"It was a club decision" I knew he was lying, they had no reason to want me on lock down. What did Unser tell Clay?

"Bullshit."

"Enough" said Hap as he slammed his hand on the table. "Sit down and eat."

"I lost my appetite."

"Well then get your shit so that we could go."

"Can I at least take my car." I said as he stood up and grabbed his cut.

"No you don't need it." as he walked out I locked the back door and cleaned up the kitchen. I grabbed my phone and noticed mom had called me several times, I called back but it went unanswered as I locked the front door and walked over to Hap.

I closed my eyes as I held on to Hap as we made our way to the club, I hoped the feeling of always wanting to throw up to go away already.

~A~

When we got to the clubhouse I was glad to see that the shop was open so that I had something to do today. I got off and put the helmet on the bars as I walked away.

"Jess." called out Hap as I just walked over to the office bumping into Piney.

"Morning. You got yourself a haircut." I said surprised he had done something for himself.

"Your the only one to notice." he said as I grabbed the work orders and tried to get things in order.

"It's a slow day." I said as there were not that many orders.

"Yeah I guess it has something to do with the town being pissed at us." he said and walked out as Jax walked in.

"Anything on Abel?" I asked as I put the papers down as he closed the office door.

"He's in Vancouver."

"So what are you going to do? When are you going?"

"Precious old man has a guy up there, I'm heading over there tomorrow after the run I'm going to take mom with me I'm going to need you Jess." he said as I nodded.

"Yeah I'm right here with you Jax."

"What about Hap?" Jax asked as I looked over at him.

"Well your going to need me for Abel and Hap can go Nomad or stay here." I said. "What about Tara you going to let her know what's going on?" I asked as he sat down as I leaned on the desk.

"Right now I can't involve her in this, she's not one of us Jess she doesn't need any of this."

"Have you talked to her?" I asked as I had not seen Tara around these days.

"I haven't had the chance, she's actually up there with mom at the moment."

"What are you serious?"

"Yeah Tig needed some assistance after our grandfather shot him."

"I don't even want to know why." I said as he stood up and hugged me.

"Got to go I got an Asian buffet I have to attend." he said as he smiled as I hit his shoulder.

"Disgusting" I said as I sat down as he left, I thought we were done with Porn. I grabbed the paper work and stood up as I opened the file cabinet as Hap walked in.

"I thought you guys had already left." I said as I was sure I had heard them take off, I kept my back to him as I was not really in the mood to talk to him at this moment.  
>"There was no need for me to go" he said as he walked over to me putting his hands on my hips as he kissed my neck as he moved his hands to my shirt as he began to unbuttoned it.<p>

"I'm going with Jax to Vancouver tomorrow. " I said as he stopped what he was doing. "Jax is going to need me for Abel." I turned around to face him. I should have asked him rather than tell him what I had already planned. "Hap"

"Shut up Jessica."

"You do this to me all the time, Jax needs me and I know I should have talked to you first before I told Jax I could I don't see why you would have a problem with it." I said as I really did not know what to tell him.

"It's not just you this time around." he said as I realized I was not thinking about the baby.

"I know Hap."

"Do you? What if you get caught huh have you thought of that? What happens to the kid if you get locked up with your mother?" he said and slammed the door as he left. We or maybe I was not ready for a child nothing was ever going to get better.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	28. Blackout

I was sitting on the middle of the bed as I stared at the picture that Jax had handed to me as he left, when I looked at a picture of Cameron's dead body I just didn't even want to feel anything.

It just seemed as if there was never going to be a way out of this. All I could think about right now was if Abel was safe.

"You should sleep we have a long day tomorrow." said Hap as he walked into the room.

That was the last thing I wanted to do at this moment. When he walked into the bathroom I turned off the light and left the room.

I was glad that I was able to leave the clubhouse alone as I headed over to the roof, I needed some air and some time to think.

When I sat down I heard someone climbing the stairs I was relieved it wasn't Hap as Clay walked over to me.

"Have you talked to Jax?" he asked as he sat down next to me.

"No he left before I said anything." I said as I leaned into him.

"Something is up with you Jessica"

"Not really I'm just not myself these days."

"Yea I can tell" he said as he put an arm around me as we sat in silence.

~Hap~

I reached over to grab Jess and move her over to me as I woke up, I got up from the bed as I found her side to be cold and remembered that I had fallen asleep before she got back to the room.

Last night I had gotten out of the shower and noticed she was not in the room. Bobby had let me know that she was on the roof with Clay so I had just headed back to the room.

I grabbed my cut and headed out the room to go see where the hell was Jess, she knew better than to leave this clubhouse without telling me.

"Seen Jess old man?" I asked as I walked into the bar and only found Piney at the bar.

"Finishing some things in the office" answered Piney as I walked outside and straight over to the office. The shop was going to be closed this afternoon so I saw no fucking need for her to be doing this shit.

"Did you even sleep?" I asked her when I walked in and sat down as she was cleaning the desk and nodded. "Might as well fucking ignore me, rather than nodding your fucking head.

"I slept for a couple of hours Hap. Am I going to head over with Jax to moms?" As I get up feeling pissed that she still thinks she is going north with Jax and Gemma.

"No were going to go see mom." I said and left the office slamming the door on the way out.

~Jess~

I had already locked up the shop and waiting for Piney in the van as I noticed the guys were getting ready to take off.

"Why are you not riding with me?" asked Hap as he opened the door.

"Not feeling well."

"Yeah right." he said and slammed the door as Piney got on.

"Everything alright with you and Hap?" he asked as we followed the guys.

"Yeah just dealing with some things as always." I said as I looked out the window hoping Piney got the point that I did not want to talk about it.

"So what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing I'm fine."

"You know by now that saying you are fine well work with me, besides something is up with you if Hap asked Clay

"What?"

"Yeah he did. So what is wrong?"

"Nothing" I said as I was already pissed off at Hap.

So much for keeping our shit between us, and here he is making Clay and the club think something was wrong with me. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep as I hoped it would make the trip go faster.

~A~

I woke up as I heard a door open and sat up as I noticed we had stopped somewhere. "Wait here." said Piney as he got off as Samcro made the trade. I stretched my legs as they were starting to feel numb as I noticed Clay and Jax were not with us anymore.

"Ready to head out?" asked Piney as he got back in the van.

"Where are we going now?" I asked as I noticed Chibs and Juice headed out with Opie.

"Bobby and Hap need to go visit Annie for some low price prescription meds."

"Annie?" I asked as I looked over at him as he seemed to be smiling.

"An old friend." he said as I just shook my head.

"Right."

When we got to the place I got off and walked over to Hap as Piney and Bobby noticed something was going on as there were some guys outside the house.

"Just go inside." said Hap as he put his hand on my back as there seemed to be more guys inside, once I noticed someone was curled up on the floor as Piney helped her up I noticed it was his friend as the guys searching the house noticed us and pointed his gun.

"Go" said Hap as he pushed me over to Bobby who grabbed my hand as we went into a room as Hap stayed shooting the guys.

"Hap" I said as I grabbed him by his cut and pulled him inside the room as he would probably wanted to stay out there longer.

As Piney's friend explained what was happening I leaned on Hap as he tried to call for back up with no luck.

"Where going be fine" said Hap as he put his arm around me as the guys outside started shooting into the room. "Shit" said Hap as he turned me around as he covered me.

"Let's move over here." said Annie as she went over to the wall and opened a door.

"Yeah I feel so much better now." I said as we all walked into the small room as Hap went straight to the phone. I looked over at Bobby and Piney as they figured out what we were going to do.

I noticed Annie became worried when the guys offered to let us go if we gave them Annie. "That's not going to happen." I said to reassure her as she just nodded and stood next to me.

Once Hap and Bobby started shooting with Piney I held on to Annie's hand as we leaned on the wall. I think I would have been much safer with Jax and Clay.

~A~

In the end the thieves had broken into the little room as Hap stood in front of me as they pointed their gun at us. This is not good at all I just hope Hap was able to get a hold of someone.

"Move" said one of the guys to me as he pointed the gun at Hap, I didn't say anything as they just grabbed me by the arm as they led us outside as Hap glared at him. I tried to ignore the sick feeling and kept my eyes on Hap.

"Now I feel much more safe." I said as I noticed Clay and the guys had arrived, once the guys from Rouge River showed up they let us go.

"Never touch my woman." said Hap as he knocked the guy out as I walked over to Clay.

"You alright baby girl?" asked Clay as he put an arm around me.

"Yeah now that I'm not getting shot at. Hows mom?"

"Good just dealing with some of your Grandfather's things. You heading back with us?"

"No I have to go with Hap over to visit Ada first."

"Alright be safe call me when you're heading our way." he said as I gave him a quick hug and walked over to Hap. I closed my eyes a bit as I began to feel dizzy as I made my way over to the bike.

"Ready?" Hap asked as I walked over to him as I put on his hoodie.

"Yeah."

"You alright?" he asked as he grabbed my hand.

"It's nothing." I said and put on the helmet and got on as he waited a while but then started his bike as I just wanted all of this to be over.

~A~

It felt as if we were never going to get there as we finally reached the hospice, even though I didn't have a problem with visiting Ada it just was not a good day.

"Want anything?" Hap asked as we were going to pass a vending machine.

"Water would be good" I said as Hap bought me one as we walked our way over to Ada's room. "Did you tell her we were coming?"

"Yeah she knows" he said as he opened the door as I walked inside as Ada was sitting on the bed as she smiled as she saw us.

"I missed both of you" she said as I gave her a hug and I began to feel guilty as it had been awhile since we had visited her.

"Sorry it's been a long time."

"So what is going on between you two?" she asked as I sat down as she stared at Hap who was looking at me.

"Nothing we're fine." I said as she turned to look at me and turned off the TV. "How are you?" I asked.

"Good just being a burden here when I could be at my sisters." she said as she looked over at Hap. Here we go again every time we came here this is how it would end Ada would get mad at Hap and ignore each other.

"You need to be here and that is that." said Hap.

"I think you forget that I'm the mother here and I can make my own choices." said Ada as she turned on the television.

After awhile we just sat there as we all realized this was not the day to deal with any of this as I really just wanted to get out of here Ada kept looking at me and Hap as if she was trying to figure something out.

"Is everything okay with you and your family?" she asked as she broke the silence.

"Yeah just need to deal with some things" I said as Hap stood up and walked over to Ada.

"We have to go" said Hap as he gave Ada a hug as I stood up and grabbed my things.

"We will see you soon." I said as I gave Ada a hug as Hap left the room.

"Whatever it is you two better get your shit together you're just hurting each other." she said as she let me go.

I found Hap was waiting for me outside of the room, he didn't say anything as he just walked in front of me as we left the building. "Why didn't you let mom know about the kid." said Hap as we walked over to his bike.

"I thought you were." I said as he grabbed my arm as he turned to face me.

"You trying to tell me something here Jess?"

"What are you talking about Hap?"

"You're not taking care of yourself and not telling anyone. Tell me right now rather than having me worrying over something you seem not to want." he said as his phone began to ring.

"We got to go to Charming." said Hap as he closed his phone.

"I thought I was leaving with Jax?" I asked as I really did not want to discuss this.

"It's your mother." he said and walked to his bike. What did my mother have to do in Charming right now?

"Hap what is going on?" I asked as I got a bad feeling over this.

"Get your ass on and we can find out." he said as I grabbed the helmet and got on behind him as I ignored the fact that my hands were shaking.

~A~

I didn't even feel the way back as I all cared about was my mother as we reached St. Thomas I began to panic. Why were we here? I didn't even wait for Hap to turn off his engine as I got off and almost fell as Hap grabbed my arm as I steadied myself.

"Jess slow down" said Hap as I just wanted to go check up on mom.

"I'm fine" I said and moved away from him and walked inside as he put an arm around me as I saw Clay standing with all the guys.

"What happened?" I asked as I began to feel as if the room was spinning. "We haven't heard anything yet." said Clay as I nodded an leaned on the wall as everything went black.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing.)


	29. Blame

The light stung my eyes as I tried to open them as I could hear someone talking above me as someone had grabbed my arm. When my eyes seemed to have adjusted to the light I noticed it was Tara and a nurse next to her as I tried to sit up as my whole body felt numb.

"Jess how are you feeling?" she asked as she helped me sit up as I looked around the room.

"I'm alright, I think." I said as the nurse handed me a cup of water. "Where am I?"

"I have you in one of the exam rooms, you fainted in the waiting room."

"Hows my mother?" I asked as I remembered what I was doing at St. Thomas.

"Jess when was the last time you ate?" she asked.

"This morning." I answered as I tried to stand up the last place I wanted to be was in a hospital.

"Jess I need you to stay here for awhile." she said as she held me back.

"I'm fine it's probably nothing I just had a stressful day and was not able to sleep last night." I said as I sat back down as I looked for my shoes.

"I'm going to order a blood test and let the guys know you're up." she said as she walked out of the room. As I stood up I felt a little better but still dizzy as I sat back down as Hap walked in.

"What did Tara say?" he asked as he closed the door and walked over to me.

"I'm just going to get a blood test and I can leave." I said as I really did hope I would be able to go home and rest.

"Are you taking your meds?" he asked as he stood in front of me.

"They are not safe for the baby, for now I just need to take it easy and and monitor my health with the doctor." I said as a nurse walked into the room.

"Excuse me Dr. Knowles ordered a blood test." she said and began preparing her things. I looked over at Hap as he had not said anything, I knew he was not okay with me not taking my medication and I knew the vitamins would not help that much but were safer and they were what the baby needed.

"Anything on mom?" I asked as I looked away as I felt the needle pierce my skin, I needed a distraction since I knew I would not stand looking at blood at this moment.

"Nothing yet they just let Clay in her room." Hap answered.

"So they gave her a room?"

"Better than a cell." he said as I had not really thought about that till now. What the hell was mom thinking about coming to Charming. "Don't worry about it Jess." he said when the nurse walked out. How can I not worry about it and where the hell was Tara?

"Hap."

"Don't even start Jess."

"I just want to go home." I said as Tara walked in as I sat back down and Hap walked out of the room.

"So can I leave now right?" I asked as she sat down as she looked at some papers. I saw no reason I had to stay if this time it wasn't my heart.

"Jess um you're pregnant." she said as she looked over at me.

"Yeah well what does that have to do with me fainting."

"Well your blood pressure was low when you fainted and you not eating all day and not sleeping last night really did not help. Does Hap know you're pregnant?"

"Only he knows." I said as she stood up.

"Why haven't you told the guys or Gemma?"

"It's just not the right time right now." I said as she just nodded her head. "Anything on my mother?"

"Bad Arrhythmia, she hasn't been taking her meds. I'm going to see if I can get you an appointment tomorrow with your doctor just to make sure everything is alright."

"Yeah that sounds good thanks."

"Yeah just make sure you get some rest tonight." she said as she stepped out of the room. I stood up and grabbed my shoes as Hap walked back into the room.

"So they are just going to let you go." he asked as he closed the door.

"Hap I'm not even signed in, I'm fine just tired." I said as he helped me put on my boots.

"Right I'll remind you the next time you faint on me."

"Can we just go home." I said as I still felt dizzy but it was nothing serious as we walked out of the room.

"Clay wants you at the club." he said as I stopped walking as I looked over at him. I was getting tired of them telling me I could not stay in my own house.

"Clay or you?" I asked even though I knew I was not going to get that answer right now.

"Let's go" he said as he put an arm around my waist as we walked over to where the guys were. Once Jax saw me he walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"You had us all worried first mom and now you." he said as he held me tighter.

"Jax I'm fine." I said as Jax let me go and Opie hugged me.

"Fine you and that word, you can't just go fainting out of nowhere" yelled Piney at me as he gave me a quick hug.

"Tara said that I was alright I just need some rest." I said as the guys really did not seem that convinced.

"Well let's go I got the van." said Piney as he put an arm around me as Hap walked in front of us. Once we were in the van I felt Piney's kept looking my way as we made our way to the clubhouse, I was just glad he kept his thoughts to himself.

~A~

Hap also had not said anything as we made our way to the room. Once in the room I made my way straight to the bed as all I was planning on was getting sleep.

"Don't you think a shower will help you feel better?" Hap asked as he grabbed one of my legs as he helped me out of my boots.

"Yeah I guess that will help." I said as I stood up and followed him over to the restroom. As I undressed Hap turned on the water for me.

I placed my hands on the shower wall as I closed my eyes as the water ran down my body. I just wanted all of this to just go away and not have anything to worry about and have everything just go back to normal.

"I thought you wanted this Jess." said Hap as I felt him standing behind me as he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back on him as he placed his hands on my stomach. "What changed?"

"Nothing." I said as I turned around to face him. I really did not know what to tell him.

"Then why are you not taking care of yourself?"

"It was just a bad day with all the shit that happened today and not sleeping well last night just fucked me up. I want this baby Hap all I need is time, I want to be able to be happy and enjoy this but at the same time I can't stop feeling guilty that I'm right here and we have no idea where Abel is or what he is going thru."

"Jess we are going to take care of that, all I need from you is to take care of yourself for our kid." he said as he held me as I nodded and just hoped everything would get better soon.

~Next Day~

I kept hearing a phone as I felt Hap move, right now all I wanted was to stay in his arms for a little while longer.

"It's yours." said Hap as he moved off me as I reached over for my phone.

"Hey." I answered as I noticed it was Tara.

"Hey Just to let you know that I got you an appointment at twelve." she said as I looked over at the clock and noticed it was seven thirty.

"Alright thanks." I said as I was planning on going back to sleep for another hour.

"Jess just make sure you get something to eat before the appointment." she said and hung up.

"Okay." I said to myself and put my phone back on the nightstand and laid back down. I looked over at Hap who seemed not to have a problem going back to sleep.

"Who was it?" Hap asked as he put an arm around me as I moved closer to him resting my head on his chest.

"It was Tara letting me know that she got me an appointment today at twelve."

"I thought everything was alright."

"Yeah it is just a precaution."

"You sleep alright?" he asked as I just nodded my head as he rubbed my back as I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. "We should get you something to eat." said Hap. Even though I wanted to go back to sleep I was actually hungry and I really doubt Hap would of let me go back to sleep.

I sat up as Hap reached over for his phone and got up from the bed and turned on the light as I looked around the room.

"I'm going to need to stop at the house first." I said as I got off the bed and made my way to the closet as Hap stopped me mid way as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you." he said as I stared at him as if it had been the first time he had ever told me. I was feeling horrible for how I had been treating him these past few days but at this moment I really felt like shit.

"I'm really sorry Hap for everything." I said as he leaned down and kissed me.

~Gemma~

I was surprised not to see Jess here as I woke up, she was one of the first persons I wanted to talk about Abel, I was beyond pissed that they kept this from me. I had every right to know and what made it worse that she had to find out about it from that Maureen bitch.

Even thought thanks to Maureen Jax would know the real whereabouts about Abel, but Belfast was the last place I ever wanted Jackson to step on.

At this moment I have to much to worry about let alone breaking the news to Jess that the deal I made with Stahl might not work in my favor. I can just imagine how she is dealing with Abel being gone, I just hope this life has made her stronger to deal with all this.

~Jess~

After making a quick stop at the house and getting something to eat we made our way to the hospital. Now that I come to think of it I should tell Neeta so she might start accompanying me to these appointments, but I still have no idea in how to tell my mother that I was pregnant let alone Neeta.

"Do you want me to call you when I get out?" I asked Hap as we walked off the elevator as we had reached the floor that my doctor's office was located.

"No there's no need." he answered as he opened the door.

"You're going to stay?" I asked as I looked over at him.

"Yeah why?"

"Nothing." I said as we walked into the office and made our way to the front desk. I was surprised and kinda excited Hap wanted to be apart of the visit even though it was probably because he didn't trust me alone.

After I signed in Hap sat next to me the office got very quiet you could have actually been able to hear a pin drop as everyone avoided staring at Hap.

"For some reason I think my cut is making these bitches uncomfortable." whispered Hap as he smiled at me as I shook my head.

"Right it must be that." I said as he put an arm around me as I leaned on his shoulder. Hopefully everything will be fine.

"Jessica Teller" after waiting for thirty minutes they had finally called me. I still had to go check up on mom but for right now I needed to stay calm so that everything would be fine.

"Right this way" said the nurse as we followed her into the exam room. I just hoped this visit will go fast since I still had to go see mom and find out what was going on with her.

"Please step on the scale." I heard the nurse say as she smiled at me as I really hated the fact that I was going to have to do this at every appointment. I was as uncomfortable as the nurse as Hap stared at the both of us. As I noticed as she wrote down my wright I noticed I gained three pounds.

"What really like in just a week." I said as I really did not feel any different, well maybe because it was not that much.

"Yes it's normal you're going to end up gaining more as the weeks go by." she said as I glared at Hap as he looked down as he was smiling as he knew I was going to blame him for this.

"Yeah" I said as I tried not to think of that and was clearly not looking forward to gaining more.

"Alright so Dr. Walker ordered a blood test, please take a seat while I prepare everything." she said as she kept smiling at me. She was starting to get on my nerves as she seemed way to happy.

"Okay relax." she said as I looked over at Hap as I felt the needle puncture my skin, could they not have used last night results.

"Alright all done, someone will be here in a few."

"Thank you" I said as the nurse walked out. "Do I look like I gained three pounds?" I asked Hap as he shrugged and walked toward me.

"All I kept thinking was these were going to get bigger." said Hap as he cupped my breasts.

"Ha my breast will not be for you." I said as I tried to push him away.

"Hey I've got enough time to learn how to share." he said as I began to laugh as I just wrapped my arms around him. "Talking about whats mine is there a reason why you just use Teller?" he asked as I let him go as I grabbed the hospital gown and began to undress.

"Well my insurance card has always had Jessica Teller." I said as I sat down on the exam table as I changed into the gown I was required to put on.

"Yeah and what does your license say." he asked as he leaned on the counter.

"Teller – Lowman." I said as I was not really understanding the reason as to why we were talking about this.

"Then why can't they use Lowman?"

"Does it really matter?"

"I'm just saying beside you do know my kid will just carry my name." he said as I looked over at him.

"Our kid will carry our names." I said as I did not see a problem with that.

"There's no need for that."

"Well I'm carrying the child and I'm the one that's going to gain the weight, and I had to give up smoking and alcohol while you stay the same and just sit around and watch."

"You don't carry Gemma's name."

"Well maybe because she was not that close to her parents." I said as he walked over to the chair and sat down.

"I'm just letting you know how I want it."

"Right" I said as I left it at that as he was pissing me off making a big deal out of nothing, it was just a name.

"So what next?" Hap asked as we had already been waiting for awhile.

"Hopefully we get another ultrasound to make sure everything is good." I said as I heard someone knock.

"Good afternoon." said Dr. Samson as he walked into the room. "How are we doing today Jessica?" he asked as he took a seat as he looked over my paper work.

"Better than yesterday."

"Oh is the father joining us today." he asked as I looked over at Hap.

"Yes this is my husband Hap" I said as he offered his hand and I was thankful Hap shook his hand and was able to act civil.

"Nice to meet you are you prepared to be a father?"

"Getting there." answered Hap.

"A step at a time." he said as he set the paper work down on the counter. "I was able to talk to Dr. Knowles about the incident you had last night. Is there a specific reason why you were unable to sleep?" he asked as he kept staring at me.

"No I just wasn't tired, but I was able to sleep last night." I said as he nodded and looked back at his papers.

"Well your body is working over time and you should be taking care of yourself more than usual." he said as I had promised Hap that I would start last night. "Any major changes that could be causing stress that may result for you not to be able to sleep?"

"Isn't being pregnant one?"

"Well yes but I also had a chance to talk to Dr. Knowles and she let it slip that she had recommended some time back to visit a psychiatrist."

"Yeah I was just going to some problems." I said as I really needed to talk to Tara about airing out that bullshit when she was the one that said no one was going to know.

"Are those problems still affecting you at this moment."

"No" I said as I was feeling very uncomfortable and just wanted all of this to be over as soon as possible. Last thing I wanted was for him to think I was unstable as I had a feeling he already did.

~Gemma~

As Unser stepped out of the room I noticed the time. What the hell was Jess up to that she was not here already.

"Where's Jess?" I asked Clay as he walked around the room.

"She and Hap are probably still at the clubhouse, after last night it seems Jess needs all the rest she can get. Just like you she worries herself too much."

"How are things with her and Hap?" I asked as I knew there was something going on.

"Hap just worried that all this may be too much for Jess." said Clay as he sat down. "We've all been noticing that she hasn't been herself lately."

"She's been thru worse." I said as I knew they didn't need to be reminded on what we had just gone thru and I could still see the pain in Clay as he probably still blamed himself.

"Yeah but she had her mother."

"I just fucked everything up" I said as I closed my eyes and hoped Jess would come see me already.

~Jess~

At this moment I was already frustrated and hungry as we waited for the ultrasound technician, but what bothered me more was how Hap was able to be so calm about everything all the time.

"Has anyone called you?" I asked him as I checked my phone and realized I had no missed calls.

"Already talked to Clay told him I wanted you to sleep in." he said as I turned off my phone again. "When did you talk to the psychiatrist" Hap asked as I stared at the ceiling.

"It was a couple of weeks after the attack."

"Why didn't you let me know?" he asked as he walked over to me.

"It was before I told you and it was just one time. Nothing useful happened just made me feel worse than how I was feeling. Trust me talking to Neeta was much more helpful and less judgmental. Now thanks to Tara and her big mouth my doctor things I'm depressed."

"Well are you?" he asked as I rolled my eyes as I looked over at him.

"I don't think I'm depressed I'm just tired."

"Well then who gives a shit what they think, all that matters is what I think about you."

"Hap I think your not in the best position to evaluate me as sane." I said as I smiled at him as it was clearly known Hap may not be all there.

"Finally." I whispered to Hap as someone knocked and opened the door.

"Sorry to have keep you waiting." she said as she walked inside.

"It's alright." I said as my only complaint was that the room was way to cold for them to just have you wearing this hospital gown.

"Alright lay down and relax." she said as I couldn't wait till I was able to get the over the belly ultrasound rather than having to feel that I was on display with my legs opened.

"It is too early but sometimes we can see the heart beat on the screen." she said as I sat up a bit as I felt Hap move closer as well as we looked at the screen. It seemed the same size as last week but this time the heart beat was visible. I really hope the family curse would skip this time around.

"Well everything looks great." she said as I looked over at Hap as he was starring at the screen I never really thought we were ever going to be in this position.

"Thanks." I said as she stepped out as I got off the bed and got dressed.

"So are we done here?" Hap asked as he handed me my jacket.

"Yeah" I said as I picked up the ultrasound pictures as we walked out of the exam room. "Wow you can't really see anything" I said as I looked at the ultrasound pictures as Hap opened the door as we left the office. "I always find these things to be very weird." I said as we headed over to the elevator as Hap took them away. "Like how can something that small grow into a human." I kept on talking as Hap stared at them as we waited for the elevator.

"Going to go see Gemma?" he asked as I watched the elevator door close.

"Yeah did Clay tell you the room?" I asked as I turned my phone on.

"He should be there." he said as I knew he was right. Now we were away from all this pregnancy stuff to deal with what was going on at this moment.

"Hey baby girl" Clay said as he gave me hug.

"Yeah" I said as he let me go. "Hows mom?" I asked as I eyed the guards that were standing outside her room.

"You should go see her." he said as he looked over to the room.

"Alright." I said as I really did not know what to expect, I knew she was going to be mad that I kept it from him.

"I'm going to go look for Jax" announced Clay. "Jess you two are not in the best of health."

"Don't worry we will try to be civil with each other." I said as he kissed my forehead and walked away.

"I guess your free to go do whatever you need to do." I said to Hap as he put an arm around me as he gave me a kiss.

"Just make sure you call me when you get out." said Hap as he waited for the guards to make sure I was not hiding anything and was able to walk into mom's room.

~A~

As I walked into the room mom turned off the television as I stood by the door.

"Out of all the people I really did not expect you to lie to me."

"Well there was a good reason for it." I said as I walked over to the chair.

"A good reason, my grandson was taken and everyone kept it from me."

"It's what Clay wanted."

"It was your responsibility-"

"No my responsibility was to make sure that everything went right and make sure all the guys were alright and all I ended up doing was take it all out on Hap and treating him like shit. To start with if you wouldn't have gone and done your own shit Abel wouldn't have been taken in the first place and Half sack would still be alive." I said as I knew I went too far. "I'm sorry it's just too much shit is going on right now. I really did not mean anything I said." I felt bad as I wished I could take back what I just said to her.

"No your right." said mom as I shook my head.

"It happened there's nothing we could change about that, all that matters right now is getting Abel back and make sure you don't go to prison. So how will this deal work?" I asked as I stood up and leaned on the bed as she reached out for my hand.

"I was suppose to turn myself in this morning." she said as she raised her hand that was handcuffed to the bed. "It did not go as planned." she said as I looked at her.

"That bitch." I said as I should have known Stahl was going to find a new way to mess with us. "What were you thinking making a deal with that conniving bitch."

"It's still not certain Jess."

"Mom she will be satisfied in taking at least one of us down." I said as I took a deep breath as I tried to calm down nothing good was going to come out of this if I lost it completely. "What the hell are we going to do mom?"

"For the first time I have no idea." she said as she moved to the side as I joined her on the bed.

"Why could you just not wait, Jax had everything planed to take you to get Abel in Vancouver." I said as mom sat up.

"Jess Abel is not in Vancouver." said mom as I closed my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I knew this will just keep happening.

"How do you know?" I asked as I just sat up and got off the bed.

"Last night at the clubhouse I got a call from Maureen Ashby letting me know that they had Abel in Belfast. I already let Clay and Jax know."

"Whose Maureen Ashby?" I asked as I noticed mom's expression when she said her name.

"No one important." she said with more venom in her voice for me to believe the no one important bullshit. "Shit it seems everyone is hiding something."

"What?"

"Kidnapping, secret pregnancy." she said as she looked at me as my hands began to sweat.

"Um"

"I'm not surprised you didn't know that Tara is pregnant." she said as I began to breath again relived she did not find out about mine.

"Well we have never been really that close." I said as I was not really sure if this was the right time for anyone to have a kid.

"Might be some good news after we get Abel back." I said as I sat down.

"Well that's if she keeps it but then again she did a shitty job protecting Abel"

"Mom she was not built like us, she just has to figure out who the hell she wants to be and which side to be on."

"So now all of a sudden you're defending Tara."

"Oh like if you haven't, you were the first one on Team Tara." I said as mom laid back down as I leaned back on the chair. "Do you think we deserve everything were getting?" I asked as I stared at the ceiling.

"Doesn't matter we always find a way to come out stronger." she said as I really wanted to agree with her.

"Excuse me" said the nurse as she stepped into the room. "At this time we would like for the patient to rest if you would be kind enough to retire." she said as I understood.

"Sure." I said as I stood up and walked over to mom. "I love you mom." I said as I leaned in to give her a hug.

"I love you too baby." she said as we both tried to fight back the tears as I walked out of the room.

~A~

After leaving mom's room I rushed to the restroom as I tried to stop myself from starting to cry which I ended up failing. Before leaving the restroom I made sure that you could not make sure that I had been crying. As I made my way over to the waiting room as I was about to call Hap as I bumped into Jax as he was passing by the Chapel.

"Hey you feeling alright?" he asked as he gave me a hug.

"Way better, I was on my way of looking for Hap." I said as I closed my phone.

"Yeah I was heading out. Have you talked to mom?" he asked as we stood by the Chapel doors.

"Yeah just came from her room she told me about the deal and that Abel was not in Vancouver. We just can't seem to catch a break."

"I will take care of it Jess, don't worry." said Jax as he gave me a quick kiss and walked away. They should not even bother in saying don't worry about it because they already know I will.

"Hey I had told you to call me." said Hap as entered the waiting room.

"Yeah I bumped into Jax and forgot." I said as I gave him a quick kiss as Clay and Piney were walking our way as I noticed Juice was behind them.

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked Juice as I looked at his face and then noticed Piney was trying not to laugh.

"Got jumped by Salazar and his men in the Chicken man's van." he said as I felt bad as Piney was chuckling.

"Where's your cut?" Hap asked as he just looked down as Piney hit his back as Juice hissed with pain as I just shook my head.

"They took my patch." he said as I wondered why was he alone dealing with the chicken man.

"Gonna go patch him up." announced Piney as Hap's phone began to ring.

"Gotta go meet Tig." said Hap.

"Jess your with Piney" said Clay as he motioned to Hap that they had to head out.

"Make sure you get something to eat, and try not to do anything crazy." said Hap as I kissed him goodbye.

"Alright just be careful."

"Go do what you need to do, I got her." said Piney to Hap as he put his arm around me as we watched Clay and Hap leave. "Hows your mother?" Piney asked as we waited for Juice.

"She's pissed we kept everything from her, but I guess now that she turned herself in we got more to worry about." I said as Juice was walking our way.

"The club will figure something out soon. We should head back to the clubhouse wait for the guys to get back. You know I have no idea why you need an escort, when Juice is the one being jumped in the chicken man's van." said Piney as Juice just shook his head as we walked outside.

"Exactly." I said even though I knew he was just messing with Juice.

~Happy~

As we got back to the club, I noticed the office door was open, I knew better than to go look for Jess in the clubhouse so I just headed over to the office.

I stood by the door as I watched her work, I was about to get mad since I wanted her resting but I noticed she had at least gotten something to eat.

"Almost done?" I asked as she stopped filing as she looked over at me as I made my way inside the office.

"I don't think I'm ever going to be done here." she said as she smiled at me.

"Then quit."

"Hap I own the place, I don't think the owner can quit besides I never really work I just like to complain." she said as she closed the cabinet and walked over to me.

"Well unless you want me to start complaining about what your eating I want you to eat more real food than half a sandwich."

"I also ate a salad." she added as if that even counted as real food.

"You want anything else?" I asked as I sat on the desk.

"Can we please stay at the house, it would feel ten times much better if I could sleep in my own bed."

"Alright get your shit." I said as she looked up at me as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you." she said as she reached up and gave me a kiss.

"Yeah what do you want Jess?"

"Nothing just letting you know."

"Right." I said as she turned off the lights and locked the office."Your going to go tell Piney you're leaving?"

"Nope he's probably half drunk already to even care." she said as we walked over to the bike.

~A~

As she was inside taking a shower I sat on the steps as I finished up my cigarette as I thought about Jax's plan to get Gemma out of this shit. Right now I agreed with Clay that the right thing to do was to keep Jess in the dark at this moment. Jess would probably be against the whole thing knowing that Atf bitch was going to be involved.

"What are you doing outside?" she asked as I walked into the house as she turned off the kitchen light.

"No sense in smoking inside after you quit." I said as I followed her to the room as I noticed Killer seemed to be following every step she made.

"Are you going to take a shower?" she asked as she laid down on the bed as she reached over for the remote.

"No actually have to get back to the clubhouse." I said as she put the remote down and sat up. "Nothing for you to worry about Jess just some club shit I have to handle with Tig." I said as I heard her sigh. "You want me to drop you off at the clubhouse." I asked as I already knew her answer and I had already called Piney to send someone to keep an eye on the house.

"Nope I'm fine here."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Hap I'm going to be fine my gun is in the night stand and Killer is right next to me." she said as she leaned up to kiss me.

"You better not even think about going anywhere." I said as I kissed her and grabbed the keys and left the room as I passed by the kitchen I grabbed her car keys and headed out as Jax was waiting .

"You sure we can trust this bitch." I asked Jax as I never questioned shit but if it backfired I knew it was going to affect Jess.

"It's not about trust she needs us just as much as we need her." answered Jax as we headed out.

~Jess~

Once I heard Hap and Tig leave I grabbed my phone and dialed Piney's number as there was a chance I would be able to find out what was going on.

"Jess." Piney screamed as he answered the phone.

"Hey Piney are you still at the clubhouse?" I asked as I knew if I asked him straight out what was going on I was not going to get anything it would be better if he told me on his own.

"Yeah do you need anything I can send one of the guys I got Tig and Bobby with Chibs."

"No." I said as I put the television on mute. "Wait Tig's there?" I asked as I got up from the bed and turned on the light as I headed over to the kitchen.

"Yeah he and Bobby are playing pool and Clay is at the hospital with your mother and Jess don't worry about Hap hes with Jax. You had a long day just call it a night." he said as I sat down at the table.

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I hanged up as Killer laid his head on my leg. What the hell were Hap and Jax up to.

I decided to listen to Piney and just call it a night, as I walked over to the front door Killer began to block the door and barked at me.

"Calm down I'm not planning on going anywhere." I said to Killer as he stared at me. I just turned off all the lights and made sure the door was locked as I made my way to the room. There had to be a reason why he had not told me he was heading out with Jax, all I wanted to know was why he felt like he could not trust me.

As I got back in bed I shook my head as I noticed Killer decided to sleep by the door rather than join me on the bed. Shit even my dog thinks he needs to protect me. I turned off the television and just got under the covers and closed my eyes.

~A~

After what seemed like awhile that I had heard every noise in the house, I looked over at the clock and sat up as I panicked a bit as I noticed it was three in the morning and Hap was still not in. I reached for my phone and was half relieved as their were no missed calls. No news was good news but at the same time not exactly.

Once I realized Killer was laying next to me, I calmed down a bit as I knew Hap had to be home for Killer to have left his self assigned post at my door. I tried to leave the bed without disturbing him but as my feet touched the floor he was already out of the room as I just followed him.

"What are you doing up?" Hap asked as he looked away from the tv as I entered the living room.

"Can't seem to stay asleep the house makes way too much noise at night." I said as he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him. "I need you in bed with me." I said as I laid my head on his chest as he turned off the t.v.

"I can do that right now." he said as he carried me to the room. Even though I wanted to know what he was up to I was just going to appreciate the uninterrupted time I had with him.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	30. Like Always

"Morning" I said as I walked into mom's room after dealing with the guards as if there was much I could hide in pancakes and scrambled eggs.

"Morning baby." she said as she sat up as I walked over to her as I placed the food on the small table.

"I know how much hospital food sucks." I said as I was glad they had removed the cuffs from yesterday her from the bed as she reached for her plate.

"Anything is better than that crap." she said as I looked over at the counter as the hospital tray laid there untouched as I grabbed a chair and moved it closer to the bed as I grabbed my plate. "How were you able to get this in here?"  
>"It was approved by Dr. Knowles" I said as I noticed her expression. "Would you cut her some slack, what happened is in the past mom."<p>

"I will soon." she said as I really did not get a good feeling with the way she said it. "So I guess the guys are planning on heading out to Belfast for Abel."

"I guess I have no idea what they are planning."

"So are you not married to a member that tells you everything by now."

"He tells me what I need to know, and before you say anything I don't care about what you think about it." I said as I grabbed the bag and picked up the trash as I fought the urge to throw up.

"I need you to talk with Unser." said mom as I washed my hands.

"Why what's going on?" I asked as I turned off the water and grabbed a towel drying my hands as I turned my attention to her.

"All of a sudden he wants to do right for Charming." she said as I rolled my eyes at that bullshit after all this time he finally wants to do something.

"Oh and he thinks he knows what is right for Charming." I said as I checked the time. I wanted to be there when Hap got out of church. "Well I'll see what I can do I have to get going." I said as I walked over to her.

"Where are you going and why are you way to excited to leave." asked mom as I gave her a quick kiss and grabbed my purse.

"Hap is asking for transfer to Charming." I said as I could not stop smiling for some reason.

"Less worrying." she said as she smiled at me. "Yeah" I answered.

"Be careful." she said as I left the room.

~A~

Once I got arrived at the club I walked inside to find the new prospects with their cuts standing behind the bar staring at the chapel door. "Still not out?" I asked as I sat at the bar.

"No" said Phil. "Do you want anything?"

"Yeah a water would be good." I was a little nervous even though I already knew the guys would let Hap transfer, Kozik on the other hand would not be so lucky thanks to Tig.

The first thing I noticed was Hap's smile as they congratulated him as they stepped out the chapel. I gave him a kiss as he reached me.

"So you're officially Samcro." I said. "It was about time." Piney said as Bobby handed Hap his new patches as Miles began passing out shots.

"Jess" he called out as he offered me one.

"No it's early I got a water thanks." I told Miles as Hap took a shot with Bobby

"It's never too early." said Piney as he handed me the shot as my hand seemed to be shaking.

"Yeah" I said as he looked over at me as I looked to the shot then to him as I saw him reach out for it as he winked at me. But before I was able to say something Kozik and Tig began to fight as Hap moved me over to him as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked over at Clay and it seemed that he was going to let them fight.

"Come on" said Hap as we left the guys as we made our way over to the dorms. "So I know I don't even have to ask." said Hap as I grabbed the sewing kit as he handed me the patches as he took off his cut as I sat down with bed as he handed me his cut and went to the restroom.

As I began removing the old patches I felt something in the pocket that was inside of the cut. I looked over at the restroom door as I took out whatever was in it.

As I unwrapped the cloth that was holding something I froze as I saw the first picture as I began to cry, it was the picture Donna had took of us as Hap held me as we listened to our song at our wedding.

The next one was the ultrasound from yesterday with the one from last week. The last picture he had was the one mom had taken at the club after we had been together for a year.

As I wrapped the cloth back as he had it, I was trying to keep my emotions under control as I knew why it had touched me that he had these with him. Probably because I would not have expected it.

I put them back as I heard the restroom door open and I knew it was to late to hide the fact that I was crying.

"Shit I know you wanted this but really did not expect you to react this way." he said as looked up at him as I tried to hold my tears back as I finished up the .

" I'm just way to emotional right now." I said as he moved his cut to the side and took the needle away from me as he wrapped an arm around me as he kissed me.

"Did you just brush your teeth?" I asked.

"Yeah since you're not.. Shit are you going to cry about that too." he said as I hit his chest as he chuckled as he laid back on the bed as he held on to me.

"Don't you have something to do?" I asked even though I wanted to stay in bed with him but at the same time knew the club had a lot of shit going on.

"The club is getting shit ready to head out to Belfast." he said as I sat up and reached for the needle to finish what I had started.

"I plan on staying here since I have to be here for mom." I said as I stared at his cut as I knew Jax would not be alone since the guys were not even going to allow it. Hap didn't say anything as he got up and walked over to the restroom.

As I finished up my eyes and body seemed to be craving sleep and as I looked over at the pillows I had no problem with giving in.

"Jess I'm heading out, we'll talk about it later" was the last thing heard Hap say as I felt him kiss my forehead as I hugged the pillow and drifted off to sleep.

~A~

After awhile that I seemed to keep hearing something ringing, I realized that I was not dreaming and that it was my phone. I stared at the ceiling as my phone kept ringing, the little amount I had slept really did not help one bit as it seemed I woke up with a headache.

Once I reached over for my phone I noticed it had been mom, as I put it back on the night stand not really in the mood to talk to her and if it was important she would call again. I soon realized I was not going to be able to go back to sleep I decided I needed some air as I fought the urge I had for a cigarette all of a sudden.

As I left the room I noticed that no one was at the clubhouse, but I knew for a fact that Hap would of let me stay here alone so I followed the noise that seemed to be coming from outside.

"Everyone headed out." said Chucky as I closed the door and and sat down at the picnic table as he kept on helping the prospects clean.

"You need anything." Phil asked as he looked over at me.

"No I'm fine." I said as they seemed to have stopped what they were doing as the guys pulled into the parking lot. I tried not to laugh as they all stood around like children waiting to be told what to do and I knew that either the guys were going to ignore them or yell at them because they were wasting time just standing around.

"You eat anything?" Hap asked as he reached me.

"Nope just woke up and needed some air." I said as stood next to me.

"Let's go I have time before Tig and Kozik gets back." he said as I got off the picnic table and followed him.

"Tig and Kozik together, who in the world thought that was a good idea?"

"Clay." he said as he shrugged his shoulders as we walked over to his bike.

I never seemed to be bothered if Hap was quiet for awhile, but this time it did bug me since I knew he had something to tell me and I was getting impatient of the waiting.

"Didn't you have something to tell me? " I asked as I cleaned up the trash as we had finished eating.

"Clay has decided that it would be safe for you to come with us." he said as I stopped what I was doing and looked at him as he kept looking away from me.

"Since when does the club decide for me. Hap I get that you have a say in what I do, but with Clay deciding that stopped along time ago. Besides I told you that I wanted to be here for mom."

"I don't want to hear you bitch about this shit right now Jess."

"Typical bullshit." I said as it always seemed to be like this he says something and I don't agree and then he doesn't want to hear me out on my opinion.

"Let's go" he said as he walked passed me heading over to his bike. If he thought I was going to let this go he was wrong and even I was going to talk with Clay about it.

~A~

Getting back to the clubhouse Hap went straight into the Chapel since when we arrived Kozik and Tig arrived soon after. I for one thought one of them was not going to come back alive but when I saw Tig glaring at Kozik I knew something had happened.

While the guys did their thing I headed over to the kitchen to get something to drink and wash my hands.

"You are worse than Hap with the cleaning." I told Chucky when I walked into the kitchen as he was cleaning once again.

"It's a habit and I have nothing to do." he said as I just turned on the sink as my phone began to ring.

"Hey mom." I said as I tried to multitask a bit.

"Jessica I have been calling you all day." she said as I answered the phone and turned off the water and walked over to the towels.

"Mom you just called me once." I said as I grabbed a towel and dried my hands.

"Do you have any idea what your brother is up too?" she asked as I really knew why I really did not want to talk to her earlier. Always giving me more stress that I did not need or want.

"No but I know there is something going on. Why do you ask and why are you whispering?"

"Jessica he gave me a statement that Stahl provided him with to help me out he is working with this bitch. Jess you have to help me out to talk some sense into him if the club finds out." she said as she whispered into the phone as I seemed to be frozen as I really did not want to believe what she was saying.

"He what...

"I'll call you later." she said as I heard Lowen in the background.

"What the hell is going on?" I said as I stared at the phone as she had hung up. What the hell was Jax thinking involving himself with that bitch.

As I was about to get a water bottle I heard the club door bust open as Sanwa Sheriff department rushed inside as they are about to conduct a raid.

"Shit" I said as I made my way down to the floor as I noticed Unser was front in center in this raid. I guess he was really not going to help us out.

"Get down" they kept saying as the guys made their way out of the Chapel. I just stared at Unser as he seemed to be avoiding the guys. By the way Clay was looking at Unser it was not going to be a good outcome for him.

~A~

Once they raided the clubhouse and found nothing we were allowed to get up. I kept my eyes on Unser as he told Candy something and then he was getting ready to leave.

"So raiding our clubhouse is whats right for Charming?" I asked him as I reached his patrol car. "Because to me this looks like a waste of time and you also know it is."

"It's about keeping this town safe." he said as I crossed my arms.

"Do you really believe were the reason this town is not safe?" I asked as I knew he was still not so sure it what he wanted to do.

"What about the drive by Jess? It's the way it has to be I can't help the club anymore, sorry." he said as he looked away from me.

"Alright I guess just remember something in the end the club is the one that is going to be there for you not your badge, but I'm sure you know that already." I said as I walked away as Clay was making his way over to him.

"You want to stay here or head home?" Hap asked as I turned over to see Clay slam Unser's door as Hap wrapped his arms around me.

"I'd rather go home." I said as Clay made his way back as the guys seemed interested in what had happened between him and Unser.

"Unser is dead to us." was what he said to us as we all looked at him, I seemed to be the only one that was having a problem with it at this moment but I knew better than to say anything.

"Let's go" said Hap as he lead the way over to his bike.

Closing my eyes as I held on to Hap as we made our way home, I really did not know how I was going to talk to Jax about working with Stahl. All I knew was that I did not want Hap to have nothing to do with it.

~A~

Once we arrived at the house I knew I had to talk to Hap about it even though for once I really did not want to involve myself in all this. While I thought about how to bring it up I fed Killer and made sure his water bowl was full I made my way over to the living room. Well here goes nothing.

"Were you going to tell me?" I asked as I took off my sweater and placed it on the sofa as he sat down on the recliner and looked at me.

"What are you talking about Jess?"

"The other day you told me you had something to do with Tig but I know that you went with Jax. I need you to tell me that it doesn't involve Stahl."

"It doesn't involve you leave it at that Jess." he said and turned on the tv.

"Hap I know that you and Jax know better than to involve yourselves with this bitch." I said as I really did not know why they wanted to risk working with her.

"Yeah and you know better than to think you can bring up this shit when you know it's club business Jessica."

"I'll stop bringing it up when you realize that if it goes wrong it won't just affect the club, so as I see it it is more than club business." I said as I just left the living room and headed over to the room.

As I had spent almost an hour trying to go to sleep, Hap had finally decided to come to bed. I laid still as I hoped he thought that I was already sleeping as for tonight I did not want to talk about it anymore.

"It was my choice no one else." he said as he moved me closer to him.

"You lying to me doesn't really help matters." I said as I kept my back to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Jess for once just stop worrying." he said as he held on to me as he put his hand on my stomach.

"Alright but if this goes wrong Hap just remember that I need you more than this club. I know the club comes first but just for once don't put us second." I said as I placed my hand over his.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	31. An Unexpected Arrival

After I explained to Chucky what I needed him to work on in the office I made my way over to the clubhouse. As I was passing by the picnic table Tara stormed out of the clubhouse, as she saw me she avoided me as she walked faster to her car.

"Hey everything alright?" I asked as she turned around to face me as I noticed she was almost in tears and now that I think about it I was never good with dealing with other people's emotions especially my own. Dammit Jax what the hell did you do this time and since when am I concerned about all this?

"I'm just done Jessica." she said and went over to her car as I noticed Hap walking towards me as I was about to go look for Jax.

"Everything alright?" Hap asked as we both turned as Lyla slapped Ima.

"I have no idea, and by the looks of it I really don't want to know." I said as I knew it had to be a reason because Jax could not seem to keep it in his pants in Charming.

"You're going to go see Gemma?"

"Yeah Unser is going to be in charge of transporting her today." I said as I looked at him as he wrapped his arms around my waist as I laid my head on his chest.

"Were going to figure this out soon."

"Soon is not coming soon enough." I said as Clay and Tig arrived as I noticed right away that something was bothering Clay. "What's up with Clay?" I asked as Tig called Hap over as he went into the clubhouse.

"It seems we can't get a hold of Sambel nor Jimmy, have to go we're going to have church." he said as he kissed my forehead and walked away.

"I'm going to head out to go see mom." I said as he turned around and walked back over to me as I took out my car keys.

"Why don't you wait till Piney is done" he said as he took away my keys.

"Well I can take one of the new prospect that guy Shepard or whatever seems to be doing nothing." I suggested as I tried to get my keys back.

"That asshole doesn't even look like he has it in him to get patched in." he said as he glared over at him. "Let alone I don't trust that asshole to protect you."

"Hap I know the club seems to take outcasts but they seem way over the top and you can clearly see that they are not made for this or ever will be and Half sack set a bar way to high that no one will be able to top." I said as he seemed to have agreed.

"Go with Miles and Phil" he said.

"I need two prospects?" I asked as I looked over at them as they were doing whatever Kozik seemed to be demanding from them.

"Either take them both or wait you know what Kozik is not doing anything right now." he said as he walked away with my keys.

"Fine they can go." I said as I was glad Hap had let me take my car this morning rather than having to ride with those two idiots.

"Hey you know what Kozik can take you." he said as he grabbed my car keys and walked over to Kozik.

"Hap I rather take those three." I called out as Kozik just laughed it off as Hap gave him my keys and went into the clubhouse as Kozik walked my way.

"You don't seem to be happy to be stuck with me." he said as he put an arm around me as I walked over to the car.

"Shouldn't you be on your way over to Tacoma." I said as I moved his arm away from me as I walked over to the driver's side.

"Your father said it was best I stayed that they would be voting again and you know better that I'm not riding bitch." he said.

"Yeah and we both know Tig is never going to let you patch into Samcro." I said as I tried to get my keys back.

"I heard and also observed that you and Tig don't seem as close as before and besides when you were in Tacoma you were on my side."

"I'm on no ones side give me my keys."

"You know what I'll let you drive if you tell me what happened between you and Tiggy." he said as I knew he was probably going to try to use it against him.

"Okay" I said as I smiled at him as I grabbed my keys and got in my car as he rushed to the passenger seat as he knew I was capable of leaving his ass there.

"So what the hell went down with you two?" he asked as I pulled out of the clubhouse.

" None Of Your Business." I said as I turned on the radio and tried to tune him out.

"Hey this is not part of the deal." he said as he turned off the radio.

"I'm already driving." I said as I just shrugged and turned the radio back on.

"So what Hap asked you to stay away from him." he said as he turned the radio off and looked over at me as I did not acknowledge him. "You know since he and everybody else seem to believe that nothing ever happened between you two."

"Kozik shut up."

"Oh common Jess."

"Kozik I might be your responsibility at this moment but whether I fucked Tig or not is none of your business" I said as I looked for a parking as I arrived at the hospital.

Thankfully he had shut up as I parked and left the car, as he made his way over to my side as he tried to take away my keys.

"Give them to me Jess" he said as he stood in front of me as I just put them in my bra as I tried to walk past him.

"You think you're going to stop me from getting them?" he asked as he stared at my chest.

"If you go near my tits Hap will cut off your hands" I said as I walked past him and into the hospital and went straight to the elevators. I was glad he got a call as we made our way over to mom's floor.

"So will Gemma be happy to see me?" he asked as he ended his call as the elevator doors opened.

"Why don't you find yourself a nurse to fuck in a supply closet." I said as we exited the elevator.

"Nah rather get a blow job in the elevator and get caught by my brothers and video taped by the nurses no wait that was you and Hap in Tacoma" he said as I hit his chest as people looked our way.

"Asshole"

"Call me when you get out" he called as he went on his way as the guards made sure I passed their little groping test.

~A~

"What did Jax do to Tara this time?" mom asked as I walked into the room.

"Well hello nice to see you too." I said as I closed the door as mom began to pace the room she really needed to get out of here soon as she seemed way to worked up on this.

"Well?" she asked as she stopped and looked over at me.

"I don't know but it seems your son can't keep it in his pants when it comes to Miss. Double Penetration porn star whore."

"You know with Luann gone you would think these porn bitches would just get lost." she said as she sat back and calmed down a bit.

"Not likely since your son involved the club in the porn business and became Larry Flint for awhile."

"Have you talked to Jax about this shit with Stahl yet?"

"They seem to have other things to worry about now." I said as I hoped that she would just let them deal with that themselves even though I knew Stahl was a desperate bitch willing to fuck over anybody to come out on top.

"What is going on?"

"Clay is having a hard time getting thru to Sambel and Jimmy seems to have gone MIA also."

"Shit this is the last thing Clay needs right now."

"Yeah I know and that's is what they are dealing with right now. Have you been able to reach that Maureen lady?"

"No" she said as she stood up again. "Since when are you so damn calm?"

"I was asked to stay calm and that is what I'm doing, and well also letting the club deal with their own damn problems as should you."

"Jessica sometimes I wonder if your really my child?"

"Please mother I'm not that lucky."

"Jess you are not helping and Unser is still on his stupid let's save Charming crusade and still on the club's bad side with all the shit that happened at the clubhouse yesterday."

"Clay announced he was dead to the club yesterday he is going to need to do something big to get back on the club's side." I said as she knew I was right.

"Yeah well maybe he can start with getting me out of here and I don't mean it by him handling my transport to county jail." she said as I knew that she was also one that should have someone from the club with her at all times so she doesn't fuck shit up.

"Mom I did not mean that, which will only fuck things up way worse so even though I know you are unable to listen please don't do anything." I said as I hoped she got the point and would not win her way out of this room.

"Yeah." she said as I just got up.

"I'm just going to go because I know that if I'm not at the clubhouse before Hap gets out of church I will probably never here the end of it."

"Alright be careful and make sure you talk to Jax." she said as I just walked out.

~A~

Arriving back at the clubhouse I noticed that the guys had left as I looked over to the garage as Piney had all the prospects cleaning it out. As Kozik made his way over to the clubhouse I walked over to Piney.

"How's Gemma?" he asked as I sat down on the table he was leaning on.

"She might be up to something." I said as he shook his head. "Where are the guys?"

"Dealing with some things. So when are you going to let the club know you're pregnant because you and everyone knows that a secret baby is always a bad idea." he said as I looked over at him and then back at the prospects.

"It's not a secret baby you know, Hap knows and well Tara knows." I said as I got off the table and walked over to the office.

After awhile I heard no noise coming from the garage, I stood up and checked to see if Piney was still there and I was met with an empty garage. I decided to just close up and wait for the guys to get back to see what was going to happen next.

"Jess" called out Chucky as I was locking up the

"Yeah" I called up as he reached the office as my phone began to ring. I noticed it was Clay as I was about to answer someone entered the office.

"She's looking for Jax." he said as my phone kept ringing as Chucky left the office.

"I need to talk to Jackson Teller." she said as I looked over at the clubhouse when I noticed a green van parked in the middle of the club's parking lot. "Are you John Teller's daughter?" she asked as I noticed Chucky seemed way to interested as he kept staring into the office and then over to the van.

"Yes I'm Jessica Teller. Who are you and why do you need to talk to my brother?" I asked as I tuned out Chucky as he was waving his damn arms as my phone kept ringing.

"I'm Maureen Ashby and it's important that I see Jax." she said as I immediately answered the phone.

"Clay you need to get back to the clubhouse."

(Thanks for Reading and Reviewing)


	32. There Will be Consequences

What was taking them so long as I paced around the clubhouse as I kept my eyes on Maureen as she sat at a table. She had refused to say anything until Jax got here and Piney and Kozik held me back as I wanted to get Abel's whereabouts out of her.

"Jess sit down." yelled Piney for the tenth time today as I just glared over at him as I wanted to know how they could be so damn calm.

"Alright." I said as I did as he said and sat back down on the pool table as I kept my eyes on Maureen and Kozik walked over to me and handed me a bottle water.

"Jessica stop worrying." he said as I looked over at him. "Remember what Hap told you." he added as I just wanted to hit him for some reason.

"Kozik just leave me alone."

"I'm just doing what Hap asked me." he stated as I just rolled my eyes and took a sip from the water bottle.

"Kozik you're Tacoma's Sgt At Arms, wont you rather be over there rather than doing Hap's bitch work."

"You really think Hap would have a prospect taking care of you when he has a brother he trusts." he said as he had a point but I did not see a reason why I needed to be taken care of.

"It would be better if he would just trust me rather than having you the one he trusts."

"Trust me Jess you're still alive he trusts you."

"I meant the trust that I'm able to take care of myself."

"Jess he is just protective of you and well now with the kid on the way." he said as he looked at my stomach.

"He told you." I said as I looked over at him in disbelief, I really could not believe Hap had told him when he knew that I hadn't told anyone yet.

"Yeah. Why what's the problem? Wait does Tig not know, wait till he finds out that I knew before him." he said as he looked at me and began to laugh.

"No one knows." I said as I wanted to get after Hap for opening his damn mouth.

"I feel honored to know before Tig and everyone." he said as he placed his hand on his heart as I shoved him away from me.

"Trust me you're not."

"So what do you think she knows?" he asked as he looked over at Maureen as he once again moved next to me.

"What's going on?" asked Clay as he walked into the clubhouse as I glared over at Hap as Piney stood up.

"McGee's old lady showed up." announced Piney as they all turned their attention to Maureen except Hap who looked over at me.

"Where's Jax?" Maureen asked as she stood up just in time as Jax walked in.

"Why are you here?" Clay asked her as he moved forward as Maureen moved away from him as I got off the pool table.

"Alright he's here can you talk now." I said as Kozik grabbed my arm and held me back before I walked over to Jax.

"Jess sit down." Piney called out as Kozik let my arm go as Hap moved towards me.

"Fine" I said as I listened to him and sat back down as Hap came and stood next to me.

"Can someone explain what is going on here?" Clay asked as he looked over at Maureen.

"Jax is there a chance we could talk in private?" Maureen asked as she moved towards Jax as Hap put his hand on my knee as I wanted to stand up again.

"No" Clay and I answered for Jax at the same time.

"Someone fucking explain right now." Clay demanded as he looked over at me.

"She's here to talk to Jax, and I think it's about Abel." I said as Piney glared over at me.

"Where's my son?" Jax asked as he moved in front of Clay.

"It would be better if we talked in private." she said as Jax looked around the clubhouse.

"Everyone in this room can hear what you have to say." said Jax as he stood in front of her.

"Prospects get out." stated Clay as he kept his eyes on Maureen as the guys left the clubhouse followed by Chucky.

"Sambel is under Jimmy's control and it has gotten worse since your Abel appeared." she said as she looked around the clubhouse. "Our safety was in jeopardy the minute Jimmy found out that I got in contact with Gemma letting her know Abel was with me."

"So who has Abel?" I asked as I really did not care about their safety at this moment.

"Padraic is with Fiona and Kerianne here in Charming." she said as she looked over at Chibs as she ignored my question.

"What are you doing here?" Clay asked as I just wanted to know where Abel was.

"McGee and Liam are the ones working with Jimmy the most and have put me and my daughter Trinity in danger after Father Ashby had decided to place Abel in an orphanage." she said as she looked at Jax as he began to pace in front of her.

"That son of a bitch." I said as I got off the pool table as Hap grabbed my arm holding me back.

"Watch your mouth you are talking about a man of god." she said as she turned her attention to me.

"Do you really think I care what kind of man he is, all I want to know is where is Abel?" I asked as I leaned on the pool table as Jax was not doing anything to get the information out of her.

"At this moment I'm not able to say till I'm sure.."  
>"I'm going to kill her." I said as Hap grabbed my arm as he dragged me out of the clubhouse.<p>

"Hap let me go." I said as I tried to get out of his grip as we made our way over to the office as he forced me to sit down on the chair.

"Don't you dare to move from here Jess." Hap said as he let go of my arm as he walked back to the clubhouse.

"You have got to be kidding me." I said as I slammed my head on the desk as I wanted to go back to the clubhouse but knew better.

"So anything about the baby?" Chucky asked as I shook my head no.  
>"I don't think he is here." said Miles as I did not agree with him.<p>

"I disagree with you." said Chucky as he moved closer to me. "There is baby stuff in the van." whispered Chucky as I looked up at him as Phil nodded as I stood up and walked over to the van as they followed.

"Hey Hap said not to leave the office Jess." called out Miles as he followed me.

"See" said Chucky as he showed me the bag as my phone began to ring as I noticed it was mom. Really at this moment.

"Where are you?" she asked as Chucky closed the van.

"At the club we haven't been able to head out something came up." I said as I leaned on the van as I should have made my way over to the clubhouse.

"Yeah I need you to pick me up."

"Mom you can't do this to me. You need to stay put Jax is working on getting you a deal, you can't fuck it up."

"I just escaped the damn hospital get your ass over here." she yelled as I really could not deal with this. "Now Jess." she yelled as she hung up.

"Shit" I said as I just went and grabbed my keys and headed over to my car not thinking about Happy at the moment.

"Jessica Hap said not move from the office." said Miles as he followed me to the car.

"Either get in or I'm going by myself." I said as he got in the passenger side as I took off over to the hospital.

~A~

Arriving at the hospital I went to the back exit as she had told me as she was hiding by one of the damn cars, as she spotted me she headed over to my car.

"What were you thinking?" I asked her as she got in the car and I sped away from the hospital.

"I have to go with you guys to Belfast." she said as I looked at her as she had lost her damn mind.

"Maureen showed up at the clubhouse." I said as I kept my eyes on the road as I had no idea where to go at this moment.

"Head over there now." she demanded as I stopped the car and turned around to face her.

"Are you crazy your a wanted person. Can you not see or think the shit you will bring on the club if they find you there or me for that matter." I yelled at her as it seemed she was clearly not thinking about any damn consequences.

"What is she doing here?" she asked as I wanted to hit her as she had just ignored what I had just told her.

"I have no idea something about the Sambel Charter."

"Where's Abel?" mom asked as she looked over at Miles.

Do you think I would be here with you if I knew?"

"Just take me to the cabin." she said as I had no other choice. All I knew was that Hap was going to kill me.

~A~

"So what do we think?" Clay asked mainly at Jax but he looked around the room.

"Jess has a right to kill her." said Tig as they all looked at him. "What she is using Abel as a damn pawn."

"Maureen came to us and protected the club, she risked her life for Abel protected Chib's family." said Jax as he looked over at Tig who just shook his head and looked over at Clay.

"Jimmy is the one that wants us not Maureen." stated Opie as Tig just got more pissed.

"We clean up the Sambel charter they make their way back that's the last we hear of them." said Bobby as he also tried to convince Tig who still not seem to agree.

"Jesus Tig if we find out she is stringing us along you and Hap will take care of her." said Clay as the guys all seemed to agree except Jax as someone knocked and then opened the doors.

"Clay you're not going to like this." Piney said as we all stood up as he closed the doors. "Gemma escaped the hospital, and Unser is here to arrest Jess and Kozik as they were the last persons to leave the room." he said as the guys made their way out of the clubhouse.

"Shit they picked them up yet?" Tig asked as he looked over at the patrol cars.

"No Kozik took off when he noticed Jess was not here." announced Piney as the guys looked over at him.

"What?" Hap asked as Unser walked over to the guys.

"Clay why do I have a feeling Jess and Gemma are together." said Unser as Clay looked over at Hap who was probably thinking of ways he was going to kill Jess.

"No Kozik and Jess are actually on the way to Tacoma on personal matters." said Clay as he looked away not facing him.

"You actually think I'm going to believe that?" Unser asked as he stood in front of Clay.

"Believe what you want and all you're going to do is waste your time looking for them here." said Clay as he sat at the picnic table as Unser just shook his head and walked into the clubhouse.

"Get Kozik on the phone let him know what the hell is going on." Clay demanded as Tig got to it.

~K~

Arriving at the cabin I was glad to see Jess's car as I had looked every where and had panicked when Tig called and let me know that we had to lay low since they wanted to arrest us under the suspicion that we helped Gemma escape.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked as I walked into the cabin.

"Jessica Hap told you not to move." I said as I slammed the door shut and locked it as I noticed Miles was sitting on the couch as Jess and Gemma were at the table. "What the hell were you thinking?" I asked as by helping out Gemma things just got worse for the club.

"Kozik what was I supposed to do leave her there." she said as she stood up.

"No Gemma should have stayed in the hospital and you should have not moved from that office." I yelled at her.

"Don't you think it's a little late for that." said Gemma. Hap was right when it came to Gem, Jess loses her damn mind and does everything she says.

"Clay wants us out of Charming." I told Jess as I knew she was going to disagree.

"I'm not leaving here till I have Abel in my arms." she said as she sat at the table as Gemma just stared at her coffee.

"I don't think you have a choice Jess were wanted for supposedly helping Gemma escape."

"What they didn't even see me. What proof do they have?" she asked as she looked over at Gemma.

"Yeah but we were her last visitors." I stated as I sat on the couch.

"Oh shit Hap is going to kill me."

"Wait first things first what is Maureen Ashby doing here?" Gemma asked as Jess kept mumbling to herself that she should have stayed in the office.

"She showed up at the club apparently she needs some protection."

"Why would she need protection and where is my grandson?" Gemma asked as I knew better than to keep her out of this in a time like this.

"McGee and Liam turned their back on the club they are working with Jimmy and according to Maureen there on there way to Charming with him." I said as Jess's phone began to ring.

"I can't answer it." said Jess as she threw it over at me as I noticed it was Hap. "Kozik don't answer it, he probably wants to kill me." she said as walked over to me as she grabbed the phone and let the call go unanswered.

"Don't worry Jess with the baby and all he will probably keep his anger under control."

"What? Jessica Teller are you pregnant?" asked Gemma as Jessica glared over at me.

"Kozik you and your big mouth." said Jess as she hit my shoulder as Gemma just stared at her.

"Jessica not only did you keep the kidnapping from me and I find out you're pregnant from Kozik. I really did not expect this from you."

"Mom what did you expect when did you wanted me to tell you between Half sack dying or the kidnapping or maybe at the drive by. Or you know what I should have told you after you almost had a heart attack so fucking forgive me that I did not find the right moment to tell you." said Jess as she walked away from the table and headed over to the couch and sat down as Gemma was going to walk over to her as I blocked her way.

"Gem give her a break she has been dealing with all that shit by herself and right know she just risked her safety to help you out." I said as we heard someone arrive outside.

"It's Piney" announced Miles as he looked over at us as I nodded and walked over to the door.

"Abel's here" I announced as I watched Maureen walking up the steps with him as Gemma walked passed me as she went straight to him as Hap arrived. "Hap's here." I told Jess as she just closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch.

Hap didn't even say anything as he walked in and grabbed Jess by the arm as he lead Jess to one of the rooms. Everyone noticed that there was something going on between them as Maureen and Piney looked over at the direction where Hap had took Jess as Gemma just sat down with Abel as if nothing was going on.

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)


	33. First Stone Turned

Happy paced the room like a caged animal as I just sat on the bed and kept my eyes on him. I knew he hadn't said or done anything since he wanted to control his anger as always, but I just really needed to explain my actions.

"Hap." I said as he just stopped and glared over at me.

"Don't even fucking talk right now Jessica."

"Let me..."

"Jessica." he yelled as I just closed my eyes and stopped talking as he interrupted me.

"Alright you can yell at me all you want but first I'm going to explain, I did what I wanted to do there was no way I was just going to let my mother get caught outside of the hospital."

"That's the thing with you Jess, you never know when to stop and you never fucking listen to me, if I tell you not to move you don't fucking move." he yelled as he kicked one of the drawers making me jump a bit.

"I know Hap I fucked up and I should have listened to you but when it comes to my family..."

"Fucking shit Jess." he said as he grabbed me by the arms forcing me to stand up in front of him. I placed my hands on his cut as I tried to push him away. "It's always the same thing and I'm not doing this shit anymore every time Gemma fucks up you're there."

"Hap it's what we do we protect each other, shit Hap you risk yourself everyday for this club."

"Yeah and you asked me to put our family first, and when I say our family it's us not Gemma and everyone outside."

"Hap you know Gemma is family and so is your mother, Abel and Jax, Clay they go before the club and I would do anything to protect them." I said as he finally let go of my arms and walked away from me.

"Jessica after all this is done it's either us in Tacoma or..."

"Don't make me choose Hap." I said as I interrupted him this time.

"You just made your choice Jess."

~Gemma~

"How far along is she?" I asked Kozik as everyone was silent as Hap and Jess could still be heard fighting in the other room.

"I think Hap said two months." he answered as I kept my eyes on Abel as he had fallen asleep.

"Jess told me that Hap didn't even want kids." I stated as I looked over at him.

"Yeah that's a known fact." he said as he leaned back.

"I feel like the only one that's going to get hurt is Jess." I said as Hap just walked out of the room slamming the cabin door on his way out. Everyone looked at each other as Kozik stood up and walked outside as we heard an engine turn on.

I stood up and headed over to the room as I heard Hap take off as I walked into the room and spotted Jess sitting on the bed just staring at something on the floor.

"Well you both know how to destroy shit." I said as I closed the door and walked over to the bed.

"Mom please just stop." said Jess as I laid Abel down on the bed and sat next to her.

"Just tell me something Jess not only did you keep Abel's kidnapping from me but you're two months pregnant and you couldn't tell me since the time was not right. Since when have you kept this type of things from me?"

"Alright yes I kept the Abel thing from you and that was because Clay ordered it so stop with that bullshit and deal with him. It's my life and if I never wanted to tell you about my baby it's my decision no one else. I didn't tell because the time wasn't right as always."

"When is the time right Jess? We both know Hap doesn't even want kids. How many time has he told you?"

"Well I do, so that's enough for me." she said as Abel woke up. "There are more important things to worry about than all the shit that I did not tell you." she said as she picked him up and headed out of the room.

"As time goes by I don't even know how to deal with my own children." I said to myself as I looked at the floor and noticed the thing Jess had been staring at. "Shit" I said as I picked up Jess wedding ring from the floor. Now what.

~A~

Jess was sitting on the recliner with Abel in her arms as she seemed to have fallen asleep as I kept my eyes on her. She still had not said anything of what happened with her and Hap. Not that I expected as she always seemed to keep everything to herself when it involved those two.

"Is this what John would have wanted for her?" Maureen asked as she looked over at Jess.

"Does it matter he's dead." I said as Maureen just stared at me.

"How could you be so cold Gemma, he was you're husband."

"Yeah and what were you when you were fucking him, because he was my husband at the time remember."

"Everyone makes mistakes when they are young." added Maureen as if that would make things better.

"You were young he had a family that needed him in Charming."

"He also had a family in Belfast." she said as I restrained myself from cutting this bitch's throat.

"He had a kid not a family." I stated as I got up and headed over to the kitchen as she followed me. At first I did not want to believe that John had a kid but when I saw Trinity I knew right away. Now all I have to do is keep this from Jax and Jessica.

~Jess~

"So John knew about Trinity?" I heard mom ask as I really could not believe what I was hearing. So not only did my father had an affair with that Irish bitch but he had a kid with her. He had another kid in Belfast, shit does that mean me and Jax have a sister. No there was no way I was going to accept a sister no matter who her father was.

"Yes." answered Maureen as Abel began to move in my arms as I hoped he did not woke up yet since I wanted to hear more.

"It seems that no matter how deep I bury this shit, someone always digs it up." added mom as Abel started crying and they stopped talking.

As I sat up as Maureen walked to one of the rooms they were planning on staying. I got up and headed over to the kitchen as mom sat at the table.

"Well I guess that's why they call you the queen of secrets." I said as I looked at her as she avoided looking at me. "Here you are bitching at me because I kept the kidnapping from you and it seems you kept something from me and Jax. I just risked everything for you, and for what a damn love child."

"Alright so now I see that you heard." she said as she stood up.

"Did you know?" I asked as she got a bottle ready.

"I found out about Maureen only when I found a love letter he wrote to her like he once did for me." she said as I sat down. "She was nineteen a new start for him, and when we needed him here he was over there making his own family." she said as she brushed her tears away.

"I'm sorry mom." I said as I tried to keep my tears at bay.

"No baby I'm sorry you found out this way." she said as she walked my way and handed over the bottle as she kissed my head.

"Mom." called out Jax as he walked into the cabin. "What were you thinking?" he asked as mom walked over to where he was standing.

"I needed to make sure that my grandson was safe, it's not like if the damn prison sentence is going somewhere."

"You made a deal."  
>"Yeah it's going to be there too." she said as Clay walked in as Jax walked over to me and picked up Abel and sat down.<p>

I sat down next to him as Fiona and Chibs walked in followed by their daughter who kept her eyes down as she stuck to Fiona's side.

"Have you met Trinity?" Jax asked as he handed Abel back.

"What?" I asked as he stood up as Maureen left her room followed by who I guess was Trinity and by what I was observing Jax was a little too interested in her.

"Trinity this is my sister Jessica." Jax introduced me to her as I wanted no part in meeting her and I saw no way out of this.

"Trinity Ashby." she introduced herself.

"I think I'm going to throw up." I said as I handed Abel over to Jax as I hurried over to the restroom.

"Shit" I said as I closed the restroom door and sat on the floor.

"Jessica." Hap called out as he knocked and walked in even though I just wanted time for myself.

"Not now can you just leave me alone please." I said as he stood there as I started to cry as I heard the door close.

"Common." he said as I looked up at him as I had thought he had left as he picked me up from the floor and set me on top of the sink.

"What would you choose if I asked you to choose between me and the club?"

"Jess we don't have time for this." he said as he looked at me.

"You know what you already said you were done I guess I am too." I said as I pushed him away as I got off the sink and walked out of the restroom.

As I walked down the hall I noticed that Fiona was talking with Jax and Clay, I was making my way over there and before they noticed me Hap grabbed my arm and lead the way over to the room.

"Hap what the hell." I said as he pushed me into the room and locked the door as he wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me.

"I'm never going to be done with you Jess." he said as he picked me up.

"You know I will go to Tacoma with you." I said as he carried me over to the bed. There was no way was going to let Hap go.

~Gemma~

Hap and Jess had stayed in the room all day, after Jess had rushed off I was worried but at least they were not fighting this time. All I wanted to know was why Jess had taken her ring off earlier. I had to find out tomorrow before she left with Abel to wherever Clay wanted them to go.

"Hey." I said as I stepped out of the cabin and sat down next to Clay on the steps. "Sorry about earlier I just needed to make sure my family was alright." I added as I leaned on him as he laughed.

"Gem I really did not expect you to wait for them to transfer you especially with you not knowing where Abel was and you had your partner in crime waiting for your call."

"Yeah well now thanks for me calling Jess to help me out I caused Jess and Hap some problems."

"When are they not having problems, lately they have been fighting." he stated.

"I could just imagine especially with the changes they are going to be dealing with."

"What changes Hap just transferred and well nothing happening in the next few days will change anything between them." he said as I sat up.

"Jessica is two months pregnant Clay."

"What, shit well I guess it's good I'm sending Jess to Tacoma with Kozik and Abel tomorrow." said Clay as he stood up. "The farther away from Charming the safer they are."

"Why Tacoma? Won't they be safe in another charter since half of Tacoma is headed this way." I suggested as I knew Jess had to stay farther away from Tacoma as there was no way I was going to lose her again nor my new grandchild.

"Don't worry grandma it's only temporary."


	34. Plans Never Go As Planned

Things had to be changed in Charming and Unser knew that, but he knew better than to involve himself with the devil again even though he may have taken a different form this time around.

Jacob Hale was not what Charming needed as it was why Unser did not accept his offer nor offered her backing for Charming Mayor even though it meant the dissolution of Charming Pd.

Unser was at his desk when he heard an engine turn off and he knew right away who it was even though he did not expect him. Being there for the club was a way to back Gemma as he had more loyalty to her and Jessica as he knew that their word was more loyal than Clay.

"We need to talk." announced Clay as he walked into the office without knocking.

"Now you want to talk. Well are you here to turn in Gemma, or Jessica and Kozik?"

"Enough of that bullshit, we both know that we need each other as it always has been."

"Now what do you need Clay?" he asked as it was always about a favor.

"Jax is working a deal with Stahl to clear Gemma's charges." he answered as Unser just shook his head as he knew this was a bad idea.

"That's not going to work out and we both know it." said Unser.

"Yeah we're going to take care of that, and besides getting rid of Stahl is what's better for Charming and then we can put all this shit behind us."

"Is that so, Atf has eyes on the Sons."

"Yeah and we have someone in the inside we just have to make sure every end is covered. Gemma wants you to come by at the cabin in the morning she's hosting a breakfast." added Clay as he knew Unser was going to help out.

"The cabin huh."

"Like if you didn't know, we figured it out when you didn't even try and raid our cabin." stated Clay as he stood up and walked to the door.

"A Hector Salazar is claiming that one of the sons took care of his buddy at the hospital the other day."

"I don't have time for that asshole." said Clay and walked out.

~A~

I ended up staring at the ceiling as I woke up and realized that Hap was not in bed with me, I decided to get up from the bed and get some air.

As I made my way out of the room and noticed that everyone was asleep as all the lights were off as I looked outside I noticed that mom was sitting on the steps. I zipped up the sweater as I left the cabin and joined her just in time as she put out the cigarette as I sat down next to her.

"What are you doing up?" she asked as she put an arm around me as I leaned on her.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Abel just went back to sleep." she said as I just nodded my head and remembered about something well more like someone.

"Where's Tara?" I asked as I knew she ended up helping her get out of the hospital.

"Last time I saw her she was at the hospital, I'm sure she's fine." she said as if it were nothing.

"You could have destroyed her career."

"Is there a reason why this was on the floor?" she asked as she took out my ring and handed it over to me changing the subject.

"No." I said putting it back on as she just stared at me.

"Is the baby the reason you guys fought?" she asked as I just shook my head no.

"No it was all because of me helping you out and putting myself at risk."

"Jess is there a reason why you haven't told Clay or Jax you were pregnant?"

"I just wanted everything to settle down first mom."

"Well you can wait all you want but those months will fly by fast."

"Yeah I know it actually feels like nothing around here will ever settle down, shit we just got Abel back but it brought the club more problems with Jimmy and Belfast and don't get me started on you and Jax with Stahl's deal."

"Jessica what you need to do is stop worrying about all the problems." mom stated as if it were that easy.

"People should stop saying that to me when they know I'm unable to stop."

"You should try to sleep but hey if you can't and since you're up you should help me out with breakfast." she suggested as I got up right away as I wanted no part in this. "Yep go and rest baby." mom said as I agreed with her and walked back inside.

~A~

As I walked out of the restroom and was about to head over to the room I heard the cabin door open, as I knew it was mom so I just kept walking.

"Hey." called out Hap as I turned to him as I stood in front of the door.

"I thought you were mom." I said as we walked into the room as he locked the door as I took off the sweater and got back in bed.

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep, was with mom outside for a little while." I said as he turned off the lights. "Where were you?" I asked as he placed his guns and knife on the nightstand on his side.

"Went with Jax to check some things out go back to sleep." he said as he laid down as I moved over to him as he put an arm around me as he stared at the ceiling.

"Hap."

"Hmm."

I looked up to face him as he kept staring at the ceiling. "Is everything alright?" I asked as I got closer to him placing my hand on his chest.

"Yeah just go to sleep Jess." he said as he ran his hand thru my hair as I laid my head on his shoulder. "Clay wants you and Abel to head out over to Tacoma today."

"Are you alright with that?" I asked as I looked up at him to see his expression.

"Not to sure that I want you in a charter with half the patch members will be here in Charming." he stated.

"Hap it's just going to be me and Abel I don't think we need a whole charter."

"Yeah and Chibs family with...

"Oh please don't say that Maureen bitch." I said as at this point I was not very fond of her.

"What the hell Jess. Now what is your problem with her she brought Abel back."

"She used Abel as a pawn for her safety and you know what I don't give a shit." I said as I tried to get up but he stopped me right away forcing me to lay back down as he moved on top of me.

"What's your problem with her?" he asked as he looked down at me.

"Hap I don't have a problem with her just go to sleep." I said as he just stared at me.

"Right I know you're lying Jess."

"Hap can we just let it go." I said as I gave him a quick kiss on the lips as I placed my arms around his shoulders.

"If you think I'm just going to let that shit go you're wrong."

"Right." I said as I moved my legs around his waist as he grabbed my hands and held them above me as he raised the shirt I was wearing and let go of my arms as he helped me take it off.

"Still no changes." he said as he place his hands on my waist and looked at my stomach.

"I think that's a good thing." I said as he looked up at me and then back at my stomach. I did feel a bit bloated but nothing major.

"Yeah for now." he said as he placed a kiss on my stomach as I smiled down at him.

"Hap do you really want this?"

"Why are you asking me this Jess?" he asked as he looked up at me as I knew that he had no other choice but to just go with it even though I knew mom was right and he never wanted kids.

"I'm just asking that's all." I answered as he just nodded his head as he let go of my waist and moved his hands under my thighs and placed them on my ass as he moved up to face me.

"I'm not going to change my mind about this Jess." he said placing a kiss on my lips as I nodded.

"Hap I just keep thinking that were not ready for this."

"It's a little to late for that and besides I told you in the beginning I'm not letting your ass go so just let it go and go to sleep."

"Alright can I just get my shirt back." I said as I tried to reach it but he did not move off me.

"No." he said as I tried to once again reach for the damn shirt.

"Fine." I said as I turned my back on him as he didn't even mind as he laid his head on my back and moved his arms around me as I just closed my eyes and went to sleep.

"Lorca is going to head out with you tomorrow and make sure you and Abel get there safe and Kozik is staying there till I head out there." he said as I just nodded and went to sleep even though I did not agree on Kozik staying with me.

~Gemma~

I was halfway done, and the guys have been in and out and all morning as I was waiting for Jess to come out of the room as I wanted to know how she was doing. I was pissed that I had to rely on the prospect to get everything I needed this morning, but right now all that mattered was that we were going to need a little peace time for ourselves.

"Almost done." asked Maureen as she walked into the kitchen followed by Fiona.

"Yeah." I answered dryly as Jess walked in and looked around the kitchen not saying anything.

"Mom I think you went a little overboard." she said as she grabbed a mug and walked over to the coffee machine.

"It's just breakfast and hey no coffee for you." I said as I took the mug from her.

"No hell no I gave up drinking and smoking and I can't even eat chocolate without throwing up and besides drinking coffee is not that bad yet."

"Jess just sit down I'll get you something in a bit." I said as she just shook her head and sat down at the table.

"Isn't it a little early to be fighting." said Jax as he walked in and handed Abel over to Jess as I placed a cup of orange juice in front of her. If looks could kill I would be dead.

~Jessica~

I was about to get up as Clay and Hap walked into the kitchen as mom called out the guys and everyone to join us.

"Morning baby." said Clay as he kissed my head and walked over to mom as she gave him a quick hug and walked over to me and handed me Abel's bottle.

"Clay, Unser's here." announced Juice as we all looked over at him.

"Yeah I know." was all Clay said as as he sat down as I looked around the room and noticed something was up.

"Eat." said Hap as he placed a plate in front of me as he sat down next to me as I was giving Abel his bottle and began to pick my food as mom was talking with Unser.

"He raids the clubhouse and everything is well." I mumbled under by breath as Jax sat down as he was not even bothered by Unser.

"Don't forget they want your ass in jail." said Hap as I noticed something was up with Piney as he was glaring over at Clay.

"What is Piney's problem?"

"Finds it hard to believe that McGee is in Jimmy's pocket." he said as I looked over at Maureen as she was sitting next to Trinity.

"What do you think?" I asked as I knew he loved this club more than his brothers as they all did and he would not have a problem killing one of them if they betrayed it.

"If he is he deserves to die first nine or not he betrayed the club."

"You already sound convinced." I said as he just shrugged his shoulders.

"It is what it is." he said as I noticed Opie stood up as he looked nervous as he was about to say something.

"Um I know this is not the right time for this but I just wanted to let people know that me and Lyla...

"Are getting married." finished Lyla as I looked over at them as I really did not like the idea.

"Jess at least smile." Hap whispered as I shook my head no.

"You can get away with no smiling I can to." I said as I leaned on him as I began to burp Abel as he got a little startled as everyone got excited and congratulated Opie and Lyla.

I looked over at Piney as he got up and got a bottle of alcohol as he seemed to be mumbling about something.

"Jess." said Hap as I stood up as he knew I was going to go with Piney.

"I'm just going to check up on him." I said as he just shook his head as I made my way over to the old man.

"Should you be drinking this much?" I asked Piney as I took away the bottle as he turned to look at me.

"All of this is going to shit at least let me go my way." he said as he grabbed the bottle and walked over to the living room.

"I don't think he is going to take it well." I said to Hap as I went to stand next to him as he just put his arms around me.

"Oh well congrats and since we are on a good start Jess also has something to share." said mom as I glared over at her and shook my head no. "Jess is pregnant." mom announced as Hap tightened his hold around me.

"She just had to do it." I said as I gritted my teeth as Jax hugged me all of a sudden as he moved on to congratulate Hap.

"Wow congrats baby girl did not really expect this." Clay said as he also pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks sorry mom couldn't wait." I said as he let me go as Abel was getting fuzzy and began to cry as mom came and grabbed him.

"It's alright I know how your mother is."

As I was about to say something Kozik pulled me into a hug. "So does that mean I can now congratulate you." he said as he let me go.

"What does he mean now?" Tig asked as Bobby gave me a quick hug and went over to Opie.

"Nothing." I said as he just looked at Kozik.

"You knew. Jess did he know before me?" he asked as he pointed at Kozik as I wanted no part in this.

"So what if I did." stated Kozik as he smiled over at Tig.

"You deal with that." I told Hap as I walked passed him and over to Opie.

"Hey sorry mom could not wait in announcing something that was not for her to announce." I said as he just gave me a hug.

"Not a problem Jess two things are better than one." he said as he kept his arm around me as I just agreed with him.

"You ready for this?" he asked as I wanted to ask him the same thing about Lyla.

"I hope." I said as he placed a kiss on my head.

"You will be a great mother Jess." he said as I hoped he was right.

"You and Lyla will be alright." I said as we looked around the room as everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves.

"Jess so you and Hap are having a baby." said Chibs as he gave me a quick hug as Karrine smiled at me.

"You will be a wonderful mother little Teller." said Fiona as they walked away.

"Is it just me or does she scare you too?" asked Opie as we looked at her walking over to Maureen.

"Shit she scares mom and that is never a good thing." I said as I walked away and headed over to mom as Juice stopped me midway as he just pulled me into a hug out of nowhere.

"I'm so happy for you." he said as he seemed way more exited than me and Hap put together.

"Thanks Juice." I said as I went on my way over to Hap.

"Common." said Hap as he grabbed my arm as he lead the way over to the room. "Do you need anything from the house?" asked Hap as I sat on the bed as he locked the door.

"Just some clothes and I might have to stop by at Jax's since I'm taking Abel with me."

"I don't see why you and Abel need shit if he we went to Belfast without anything." he said as I just rolled my eyes.

"Just in and out Hap I promise." I said as he just smiled and shook his head.

"Right." he said as I stood up and followed him out to see if we were going to be able to go.

~A~

"So everyone has something to do and their alibis are covered." said Bobby as Unser and Clay were standing in the middle of the living room.

"Yeah Lorca is just waiting for the go ahead and then Jess and Abel with Maureen and Fiona head out to Tacoma." announced Clay.

"So your saying they are leaving right now." mom stated as she had been avoiding me all morning.

"Well I can't just head out their with nothing for Abel." I said as I hoped mom agreed as Hap was already showing his discomfort since he already wanted me out of Charming.

"You think you can take care of that area."

"Yeah I will make sure that area stays clear." announced Unser as he and Tig stepped out of the cabin.

"Alright well I will see you after all this." said Piney as I gave him a quick hug as he and Opie headed out as Chibs talked with Fiona and Karrine and then went to join them.

"I'm going to go get my things." I said as Abel was with Jax in his room as I grabbed mom's arm and let her over to the room.

"Mom you knew I was going to wait." I said as I closed the door as she fixed her hair as I began to look for my phone and grabbed my things.

"Jessica we both know secret babies are a bad idea." she stated as I stopped what I was doing and looked over at her.

"Mom please just stop, I was going to tell them but not right now especially not right after Opie announcing his engagement."

"Your news was much better than Opie marrying Lyla." she said as Hap walked in.

"Jess let's go." he said and walked out as he noticed I was not alone in the room.  
>"No but still mom you could of waited and besides I was not going to keep my baby a secret." I said as I grabbed my phone and left the room.<p>

"Everything alright?" Hap asked as I came and stood next to him as Tig and Clay were talking.

"Yeah like always so whats going on?"

"I don't see why you have to go to Jax's house, if he already called Neeta to meet him there." said Hap as I just wanted to make sure Abel had everything he needed in Tacoma. "I just want you out of here before shit starts kicking." he said as I grabbed his arm as I stopped him from walking away.

"We will be fine Hap." I said as I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Yeah." he said as I knew something was up.

~A~

When we arrived at the house I handed the keys over to Hap as I followed him up the stairs over to the door.

"So what are we going to do with him?" I asked Hap as I overheard Killer barking as Hap opened the door as Killer tried to jump up on me as Hap stopped him and patted his head.

"I'll get someone to come check on him." he said as I headed over to the room as Killer followed me. "Always worried about the damn dog." he mumbled as he went to check the house.

~H~

Hap walked back to the room as he found Jess laying on the bed with Killer, even though he wanted to let her know that they were on a tight schedule he leaned on the door and let her enjoy some peace.

"Almost done?" Hap asked as he moved away from the door and over to her.

"Yeah well not really, I think he feels I'm going to leave him." she said as Hap shook his head.

"Really Jess." Hap said as he moved Killer away from Jess.

"Well I have neglected him Hap." she said as Killer got up and got off the bed as Hap wrapped his arms around Jess.

"Yeah well there is someone that has been neglected." Hap said as he tightened his hold on her as he kissed her.

"Really Hap neglected." she said as she put her arms around his shoulders. "I don't want to go to Tacoma without you."

"It's just for a couple of days baby."

"You're probably going to be better off without me these couple of days."

"You know me better than that Jess." he said as his phone began to ring. "Shit I have to get to the clubhouse." Hap said as he checked his phone as he got off the bed as Jess sat up.

"Let me finish so you can drop me off at Jax's." announced Jess as she continued packing as Hap nodded and walked out of the room.

Hap made sure the house was locked as he walked back into the room to find Jess changing in front of the mirror.

"Almost done?" Hap asked as he walked over to her and stood behind her and placed his hands on her waist.

"Yeah." she answered as he lowered her bra straps as he kissed her neck.

"Hap we need to go." said Jess as she tried to face him as he held her in place.

"Yeah I know." he said as he ran his hands down her stomach and stopped when he reached the button of her jeans as Hap's phone began to ring.

"Fuck." Growled Hap as Jess closed her eyes.

"We should just head over there." said Jess as she grabbed a shirt and put it on.

"Yeah." said Hap as he pulled her over to him and kissed her.

"We should go." mumbled Hap against Jess's lips.

"Yeah we should." said Jess as she tried to catch her breath.

~A~

"Will I see you before I leave?" I asked Hap as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You know you will. Go inside Jess." he said as he slapped my ass.

"Alright I love you Hap." I said as I gave him a quick kiss and headed over to the door.

I waited for him to take off and then stepped inside to find the house way to quiet as I grabbed my phone to dial Neeta's number as I had expected to meet her up here.

"Drop the phone." I heard someone say as I felt him stand behind me as I just froze there. "Now." he yelled.

"Alright." I said as I dropped the phone as I held my hands in front of me as I tried to recognize his voice.

"Well isn't this my lucky day." he said as everything went black.

~G~

I picked up Abel as Maureen stood up and looked outside as we heard a car pull up.

"It was about time." I stated as I walked out as Neeta was getting out of her car. "Where is Jess?" I asked as I noticed she was not with her.

"That's what I was about to ask you." she said as she passed me Abel's bag. "I didn't worry about it since you said she was going to be with Hap and well we both know how they are."

"Yeah come inside." I said as we headed inside as Neeta noticed Maureen. "Some people from Belfast." I said as I handed Abel over to him as we walked into the kitchen.

"Not very fond of the people I see." she stated as she picked up Abel as she sat down at the table.

"Not important so since when do you know about Jess?" I asked as I knew she probably was the first one to know.

"What about Jess?" she asked as I sat down and stared at her.  
>"Wait she didn't tell you?"<p>

"Tell me what Gemma?"

"Jessica's pregnant." I said as I had really expected her to know.

"Well that explains some things." was all she said as Maureen walked into the kitchen followed by Fiona.

~J~

I started to move as I felt someone pushing me, as I opened my eyes I came face to face with Tara as she tried to move closer to me.

"Are you alright?" asked Tara as I tried to keep my eyes open.

"I think. What is going on?" I asked as I noticed my hands and legs were tied up.

"I have no idea who he is something with the club."

"As always." I said as she just nodded.

"Does someone know you're here?" Tara asked as we looked around.

"I was supposed to meet Neeta here and well Hap dropped me off." I said as I looked around and noticed it was just me and Tara with one of the ladies from her work. "Did he get you here?"

"No I was on my way to do something."

"What?" I asked as I tried to figure out how to get untied as I was getting impatient.

"Nothing important." she stated as I got the point that she did not want to talk about it.

"How's your coworker?" I asked as she had been way too quiet all this time.  
>"She's good. Now all we need to know is what the hell does he want."<p>

"It's just him right?"

"Well he has his girl with him and he sounds like a Mayan."

"It can't be the Mayans, Alvarez is working with Clay and Jax at this moment." I stated as I remembered what Hap and Tig were talking about. "Where the hell have you been this days?"

"Jax wanted me to distance myself from the club."

"How's that going for you?" I asked as I smiled over at her as she just rolled her eyes.

"It made sense when I caught him in bed with Ima."

"His way of pushing you away."

"What does Hap do to push you away?" she asked as I wanted to laugh.

"He does the opposite of pushing me away especially now with the baby."

"I think we should figure out a way out of here rather than being way too calm." said the redhead as we turned to look at her.

"Well unless you figure out a way to untie yourself red I'm all ears and besides we have no idea what they want." I said as Tara mumbled that her name was Margaret.

"How long till they figure out your missing?" Tara asked.

"Hopefully not to long but at this moment the guys have club shit to worry about."

"Yeah and the club always comes first."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing.)


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